tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67153609858953925712024-03-28T06:53:19.814+07:00A Blessed LifePrimadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.comBlogger611125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-25796369473906001122022-12-28T12:54:00.007+07:002022-12-29T20:21:14.857+07:00The Year of Starting All Over Again<p style="text-align: justify;">This morning I woke up with excitement as I have appointment for another “mentee” that will join the career consultation with me. After the first mentee yesterday, I am getting more thrilled to listen to the stories from aspiring career fighters/fresh graduates. I told Najwa, my today’s mentee, that this kind of interaction is not only beneficial for them but also for me. They are keeping me updated with the world of job-seeking nowadays, and I also learn a thing or two from their journey. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">After finishing the consultation at 7:10, I walked at Kemang Village, and masyaAllah.. The feeling of immerse gratitude warmed my heart. On my birthday this year, I “lost” everything – I know it might not be the right word to portray what really happened, but like many people know, that time I was angry, sad, devastated, and clueless. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">I somehow cannot believe, that in less than three months: I have a new amazing job, stay in a decent comfortable place (with a swimming pool that I can say almost private because it is only me and another housemate who use it), and already fostering a lovely cat. Some people would say I am lucky, but if possible I would be screaming to their face, “you have no idea what I have been through to get here!” </p><p style="text-align: justify;">2022 is an exhausting year, indeed. I began this year with the detailed plan of Gathering Nasional Bojonegoro, and in the middle of the preparation, I got COVID-19 which effects lasted for weeks. I got tired quickly, no matter how much I eat or how consistent my workout is, even in the times when I do not work that hard. Ramadan, although making me joyful as usual, but we started to do “buka bareng” and tarawih in the mosque. “Mudik” was also not giving me a refreshing feeling, as people are no longer can wait to gather with their family. Getting the tickets was a hustle, not to mention the trips with a packed train or plane. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">With the rest of the energy, I crawled into September, and just like what I have written <a href="https://theprimadita.blogspot.com/2022/10/pamit.html" target="_blank">here</a>, I eventually knocked out much earlier than I expected. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">*sigh</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Okay, this is a lot different than what I planned to write, lol. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">What I actually wanted to say was, I do not want to sugarcoat everything. Skip all those motivational and inspiring quotes, when sh*t happens in your life, it just happened. There is nothing you can do right at the incident time, other than accept and surrender. Just like how you swim in the ocean:</p><p style="text-align: justify;"><br /></p><p style="text-align: justify;"></p><blockquote>Trying to swim against a rip current will only use up your energy; energy you need to survive and escape the rip current. Do NOT try to swim directly into to shore. Swim along the shoreline until you escape the current's pull. When free from the pull of the current, swim at an angle away from the current toward shore. – US National Weather Service </blockquote><p></p><p style="text-align: justify;">Thus, I guess that this is the first progress I made during 2022. I learned to accept, surrender, and let go faster than in the last few years; and I believe it contributes to “the better life” I am currently building. To be fair, I did not have many energy to journal, but whenever I pushed myself to write, I kind of release negative energy from my body. With the help of guided sleep meditation, I can sleep a bit more peacefully; and one of the biggest wins of the year was meeting a psychologist whose vibe align with my prayers along the years. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">On the other hand, a much more visible progress which I can be proud of, can bee seen in my career journey. There is a slight uncomfortable feeling I am experiencing as I am writing this, probably because as a woman I am raised to not acknowledging my achievements straightforwardly, but anyways.. after dozens of applications, I went to several important interviews, and landed one job in a relatively quick time. When I asked my network to share the news that I am searching for a job, they helped without any doubt; and I got recommendations from anywhere. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">On top of everything, I came to the end of year accomplishing one book draft, yay! After leaving my blog idle for two years, I am glad that I still be able to pour my experiences and thoughts into pages of writing. However, to be honest, I am not satisfied with the result, so I am entering the phase of reflection and consideration to transform it into a different form of writing. Based on the wisdom of publishing two previous books, I want to take it more slowly this time, although if I can launch it at the Ubud Writers & Readers Festival 2023, that will be awesome!