Been crying over and over this morning reading the story of kak Alodita. I admire her as a very positive woman who fight for her passion, and she has inspiring me along the year :)
Like every woman I know, we spend our lifetime worrying whether we can get married or not; and then after marriage, we will be judged by our nature to have a baby. Because that is why Allah created a womb inside a woman.
If we don't get what we think we supposed to get, we become annoyed. Why Allah do this to me? Why can't I get married soon like my best friends? Why can't I get pregnant as soon as I get married? So on and so forth.
The society – even the closest family – also not helping. There are many times I have to argue with my grandma just because I don't have a boyfriend after some times. I am sorry that I have this pride, and my principle is not wasting time with any guy. If you know me so well, I have been spending all my teenage years to ensure myself that a marriage can be fine – blame it to my parents' marriages. It's just for the last three years, I have been trying to change my point of view, which is so deym hard you know, and now I can see that my parents' marriages are the best life lesson Allah ever give me.
My aunt ever said to me that NO ONE would like to trust you, even though you keep saying a million times that you want to get married. Yes you really really want to get married, but as long as you haven't got married yet, everyone will think you are kind of bullsh*t. Even one of my cousin told me not to be busy taking class about marriage (Akademi Pernikahan/Kajian Pernikahan) because I am still single.
Excuse me, who are you trying to control my life?
I am sorry that I have to be this rude. But listen, all the single ladies – or men – and married women who tried so hard to get pregnant, have their own battle. We go here and there searching for solutions (Hello matchmaking! Hello IVF!), and don't forget all those sleepless nights crying and praying to Allah. All those things sometimes come to the lowest point of self.
I even once asked my mom, “Astaghfirullah, what if I never get married at all? Or what if I got married but Allah doesn't give us child?”
Alhamdulillah I have the coolest mom in the world. She said, “Relax. You will be fine, I assure you. You will be having a lot of chances to make your life (still) valuable to your surrounding.”
So then, just like I ever read from Febrianti Almeera (@pewski), please keep in your mind, that indeed marriage (and being a mother) is a form of worship, but life is not only about getting married or having baby. Life is a lot more than that. It's best to focus on maximizing our effort in order to achieve Allah' blessing (ridho). His scenario is always best, never ever question it.
I think I need to add this story to make you feel better about yourself:
“Once upon a time, there is a lady. She is a devoted woman towards Allah. She is pious (sholehah), and she always keep her heart pure and sincere. But she is single until the end of her life. So the malaikat ask Allah, why it seems like unfair for her? Allah responded, 'no man deserves to accompany her, so I save her.'”
:')
Salam,
Prima
Like every woman I know, we spend our lifetime worrying whether we can get married or not; and then after marriage, we will be judged by our nature to have a baby. Because that is why Allah created a womb inside a woman.
If we don't get what we think we supposed to get, we become annoyed. Why Allah do this to me? Why can't I get married soon like my best friends? Why can't I get pregnant as soon as I get married? So on and so forth.
The society – even the closest family – also not helping. There are many times I have to argue with my grandma just because I don't have a boyfriend after some times. I am sorry that I have this pride, and my principle is not wasting time with any guy. If you know me so well, I have been spending all my teenage years to ensure myself that a marriage can be fine – blame it to my parents' marriages. It's just for the last three years, I have been trying to change my point of view, which is so deym hard you know, and now I can see that my parents' marriages are the best life lesson Allah ever give me.
My aunt ever said to me that NO ONE would like to trust you, even though you keep saying a million times that you want to get married. Yes you really really want to get married, but as long as you haven't got married yet, everyone will think you are kind of bullsh*t. Even one of my cousin told me not to be busy taking class about marriage (Akademi Pernikahan/Kajian Pernikahan) because I am still single.
Excuse me, who are you trying to control my life?
I am sorry that I have to be this rude. But listen, all the single ladies – or men – and married women who tried so hard to get pregnant, have their own battle. We go here and there searching for solutions (Hello matchmaking! Hello IVF!), and don't forget all those sleepless nights crying and praying to Allah. All those things sometimes come to the lowest point of self.
I even once asked my mom, “Astaghfirullah, what if I never get married at all? Or what if I got married but Allah doesn't give us child?”
Alhamdulillah I have the coolest mom in the world. She said, “Relax. You will be fine, I assure you. You will be having a lot of chances to make your life (still) valuable to your surrounding.”
So then, just like I ever read from Febrianti Almeera (@pewski), please keep in your mind, that indeed marriage (and being a mother) is a form of worship, but life is not only about getting married or having baby. Life is a lot more than that. It's best to focus on maximizing our effort in order to achieve Allah' blessing (ridho). His scenario is always best, never ever question it.
I think I need to add this story to make you feel better about yourself:
“Once upon a time, there is a lady. She is a devoted woman towards Allah. She is pious (sholehah), and she always keep her heart pure and sincere. But she is single until the end of her life. So the malaikat ask Allah, why it seems like unfair for her? Allah responded, 'no man deserves to accompany her, so I save her.'”
:')
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| Pic Source: http://safina5.tumblr.com |
Salam,
Prima
Paragraf terakhirnya kece. Baru baca ada yang begitu.
ReplyDeletesayangnya aku lupa bacanya dimana.. heuheu..
Deletejadi inget ceritanya tere liye yang judulnya bidadari bidadari surga kak pas baca paragraf yang terakhir
ReplyDeleteoh ya? *browsing bukunya*
DeleteMba prima, setuju banget sama postingan ini! I feel you mba! Hidup di society yg kebanyakannya adalah judgemental dan sensitif harus nikah cepat memang bikin emosi terkadang ya! Tapi harus selalu percaya bahwa Allah pasti memberikan kita jodoh yg terbaik di waktu yg terbaik juga :)
ReplyDeletehehehe iya Nazura..
Deletekitanya udah kuat-kuatin, eeeh masih ada yg komen seenak udelnya.
sabar, sabar. Allah-lah sutradara terbaik 'film' kita :D
Saya terharu... bacanya pake hati nih :')
ReplyDelete