Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Weekend Journal #12

Tiga minggu engga menulis weekend journal, kemana aja prim? Untung baru tiga pekan, belum tiga kali puasa – tiga kali lebaran. Bang Toyib, halo? :))

Dua minggu yang lalu saya berkunjung ke Jakarta untuk sharing di sebuah workshop. Saya berangkat dari Jogja hari Kamis malam, mengadakan LIMA appointment pada hari Jum’at, workshop pada hari Sabtu, bertemu informan penelitian saya pada hari Minggu, dan kembali ke Jogja hari Minggu malam.

Akhir pekan kemarin, saya volunteering di Festival Literasi KANCA yang dibuat oleh Writing Table/mbak Windy Ariestanty. Sebenarnya tidak terlalu banyak pekerjaan yang harus dilakukan, malah saya ngerasa agak magabut. Tapi akhirnya saya tepar, kemarin Senin engga bisa bangun dari tempat tidur. Turned out I got my period coming. Makanya bukan hanya capek badan, tapi juga pingin nangis kenceng entah kenapa. Bukan, bukan karena berantem sama mas Pakistan lagi (iya sih, dia sedang ngambek. Saya yang period, kok dia yang PMS -_-).

Dua kali akhir pekan ini, saya senang banget bisa bertemu teman lama, dan mendapatkan teman-teman baru. Salah satu orang yang temui di KANCA adalah Alexander Thian atau aMrazing. Saya dulu pernah bertemu dia pada tahun 2013 atau 2014 di Surabaya. He is so different and he has achieved a lot!

Buat yang sudah pernah baca bukunya Lexy, pasti tahu kalau ‘karier’ Lexy berawal dari counter hp. Boro-boro punya, dia bekerja sebagai penjaga counter hp! Saya agak lupa ceritanya, so please correct me if I am wrong. Lalu dia mencoba menulis skenario macem FTV atau film-film pendek gitu. Dengan berkembangnya networking dia, saat ini siapa sih engga tahu aMrazing? Follower Twitter-nya lebih dari setengah juta, sementara post-nya di Instagram – ya, yang sering mengundang decak kagum itu – pernah dikompilasi dalam sebuah pameran fotografi. Jangan kira dia berasal dari keluarga berada. After all, aMrazing bekerja sangat keras untuk bisa berada di posisinya saat ini.

Sosok lain yang membuat saya terinspirasi adalah Kak Jezzie Setiawan, bos saya di GandengTangan. Saya diajakin menginap di rumahnya waktu saya ke Jakarta, and her family is so lovely. Saya betah ngobrol dengan mama-papanya, kayak ngobrol sama orangtua sendiri gitu (wah, ngaku-ngaku :p). Hubungannya dengan suami, Bang Darul, juga bikin saya menginginkan pasangan seperti itu. Yang punya mimpi besar, dan mau bersama-sama berjuang mewujudkannya. Oh ya, hampir sama dengan pendiri Post Santa, Kak Maesy dan Kak Teddy, yang saya post di Instagram. Bedanya, saya engga begitu kenal dengan Kak Maesy dan Kak Teddy, sementara saya sudah bekerja dengan Kak Jezzie setahun terakhir.

Sesudah saya menginap di rumah Kak Jezzie, saya semakin takjub. Dia memang berasal dari keluarga terpandang, tapi dia mau ‘turun gunung’ untuk membantu menyelesaikan permasalahan sosial di Indonesia. Orangtuanya bisa memberikan fasilitas apa saja, tapi dia lebih memilih untuk mencari jalannya sendiri. Saya optimis kalau 2-3 tahun dari sekarang, nama Kak Jezzie akan lebih dikenal. Sekarang saja dia sudah mendapatkan beberapa penghargaan.
  
aMrazing dan Kak Jezzie memberikan contoh nyata bagi saya, bahwa kunci kesuksesan itu ada pada kerja keras diri sendiri. Dulu saya pikir, betapa beruntungnya seseorang yang sudah kaya ‘dari sananya’ dan tinggal melanjutkan apa yang telah dibangun oleh orangtuanya. Pertanyaannya kemudian, apa benar orang-orang yang terlahir di keluarga biasa saja tidak memiliki kesempatan untuk mencicipi hidup yang menyenangkan?