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidJ762C3_va6BJY4EMulxoSzAihBYCyZRnZZr7JGkAd8W64jPoQ75qa__SH1wvc1hjXoCIoJ4t7Ex7CAlrFFVjnx4wwGAnLmoNcdyfC_SDTeb2VmpROQI7ERhmxb4JuRSVKyhTnJFNfkP_Tftojt40e2COW3DKTj_Xqf-ThyMaM8KJLrBSUcsgW_JuYg/s1068/DxdDqk-UcAAg-zu.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="561" data-original-width="1068" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidJ762C3_va6BJY4EMulxoSzAihBYCyZRnZZr7JGkAd8W64jPoQ75qa__SH1wvc1hjXoCIoJ4t7Ex7CAlrFFVjnx4wwGAnLmoNcdyfC_SDTeb2VmpROQI7ERhmxb4JuRSVKyhTnJFNfkP_Tftojt40e2COW3DKTj_Xqf-ThyMaM8KJLrBSUcsgW_JuYg/s320/DxdDqk-UcAAg-zu.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><p style="text-align: justify;">Initially I thought that I will close this year with a ready-to-submit application for PhD, or an establishment certificate of my own foundation, but Allah is the best scenario writer. Valerie in her podcast, The Mindful Babe, said that sometimes you do not get what you manifest simply because God knows better that it is not what you NEED. This year I wanted to be in control of many things, only to realize that I focused too much on the outcome but neglecting the action and implementation. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">Therefore, my theme for 2023 will be UNLEARN, UPSKILL, and RESKILL. I am more than ready to empty my cup, grasp more meaningful lessons from inspiring people, and walk step by step… to be arrived in December 2023 with a solid plan in my hand, whether it is to really pursue Ph.D, or take a certification in community engagement, event organizing, public relations, or human resources management. </p><p style="text-align: justify;">I embarked on my journey in 2022 feeling like have to force things in order to obtain something, but as I close the pages, I comprehend that sometimes, all you can do is open to God and trust the divine timing. Laa hawla walaa quwwata illa billah. </p>Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-75926713989127783652022-10-30T04:27:00.014+07:002022-10-31T16:50:04.953+07:00Pamit<div style="text-align: center;"><b>"Change is scary but so is staying the same."</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZcEqCsDflY4" width="320" youtube-src-id="ZcEqCsDflY4"></iframe></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">“Don’t you want to move to Jakarta?”</div><div style="text-align: justify;">“Why?”</div><div style="text-align: justify;">“So that we live closer.”</div><div style="text-align: justify;">“If I moved to Jakarta and we live closer, what would YOU do TO ME?”</div><div style="text-align: justify;">“…..”</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">He didn’t answer. He didn’t say a word when he drove me to the train station, and even though I told myself to not look back, I knew he took my pic as I walked by.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I never expected that it would be the last time we saw each other.</div><br />---<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Falling in love is never easy.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">You have butterflies on your stomach constantly. You feel your body goes hot and cold when you text him and wait for his response. You giggle as you remember the silly jokes and flirty chats. You cry when you cannot see his face more than three days.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It’s messy.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">As much as I believe that happiness and sorrow are two main fuels in writing, I don’t like it when I start loving a guy. I am not myself when I care too much, I realize I cannot make a guy loves me if he doesn’t want to, and this uncertainty puts me – most of the times – in bad mood.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">However, <b>being a hopeless romantic and a full-of-rainbow Energizer rabbit, if you ask me if it is still worthy to love and lost, I will firmly say yes.</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5Z9_GTGmLcF34QQmfC05A5G3t8BPdNV23-6Cy8rDfZ9dy6YENA1x97Ms_zJN4dmgcdMmITLVK7mbGXaFGufPUlagIWSX-4ULm5A93yPw2_h6EQNA_40bohZKaXsdwQF7lOLOPbG6T-MGPuaywkQQSY6vXUylV2kFvOK5nMZP6H8ex2quWd0BxRtL5CQ/s271/love%20lost%20qowi.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><img border="0" data-original-height="271" data-original-width="186" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5Z9_GTGmLcF34QQmfC05A5G3t8BPdNV23-6Cy8rDfZ9dy6YENA1x97Ms_zJN4dmgcdMmITLVK7mbGXaFGufPUlagIWSX-4ULm5A93yPw2_h6EQNA_40bohZKaXsdwQF7lOLOPbG6T-MGPuaywkQQSY6vXUylV2kFvOK5nMZP6H8ex2quWd0BxRtL5CQ/w138-h200/love%20lost%20qowi.jpg" width="138" /></span></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">"Coincidentally", he published this book moments before meeting me.</span></td></tr></tbody></table><div><div><br /></div><div>---</div><div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">You see, even a guy cannot changed my mind to leave everything and start over in Jakarta. It was January 2019, one week after his mom passed away. Both of us had no job, he resigned when his mom entered the fourth stadium of breast cancer, and I just finished my contract in Ubud (later on that week, I got the contract renewal and went back to Bali).</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It was a battle in my heart and mind. I know I love this guy and we could make good partnership, but I also know that it is an unrequited love. My gut said he will marry soon, although that time I was the only woman in his life other than his mom and sisters, then yes it came true. 5 March 2019, he texted me that he is about to propose a girl… in which I used that text as an opening for my second book.