Monday, October 31, 2016

Don't Forget to Breathe

Last two weeks has been so crazy I even slept for 12 hours last night! I know it’s not good but I just couldn’t help myself as I was really tired. However, I also understand that I am getting more exhausted because I didn’t make time to work out. That’s why I did jogging a bit this morning.

Anyway, there is always first time for everything. For me, it was the academic symposium that I joined last week. For you who have known me for some times, perhaps you know that I have been hesitate for all these years, to decide what I want to be after I graduated from Master Degree. As much as I love sharing and exchanging knowledge, I do realize that lecturer’s salary in Indonesia is small. Hahahahaha, reality bites! My aunt can go everywhere and help paying my tuition fee because she is so busy taking care a lot of projects. At this point, I am not sure I can handle so many things – without slipping on one thing – like her.

It didn’t stop me to join the Asian Congress for Media & Communication (ACMC) 2016 because I have to take myself to the next level. I also am very curious if I can get along with scholars. It required more effort as I have to read my research again, collect updates about football situation in Indonesia, etc.

Long story short, I arrived at the opening ceremony. I was so nervous. Luckily, I saw familiar faces as I met delegates from Universitas Brawijaya. I sat with them until the dinner, it almost felt like I play safe as I didn’t need to introduce myself to new people.

At the second day, I still feel anxious but some delegates start introducing people to their friends and colleagues. We already have parallel sessions so it became easier to spark the conversation. It didn’t happen to me as I haven’t get my session yet. But I attended some sessions and finally, make friends with students from Philippines :)))

Then, the last day came and it’s time for me to present my paper. Glad to get a few comments and questions. My research about football players also a bit ‘fun’ so I successfully made my session more relaxed and we laughed a lot. Not to mention, my moderator, mas Fajar Junaedi, is also a football addict and he completed my explanation about football in Indonesia.

Being able to share my experiences and exchange insight eventually turned me to be more confident. At lunch, I approached more participants to get their business card so that we can keep in touch. The president of ACMC, Dr. Azwan Azman also asked how I feel about the conference. I found myself expressing my anxiety to her. Curhat gitu ceritanya. She appreciates my effort and encourages me to join another conference – which I WILL! After graduate, for sure :)))

So I just want you to know that I am not always confident. I do feel insecure too, sometimes. MANY times. I got out of my comfort zone because I want to grow. So what about you? Have you done something to prove that you are committed to your self development?

Lots of love,

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