Lalu saya melihat orang-orang yang melepaskan diri dari latar belakangnya yang sulit, mencoba dan terus mencoba, hingga menemukan suatu jalan yang membawanya pada keberhasilan. BARANGKALI orang-orang yang tidak terbiasa untuk menerima hak istimewa, akan lebih kreatif dalam mencari cara untuk survive. Seperti saya, misalnya. Hahaha.

So what’s actually the moral story of this post? Jangan bersedih jika keadaan sister saat ini masih sulit. You may find something big if you keep trying. Sebaliknya, jangan terlena kalau orangtua sister menghujani dengan segala bentuk perhatian. Go out from your comfort zone. Make your own success as it will be more and more satisfying. 

Udah ah ceramahnya. Lanjut ngerjain tesis deh, biar bisa segera melangkah ke milestone selanjutnya. Best of luck for you who read it, keep doing the hard work!

Salam sukses,
Prima

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Catatan Online Dating (1): Bule atau Lokal?

Jadi sister sudah tahu kalau saya mencoba online dating untuk mendapatkan calon suami. Hahahahaha, agak gimana gitu ya. I know what you think of me, nantinya kalau jadi atau engga, saya rasa saya harus tetap bersyukur karena pengalaman yang saya dapatkan. Mungkin sister (dan saya pribadi) sebagai orang Indonesia masih merasa jengah mendengar tentang online dating. Sementara tips dan trik online dating akan saya ceritakan beberapa bulan lagi sesudah saya benar-benar bertemu mas Pakistan, kali ini saya mau nanya sama sister.

Adakah di antara kalian yang pernah berpikir, “mbak Prima cocoknya sama bule.”

Kalau iya, percayalah sister tidak sendiri. Banyaaaaak orang yang sering ngomong begini sama saya. Padahal saya sendiri engga pernah mengkhususkan diri untuk mengejar hanya bule. Eh, Pangeran Dubai masuk bule kah? Untuk blog post ini, semua warga negara asing saya masukin ke kategori ‘bule’ ya, hanya untuk memudahkan saja.

Ceritanya, tadi malam saya ngobrol dengan si mas Pakistan. Kami membahas betapa generasi millennial jaman sekarang (termasuk kami), merasa lebih cool kalau ngobrol dalam bahasa Inggris. Waktu saya di Jakarta akhir pekan lalu, saya menghadiri sebuah workshop menulis dan hampir semua peserta bicara (dan menulis) dalam bahasa Inggris. I was surprised.

Dalam obrolan saya dan mas Pakistan, dia keukeuh mau ngajarin anaknya bahasa daerahnya dia – macam bahasa Jawa kalau buat saya. Memang saya engga bisa bahasa Jawa halus dan engga berbicara secara fasih. Sedangkan dia sehari-hari bicara dalam bahasa Pashtun, bukan bahasa nasional yaitu Urdu. Untungnya bahasa Inggris dia lancar banget sih, bahkan jauh lebih bagus dari saya.

Obrolan ngalor-ngidul itu membuat saya menceritakan kepada mas Pakistan tentang fenomena bule hunter. Lalu dia bertanya, “apa kamu bule hunter?” *diam sejenak*

Mohon maaf sebelumnya kalau salah, disini saya mendefinisikan bule hunter sebagai ‘perempuan yang rela menghalalkan segala cara untuk mendapatkan pasangan bule, dengan kriteria apapun, yang penting bule.’ Nah, sebenarnya siiih, biarin aja orang punya hidup masing-masing. Cuma saya ingin sedikit meluruskan beberapa hal, terutama mengenai diri saya sendiri (ya iyalah ini kan blog saya).

