Fragile

I've been worrying too much lately.

The signs: I started to easily forget about little things, and I also have nightmares in some last nights. Not kinda creepy one, but more like...when you wake up, you feel sooo tired and upset of spending time stuck in the nightmare. The thing with my dreams and I is, most of the time, when I wake up, I remember every scenes clearly. Sounds very sucks, right?

I know I am just feeling...insecure.

People surrounds me seems like wondering am I already achieve a measurable result, in regards to my dreams, my projects, my study plan, etc. I want to show people around me that I am doing something, but I know all I have in a day is only 24 hours and this is very limited to accomplish all things in my to-do list. 

And with all of these things, I still have to prioritize my job, and my mom.

My job surely takes most hours in a day, and don't forget about the time that I spend in traffic jam in the morning and evening. But I am okay, and like I said on Twitter last night, I work happily.

My mom is also not single anymore, but I still try to give at least my weekend for her.

So if you are a participant of #MenulisMuharram and #1Hari1Ayat, I am very sooorry for being such a lame project creator. I actually have planned to give some time to work on it, but...I don't know, the things just keep slipped out of my hand.

A friend of mine ever suggested me to stop being a perfectionist. But I can't.
The thought of not completing something perfectly scares me. Perfect, or nothing at all. I am not a 50/50 kind of person.

But, as Beyonce said, I do this for myself.
I am working my a** off on this, and I know I will arrive in my destination, soon.