Friday, April 10, 2020

5 Things I Have Took for Granted Before Coronavirus (Part 2)

For "5 Things I Have Took for Granted Before Coronavirus (Part 1)", read here.

3. Sex Education
I am sure I am not the only person who browsed, “is it safe to have sex during this Coronavirus times?”’ Hahahahaha. I was there in a restaurant, waiting for my takeaway food while I saw a couple smooched passionately in front of me. It actually made me cautious not only because I have been officially single for nine years (cough cough), but more of... I am not sure if this is the right thing to do in this situation. 

However, as I wrote on my Instagram post, exactly at times like this, we need more love and compassion. Most of us have been in touch with family and friends more frequently than ever, because we want to know how they are doing. ‘Good morning’ and ‘how are you’ are not just for courtesy but we really mean it. Long distance relationship and marriage gets harder yet we believe that we still have a hope. 

For sex, it is a bit different case. If two people do it for pleasure, the Coronavirus bring more consciousness between them because there might be a chance to get infected… and if something worse happened, it could be too late to blame anyone. If two people do it for reproduction, will it be a wise decision as there are too many concerning things ahead? True that we cannot predict the future, but now we know that sex education should taught far more than just vagina and penis. Let’s examine all the consequences, as well as the risks. 

4. Sanitation
Image credit.

Grew up in one of the most humid cities in the world (I am exaggerating here), my frequency of taking shower was simply above normal people. This habit is carried away until now, and recently I smiled a bit when I read the suggestion from government to bath after going somewhere. 

My best friend who has been always bring hand sanitizer and wipes everywhere long before this pandemic, were like, “where have you been, people?” 

For some people, clean flowing water and anti-bacterial soap are common parts of life. Some others have to accept the reddish rusty-smell water because the nearest water source is hidden below the coal mining mountain. I was once experienced it in my dad’s working site in South Kalimantan, which could only be reached by ten hours riding the four-wheel drive car from the closest airport. After eight days there, I became okay to flush my pee with some yellowish muddy water at a transit hotel in the middle of the jungle. So I think you can imagine how I reacted when we arrived at the capital city. I felt like soaking in a bathtub full of dollars like Uncle Scrooge McDuck (or as we Indonesians know as 'Paman Gober). :))

5. Energy
Image credit.

In one workshop in November 2019, the speaker discussed about how clarity in our life begins with understanding our values. If we keep applying the behaviour that inconsistent with the values we believe in, it slowly cultivates to be pain and stress. So how do we define these values? It’s as simple as how we spend our time, money, and energy. 

What areas of your life are you the most in your element? Where are you always on time or take seriously? What others would notice about you if they observed you? Think about the motivations behind each actions. Those are the questions that became our homework. 

I can see clearly now that I repeatedly projected my energy in wrong places. And no I am not talking about Tinder — although yes it was included — but more about the general activities. No matter what we feel about our workplace, our friends/dates, our family; we already chose to give our valuable energy for it. 

In normal situation, we have the freedom to choose how we are going to spend our energy. Now that we are stuck without doing anything significant, we become more appreciative towards the energy we should have optimised. I hope, with the mindset in mind that energy is a bigger investment than just money, in the future I would not let myself trapped in a condition where I will get nothing for my growth. 


Obviously, what I have written above are everything ideal. But life is never, ever, would be ideal. And with Coronavirus, we learn to accept this unideal setting and do whatever we can to make it closer to the ideal. 

How? I remember when I was diagnosed with depression, I decided to just go with the flow. I was determined to live day by day and celebrate small wins. When I wake up and go sleep with excitement; when I choose healthy food rather than junk food; when I walk for thirty minutes; when I listen to my best friend’s problem rather than telling her about mine; when I fill up my Gratitude Journal. 

Looking back, I could see that I have survived some tragedies in my life — some I did not imagine I could get through, yet here I am still breathing and alive. Alhamdulillah. 

I wish you will find this ramblings soothing and calming your exhausted mind. I, myself, have my own “I cannot do this” moment. But I know, we’re all in this together; and this too, shall pass. 

Sending you virtual hugs from Bali,

P.S.: please share my #SaveBali fundraising project to everybody you know! Thank you! xoxo


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