Monday, March 6, 2017

I Want to Get Married

Being a single myself for almost 6 years now, I rarely ask “when will you get married?” to people, except to my friends whom I know well and I am sure they have boyfriend/girlfriend. I have known too many single women and men – and often I am a bit in doubt as I think...they are waaay older than me.

However, when I know the real age of this guy, I wonder what makes him still single until now. Probably, just like how some people seeing me. There must be something wrong about him, or me. For me, the assumptions can be sickening.

“Oh, you must have been always reject your parents’ suggestions.”
“Don’t be picky!”
“You work too hard.” – or – “You travel too much.”
“You are too independent, men are afraid of you.”
“You are not pious enough, pray more!”

Sadly, these kind of suspicion even contrary with what I am prepared to. As an adult, I have to be responsible to myself. It means, I have to work and earn money. Now that I am trying to escalate my career (or expand my work opportunity), I have to study and graduate. Everyone has his/her own priority, can’t you understand?

Sometimes I ask myself, have I ever prioritize marriage above anything else? My mind always occupied with many things I don’t even look for someone to date with. I thought my time will come someday, someday, someday; and suddenly I am 28 years old now. Did I miss something – or someone? Did I accidentally skip the right man?

Maybe that’s why I laughed at my boss idea about online dating. My boss is a lovely person and I know whoever with her is a lucky man. She is also a super busy entrepreneur, despite the fact that she might seems cold, her energy is derived by loving and caring people around her. But online dating? Why? I felt okay with myself. When she said that it might give me a better chance to meet my husband candidate, I thought she didn’t mean it. [First time she suggested me to create an account, it was end of 2015. Surely I declined the idea and forget it soon.]

Time goes by, we met again and she forced me. She said I deserve to be happy. And I responsed, “I AM happy.” She answered, “I know you are. But don’t you think that happiness meant to be shared?” I mumbled, but I let her installed online dating app and filled my profile.

I didn’t expect too much, so when I found myself emotionally attached to this guy from Pakistan, I was surprised. I almost quitted this app in only two weeks that time, but luckily I saw his profile at the very last time, right before I was about to click ‘disable account’. Up until now, it’s been three months. It doesn’t always smooth, to be honest. But I always hear a whisper saying, “it might works.”   

It doesn’t automatically diminishes my curiousity. If I was happy and alright with being single, why I still want to have a relationship? As I said, with all the hardship, I still got back to him, again and again. Am I just scared of being lonely?

I am not.

You might think I have warm personality and yes, I have a lot of friends. But I enjoy solitude more than other people. My roommate almost never been single because she doesn’t like to be alone. She constantly meet her friends while I can just refuse my friend’ invitation if I am not in the mood (thanks Allah for giving me such kind of understanding friends). I can turn off my phone for days and I don’t feel lost.

So why it has to be now? Why it has to be him? (uhm, perhaps it doesn't HAS TO BE now/him...)

Maybe, just maybe. Because after all this time, I have changed my mind about marriage. I thought at first we have to get married, no matter what. I thought it will be so pathetic to spend the rest of lifetime by myself. I thought having spouse and kids is everything – the only reason of happiness. While you don’t realize, marriage is NOT happily ever after. It requires hard work, every single day. It needs a lot of forgiveness and compassionate.

I finally came to a comprehension that marriage is another personal development, which you can have in order to upgrade yourself. You can find ways to grow, but with the support of someone (...you love and loves you back), you may cultivate further and faster.

I want to be the reason for someone to fight – and I want to have more reasons to keep doing better. This time, the strongest motivation is myself (or perhaps my family). But I once told my best friend, “I think there is no better feeling than looking at your kids’ eyes, then realize that all your sweat and tears are paid off.”

