Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Refleksi Ramadan 1439 H: Standar Sukses Berpuasa Ramadan

“…bisa bantuin aku kasih link pencerahan rohani gitu....seriusnya....kok aku gak dapet asiknya Ramadhan.”

Setelah ber-basa basi singkat, Kak Didi, begitu saya memanggil perempuan itu, melontarkan pertanyaan yang sesungguhnya juga sedang menggelayuti pikiran saya. Wah, sepertinya dia belum baca buku saya (LOL) atau mengikuti akun Muslimah Sinau (hehe). Bercanda, Pemirsa. Saya pun bertanya balik bagaimana ibadahnya akhir-akhir ini. Dia katakan, dia baru saja bersuci dari menstruasi. Saya tanya lagi, apa ada masjid di dekat tempat tinggalnya. Ternyata oh ternyata, dia tinggal di Ubud. Waduh. *langsung menyiapkan mental* 

But seriously, although I have released a book that titled “Perjalanan Menuju Cahaya: Renungan Harian Ramadan untuk Muslimah Pembelajar” and I was sooooo happy to meet Ramadan again (I even did jingkrak-jingkrak on the first tarawih evening); I still feel that I haven’t optimized this Ramadan yet. Kabar buruknya, sudah hari ke-6. Kabar baiknya, baru hari ke-6 dan insya Allah masih ada 22-23 hari lagi untuk berjuang.

Nah, kebetulan khotbah tarawih malam ke-4 adalah tentang muhasabah diri alias evaluasi. Ustaz tersebut menyatakan, Muslim yang menjalani Ramadan ini gampangannya sedang berjalan (…menuju cahaya :p) menuju suatu tujuan. Ya ya ya, mungkin kita bahkan sudah hafal Surat Al-Baqarah ayat 183 di luar kepala, tapi sudahkah kita benar-benar memahami tujuan puasa itu sendiri?

‘Buat jadi manusia bertakwa, Prim.’  Yaaa, sekarang pertanyaannya sudah tahu apa itu takwa? Atau belum? Waiki, that’s why puasa bertahun-tahun tapi enggak berubah, gara-gara enggak tahu arah perjalanan ini. Istilahnya, Sister mau ke Jakarta, tahu banget Jakarta ada di bagian barat Pulau Jawa, tapi Sister malah bergerak ke arah timur. Enggak bakal nyampe. 

Friday, May 18, 2018

#RamadanMenulis: So I Have Two Moms

Yesterday’s topic for Ramadan Menulis was “one experience in April/May 2018 that strengthened you.” I wish I can met the deadline just like the participants did, but truth to be told, my body is still adapting with fasting and all the activities. Additionally, I didn’t expect that reading and reviewing 30 writings at the same time can be overwhelming; and I also have to choose best one/two, make posts, and upload them. I only have around one hour to do everything between my job and prayers… so yeah I delegated some tasks to Henny and Ceri.

By the way, I am still quite hurt with what happened around two weeks ago. Two times prayed tarawih with my stepmom and kissed her hand, I felt… awkward. I supposed to kiss my mom’s hand but she is not here with me. And I am still confused until now, like… Should I take the risk to go home and apologize? Or should I just stay silent until… Only Allah knows how I should reconcile with my mom, as the last accident was really painful.

But you know what makes the pain diminished? It was because I… eventually considered my stepmom as my own mother. WHOAAA, I can’t believe that I wrote that. For the last 23 years, I called her “Bu Xxxx” with name, yes Pemirsa, with name. And she always call herself with that name too when she talks with me. As my siblings call her ‘mama’, while I have my ‘mama’ in Surabaya, I just couldn’t have two ‘mama’ in my life. As much as I respect her, she would be forever “Bu Xxxx” for me. That’s why I also tended to point her as my dad’s wife, because that’s how I look at her.

However, after crying non-stop for every single day since Monday one week ago, my best friend encouraged me to tell this problem to Bu Xxxx. I said, “OMG NO, I wouldn’t do that.” But my best friend, Cibi, said I can’t take this by myself. Family should be a support system, no matter what the definition is. As I have lived in Malang for more than one month now, I should consider them as my closest family.

