Monday, December 12, 2016

The Last Five Years: Is This Relationship Worth Fighting For?

Thanks to limited choices of movie in Premiere/Celestial/Red by HBO/Warner Bros TV, I keep watching same movies again and again. I won’t complain for Slumdog Millionaire and Harry Potter though, as I keep crying for those movies. Both of the movies taught me that there might be a huge secret purpose of why we were sent to this world. If you think that the life of Harry Potter are sequences of miserable events, who could have assumed that he will be one of the biggest wizard? He lost his parents, his aunt/uncle/cousin treated him like rubbish, yet he is not the brightest student. But J.K. Rowling trusted him to be ‘the man’. Same with Jamal Malik in Slumdog Millionaire. He never give up after everything that happened to his life until he won Rs20million. So prima, don’t lose hope. 'Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.' – John Lennon

Why am I so mellow in the morning??? 

Is it because I dream about Dian Pelangi last night and wishing to give her marriage tips? (While I am not married yet...)

I guess it must have related to The Last Five Years, a musical romance movie starred by Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan. I watched the movie start in the middle somewhere last week but I couldn’t understand the story. Turned out, Wikipedia said,
“..., it does not take place in chronological order: all of Cathy's songs begin after they have separated and move backwards in time to the beginning of their courtship, while Jamie's songs start when they have first met and proceeds through their crumbling marriage.”

So then I wait if Premiere will air it again. Lucky me, I got the chance to watch it from the beginning on Saturday night. I am in love-and-hate with musical movie. Last time I watched musical movie, it was Indonesian ‘Ini Kisah Tiga Dara’, kamu bisa baca review saya disini.

The Last Five Years, although a bit confusing (even after I watch one and a half time) is not really cheesy. I personally creeps by the movie as I feel like someday it will happen to me. As the movie takes place in United States, surely the story is a worth-to-discuss idea. However, it happens everyday in Indonesia. Women forget their dreams, their life purpose, their skills and expertise, to get married and settle down. Then the husbands excel in their career, sometimes neglecting the support of their wives, probably meeting younger prettier women and blaming their wives for failing in keeping up with it. So unfair, I know.

Jamie gave up for his marriage with Cathy, because of one main reason: Jamie is getting more successful in his book writing career, while Cathy continuously fail in her way to be a prominent Broadway actress. After five years trying to survive, Jamie shouted about how he won’t be waiting for Cathy to be happy for herself. One scene that I love the most is when, in the top of their arguments, Jamie sang “If I Didn’t Believe in You.”

“If I didn't believe in you
We'd never have gotten this far
If I didn't believe in you
And all of the ten thousand women you are
If I didn't think you could do
Anything you ever wanted to
If I wasn't certain that you'd come through somehow
The fact of the matter is, Cathy
I wouldn't be standing here now

If I didn't believe in you
We wouldn't be having this fight
If I didn't believe in you
I'd walk out the door and say,
"Cathy, you're right"
But I never could let that go
Knowing the things about you I know
Things, when I met you four years ago, I knew
It never took much convincing
To make me believe in you”

I have realized it for too long now that there is no such thing as happily ever after. A marriage with all the smiles and laughs, love is in the air, will be lasts for only three years, if it’s not three months. What makes a  relationship long last is the willing to communicate what’s on your mind. Bad news is, we can’t always agree with ALL opinions and thoughts of our spouse. There will be “what do you mean?”, “I don’t like your idea”, “I think I can do better than you for this thing”, and many more. The most important thing is not what you say, but how you say it (and this is what I have been learning for 9,5 years now).

In fact, relationship will work if you are ready to fight. Defending what you want, but also thinking the best for the rest party. The first question then is, “is this relationship worth fighting for?”

Beyond the fight, this movie reminds me to ask the most fundamental question to my husband candidate, “what’s your biggest dream?” and tell him mine. I do worry to be a wife who can’t keep pace with my husband’ triumph. I want to be someone he can talk with, about everything. His job, his fear, his happiness.

I also understand if something change along the way. There might be ups and downs. So then it will be another thing, do you believe that I deserve to accompany you in the peak? Will I make myself deserve it?

Barangkali kemudian inilah yang menjadi pemantik masalah rumah tangga Dian Pelangi dan suami. MUNGKIN, ketika suami lalai untuk terus berjuang atas namanya sendiri agar istrinya bangga. Sementara sang istri lupa bahwa ada ridho suami dalam setiap langkahnya, yang mengantarkan dirinya kepada keberhasilan.

Somehow the marriage crashed. Cathy devastated, thinking that she is a failure. Jamie run out of way to encourage Cathy. Both of them leaving no reason to fight for the marriage.

So now, ask yourself, will you fight for yourself? Will you fight for him? Will you fight for both of you? Last but not least, will he do the same?

Lots of love,


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