I want to please Allah without having to compromise myself. In life you keep making sacrifice and sometimes you worry if it is worthy. But I eventually believe that all you’ve done for Him, surely will be counted. And who can figure out if He has decide to give something big for you, not only here on earth but maybe later?

I am grateful to have this motivation again. I wish something bigger coming soon, as my best friend reminds me to have positive thoughts, especially towards Allah. I will, Put.

Bismillah.

Lots of love,
Prima 

Read also: Don't Get Married 

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Music Challenge: Summertime [SISTAR - Loving U, I Swear, Shake It]

Guess where I am right now? Yes, I am at the uni library. Right, on SUNDAY MORNING. I couldn’t work on my thsesis yesterday as I felt a bit headache and also heat stroke, although I spent all day long inside the house. I took medicine last night and I woke up feeling better, so why not celebrating this sunny day in the library?

It suits with today’s music challenge theme: summertime! I know, I know. Indonesians have to be grateful to be exposed with sun all year long – even in the raining season starts in November until now. I also know that because of the global warming, rain might just fall suddenly in the middle of June. And let’s not forget that in transition times between seasons, the weather is sooo bad your body might feel unwell (but I think it happens everywhere in the world). However, summertime always something that warmly greeted by many many people in other countries. Unexceptionally in Korea.

People say that SISTAR has been number 1 summer hit-maker. I don’t know since when, but most of their singles will be released close to summer. They also consider it carefully in terms of making the music video. They have these super energetic dances, colorful background, and fascinating scenes. No wonder myself almost wait for the summer after watching their music videos. Yeah, almost. Because I don’t fill my summertime with only sing, dance, and swim in the pool.

Sorry I can’t write much today, my hands are still trembling but I do the best I can to revise my thesis. Oh, I also want you to know that writing posts for music challenge has been entertaining me so much, it gives me pleasure and happiness. Hmm, or maybe it’s because I haven’t reached any mellow themes yet. Haha. Well then, have a nice Sunday!



 

Friday, March 3, 2017

Music Challenge: Song with Number in the Title [K.Will - Day 1]

Second post for Music Challenge, and you know what, I am already at the uni library. Speaking of high-speed WiFi connection so that I can watch any documentaries and Lion’ trailer..... Dev Patel, kalau buah kamu ini semakin matang ya, sukak deh lihatnya, hihihi.

Theme for today is “a song with number in the title”, and my mind went straight to ‘1, 2, 3, 4’ by Lee Hi. But I will save Lee Hi for another theme so I chose Day 1 by K.Will.

I love ALL K.Will songs, it’s no secret. Especially because most of his music videos are very cute I just can’t!!! But specifically, listening to this song which its music video was released in 25 June 2014 makes me feel warm. It almost remind me to my crush – almost. If I am not mistaken, when I listened to the song for the first time, I didn’t have any crush. Jadi gemes gitu, pingin ngebayangin siapa, ya sudah Pangeran Dubai aja deh :)))

As usual, K.Will shows a lot of admiration to his lady through this song. The lyrics also represent a man who feels shy, as he got a crush on a woman who deserves more than him, but he really wants to fight for her. Ladies, you should get a man who can adore you like K.Will. If this man can’t sing or make a song, make sure he does as shown below. 

..........

Then, ‘Day 1’ refers to the first day of their relationship. Well, I think in Korea and Indonesia are same, relationship should be official with the question popped up by the man, “do you want to be my girlfriend?” and an answer, “YES! YES! YES! I do!” Sorry, the woman here is quite emotional :p

Of all the ugly guys
I’m the best looking
What do I have to do to let you know how I feel?
Thinking of you drives me crazy

So I’m not that handsome
but I think I look cute when I smile
I’ll do better than all the guys out there, my love
I love you

Close your eyes and count to three
Now open and tell me what you see
Nothing? You don’t see your man?
It’s day 1 from today

I’ve never said that before
You’re my lady you’re my baby
But really, I’m not kidding
From today, from now
Will you be mine, baby


Btw, not too long after I saw the original music video, I also watched him perform the song in a music show. Although the coreography is a bit too cheesy (hmmm), but I like the part when he dance with a girl. It’s really nice. So now, let me continue my thesis and please enjoy K.Will – Day 1 (and have a nice weekend!).