That Saturday, after I washed my hair (penting) and my stepmom came back from arisan, I decided to tell her why I don’t go home (to Surabaya) this weekend. I tell her everything; from the argument, the continuous fight, my battle in reducing my ego and trying to go to Surabaya every weekend, how I asked to go to psychiatrist/psychologist together, everything. I didn’t know how I could tell her without tears, but I stayed tough until the end of conversation. Luckily, I received heart-warming response, and she said, “I pray for you to find a good husband soon because you deserve it. You’re a good daughter and a good woman.” Well, she also added that she will keep supporting me to go home because after all she IS a mother and nothing will break a mother’s heart than disconnecting with a daughter.

It became a point where I no longer saw her merely as my dad’s wife, but a mother of mine. If there were some troubles in establishing relationship between us, it must have been me who built the high wall so that she couldn’t came in. Or, it was my negative thoughts saying she will not love me the way she loves her children.

Anyway, this Ramadan I thank Allah for a second chance for two of us. Me and my stepmom. I hope, if there is any obstacle you are facing with your family, will be resolved before Eid Fitri. So please pray for me and my mom too, would you?

Lots of love,
Prima

Thursday, May 17, 2018

#RamadanMenulis: Si Chinese yang Tidak Pernah Perhitungan

Sebagai usaha untuk menghalau sarang laba-laba dari blog ini, dan untuk meramaikan Muslimah Sinau, saya ‘nekat’ mengadakan Ramadan Menulis. Hampir tanpa persiapan, Alhamdulillah ternyata pesertanya sekitar 30 orang so far (we’ll see how many people survive, hehe). Kaget? Iya. Tapi saya rasa demikianlah, sepertinya tren menjadi penulis sedang marak di kalangan generasi muda.

Nah, tanpa berpanjang-lebar (karena syarat tulisannya maksimal 400 kata), topik hari pertama kemarin adalah “describe one of your closest friends”. Saya tambahkan, “jika berkenan, teman non Muslim.” Why so? Karena saya ingin menyambung blog post saya yang kemarin: Menjadi Muslim yang Lebih Berempati. Untungnya, para peserta terbuka menerimanya, dan saya senang sekali membaca tulisan-tulisan yang masuk.

Saya sendiri punya banyak teman non Muslim. Kalau sahabat, mungkin Igna dan Lesya bisa masuk hitungan. Tapi berhubung Igna sudah lumayan sering nampang di medsos saya, kali ini saya ingin bercerita tentang teman sekelas S2 saya yang bernama Nene.

Jujur awal saya berteman dengan dia, saya agak ‘bingung’. Pasalnya, dia selalu bercerita tentang indahnya masa-masa kuliah S1-nya di Universitas Atma Jaya. Rasanya kok dia ini susah move on, kan sekarang sudah S2 (waktu itu). Hahaha. Tapi lama-lama saya kagum juga dengan Nene. Setiap ada tugas presentasi, dia ini yang penjelasannya paling mudah dimengerti. She is not that kind of public speaker yang bisa ‘membius’ audiens, tapi presentasinya selalu runtut. Konon papa dan kakaknya dosen, jadi kalau dia juga punya jiwa pendidik, saya enggak heran.

Berhubung dia ini keturunan Chinese (walau papanya Batak), wajar juga kalau dia ini pengusaha sejati. Apa aja bisa jadi duit buat dia; idenya kaya dan beragam. Yang bikin kaget, tabungannya banyak coy! I mean, dalam usia semuda dia, dia sangat pintar memaksimalkan pemasukan dan menahan pengeluaran. Saya sering minta tips mengatur keuangan tapi kayaknya gagal terus. Masih suka lapar mata kalau main ke mall. LOL.

Akan tetapi, hal yang paling mengagumkan dari seorang Nene adalah sifatnya yang ringan tangan. Entah berapa kali saya dibantu olehnya, dari mulai dipinjami motor sampai dipinjami duit (ups). Saya juga sering berkeluh kesah kepadanya, dan dia hampir selalu punya solusi yang clear dan applicable. Last but not least, kedekatannya dengan Tuhan sangat menginspirasi saya. Nene kerap mengingatkan saya untuk lebih banyak berdoa karena menurutnya, Tuhan selalu punya jawaban.

Ah, how I wish we can do the pyjamas party again. Maybe one day in Bali, even though you already married. :P

Love,
Prima
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