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So why would a simple girl whose daily rituals included performing morning walk while waiting for the sunrise in Sanur and sipping coconut while watching the sunset in Seminyak or Uluwatu; packed all of her stuffs then transform her lifestyle to adapt with hustle and bustle in a metropolitan city?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Yes, she fell in love.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But this time, she didn’t fell in love with a guy. She “fell in love” with FOUR guys and their dreams. She believed in their vision and mission; and wanted to take a part in actualizing this noble purpose.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">She has been taught by her parents and big family, to surround herself with people who fight for the prosperity of the people. She has been “branded” by her friends, that whenever she accepted a job to work for, she is not looking for money. She lives for His blessings, so as difficult as it was to get out from her comfort zone: she made a prayer, put her faith in God, and off she went.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">---</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I can assure she had so much fun.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Although she faced so much confusion as well, but the days went very fast, leaving no space for her to overthink like she usually did.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Even before officially working, she already got introduced to the facilitators and seniors. She also got calls to resolve issues among the volunteers! And the more time she spent at office, the more she feels energized! She finally found her place!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Some people experiencing different duration for honeymoon, but for her it lasted for at least ten months. She is having a platform to create, connect, and contribute – just like her life principles; so if she could stay at office for meetings and doings, she would. She argued, supported – and got supported, joked around her teammates. For her, everyone is just like her younger sisters or brothers. She likes to see them growing to become better human. Boy, when it came to performance reviews and she had to let go somebody, she lost her appetite for days.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">After a few months, we can see that her popularity is rising. Volunteers started contacting her not only to ask advices for social projects, but also to hear her opinion about their love life.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">“Yooo, your Director is single as f*ck. How dare you come to me for suggestions?”</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">So many smiles. So many laugh. Just like a quote on the cover of a monthly journal her best friend gave her before starting the new year.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Slow but sure, physically exhausted but mentally still want to pursue the goals, she began to feel insecurities crawling inside her body. There is a voice inside her head saying she is not good enough, and eventually she will fail. She held her tears so hardly in a brainstorming session with a senior, as he said, “if you even failed, so what? Nobody in this world who is never failed.”</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">That’s when she found another quote, <b>“The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.”</b> She internalized these words like a mantra. Now whenever she heard those doubts, she told herself that she is a farmer, and someday there will be a perfect time to harvest.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">But patience is not her best trait. She wants a result – a BIG one – RIGHT NOW. She is having another battle to be win for. She poured over herself, more, more, more, until nothing left for herself. Silently, she talks to psychologist, psychiatrist, and career coaches, because somehow she is convinced that she is a bad leader. Her performance slopping down, although on the other hands, people still congratulate her for making some breakthroughs. She believed they tell lies just to make her happy… she cannot comprehend why people still compliment her for what she took as failures.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Eventually, that day arrived sooner than she predicted.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The day she lost her confidence.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">One mistake.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Became THE trigger for all the destructions.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">---</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Three weeks, she struggled with anger, disappointment, and guilt. NOT to anyone but to herself. She wanted to fight harder but she could not even think straight. She was, and still – until this writing is published – in love with all of this, but she doesn’t know if the other side wanted her as well. The joy disappeared instantly, she lost her appetite more severe even when she had dinner with a guy she really likes, she said, “please finish, I will stop.”</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">In contrary with what people might be thinking, she blamed herself for everything that happened.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">“You should have been more patient.”