Thursday, March 2, 2017

Thought Catalog: Being a Lecturer, Is It For Me?

Hi sister! Sebagaimana saya janjikan di post ini, saya akan mulai menjawab pertanyaan dari Thought Catalog. Yaaa paling engga biar blog ini terisi sementara saya terus dikejar deadline ujian tesis (masih Bab 1 dan harus lulus akhir Mei nih, hiks hiks). Tadinya saya ingin menulis dalam bahasa Inggris, sayangnya mata sepet kebanyakan baca jurnal. Selain itu, saya sudah menulis dalam bahasa Inggris untuk 15 Day Music Challenge. Jadi kali ini biarkan saya menulis dalam bahasa Indonesia, please... For now, saya akan menjawab pertanyaan ini:

If money didn’t matter, what would your dream job be?

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Music Challenge: Song with a Color in the Title [Big Bang - Blue]

Oh my God, it’s March already and I haven’t done my research yet!!!
This week I was about to punish myself and not going outside the house if I don’t make any progress. Unluckily, my cousin use the library at home for English private course so I have to pick other place. I chose to go to library at university because if I come early, I can have a nice seat. Like what I am having now, I have my own private learning room where I can sleep type peacefully.

One of the benefits to work at the uni library is, I get the access for high-speed Internet connection. However, nowadays even the students have limits which is 5GB/person. Most probably there are students use the campus Internet to download Korean drama. Me? I don't, I can just copy movies from the nearest Internet cafes, it’s faster and more convenient. LOL.

Anyway, when I work at the uni, I like listening to YouTube videos because it has autoplay so it will recommend any good songs. Also, I don’t save songs on my laptop, there is no specific reason, I just prefer to not listening anything when I work at home (or radio/Channel V are okay). That’s why I count on YouTube videos to give me update about the most ‘hit’ songs lately.

However, most likely I just choose to replay some songs over and over again. When I saw the 30 Days Music Challenge on Twitter, I thought why don’t I write such thing on my blog. But 30 days are too long for me, I can’t even commit to write two posts a week. So I shorten it up and pick 15 themes that I am gonna write. Don’t worry, I will give you more than one song on my post if I can really think of the songs.

For the first post which is today, I have to post “a song with a color in the title”. I automatically think about ‘Blue’ by Big Bang. Now that I write it, I wonder why when you are sad, you said “I’m feeling blue”? When I googled it, I found this answer from Quora (validity can’t be guaranteed):
The use of blue to mean “sad” dates from the late 1300s. There are many references as to where this expression came from some being:

This is because blue was related to rain, or storms, and in Greek mythology, the god Zeus would make rain when he was sad (crying), and a storm when he was angry. Kyanos was a name used in Ancient Greek to refer to dark blue tile (in English it means blue-green or cyan).

The phrase "feeling blue" is linked also to a custom among many old deepwater sailing ships. If the ship lost the captain or any of the officers during its voyage, she would fly blue flags and have a blue band painted along her entire hull when returning to home port.

Even though you don’t speak Korean (neither do I), you will get the meaning behind the song if you watch the original music video. It talks about the separation, devastation after it, and how faith on love can’t be restored that easy. Below is some translation from the lyrics.

I feel like my heart has stopped beating
You and I, frozen there, after a war
Trauma, that has been carved in my head
Once these tears dry up, I will moistly remember my love
I’m neither painful nor lonely
Happiness is all self-talk
I can’t stand something more complicated
It’s no big deal, I don’t care
Inevitable wandering, people come and go


Okay then, I will leave you feeling ‘Blue’ with Big Bang now. To give you a bit entertainment, I also show you the performance version. Have a great day and see you on Saturday!


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