</div><div style="text-align: justify;">“Yes, you should have fought harder.”</div><div style="text-align: justify;">“You are a Communications Master but very, very not communicative.”</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">---</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Three weeks, she journals every single day, often. On her diary, on her phone. Tried to rationalize and making sense.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">At one point, she found herself sick. Indeed, like a friend made an example for her, “you must be feeling like a tree that being revoked until its roots, leaving a big hole on the surface.”</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;">As painful as it is, she said it should stop. She still got contacted by volunteers, and she found enlightenment when they shared their stories…</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">“Kak Prima, hari ini kami dapat dukungan dari komunitas…..”</div><div style="text-align: justify;">“Kak Prima, mohon doa kami akan antarkan bantuan ke pelosok…..”</div><div style="text-align: justify;">“Kak Prima, minggu ini kami mau launching gerakan yang dulu kakak bantu inisiasi…..”</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">As much as she wishes to be given a chance to defend herself and fix everything; she chose to surrender and let go.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;">After all, just like falling in love to a guy, if he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, why would you beg him strongly?</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">---</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Today, she will be returning to Jakarta. But most probably not to go back to that house anymore.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">She really misses everyone, but she decided to close the page, and one day if they ever met again, hopefully what left is good memories only, nothing else.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because the feeling that ruling her now is GRATITUDE. What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger – or in her case, will become great content for her next book (catch the hint! *wink wink).</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Almost two years, and it was just about the time that God taught her to be wiser.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Almost two years, she had her time to bring ideas to life. She traveled to places she never stepped her feet on. She got introduced to a lot, a lot of amazing people – who speak the same language: kindness.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">For her, that is more than enough.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">If she is a glass, she is full.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">And she is ready to empty it again.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Learning new lessons.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Meeting new people.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">Making new masterpiece.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>She would be glad to correct what her friend said about a tree.</b></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;"></div><blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: medium;">As she is now a taller tree, which has stronger roots.</span></div></blockquote><b><div style="text-align: justify;"><b>Growth</b>, that’s the big theme for the last two years.</div></b><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div><div style="text-align: justify;">And for her to unlock another prize, sadly she has to say good bye.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Because you know what Paulo Coelho once said, <b>“If you are brave enough to say good bye, life will reward you with a new hello."</b></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div></div></div>Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-32513878246272616842020-09-20T19:51:00.006+07:002020-09-20T19:56:26.443+07:00My Prayer Has Been Answered<p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A couple weeks ago, I changed my afternoon walking route and strolled through an area which I never passed before. Let me tell you this, what I get to love about Sanur is I have never shared it with anyone -- I mean, a guy. I did once had dinner with a date in Sanur (which ended with he left me on the street so I had to take GoJek home), but the beach is all for me and myself (well, for me and some good friends). </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But specifically that day, what I saw amazed me. My favorite part of Sanur used to be in the front of the Hyatt/Pizzeria restaurant because there is a vast clean yellowish sand area, a small part of it covered with shady trees, but as many stray dogs make it as their territory, not too many people like to sit there. I love it, I love dogs anyway, and once in a while I feed them. However, this part close to the Prama and Puri Santrian hotel is a lot wider and quieter. The water is so blue and the wave is so calm..... I have no idea why young foreign tourists or so-called 'digital nomads' don't like Sanur. Man, it's so beautiful, much more than Kuta or *uhuk uhuk* Canggu. As I barely see people there at around 4-6 PM, I would love to lay there and read books, but I don't know why I haven't done it yet...</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">At that moment, the thought of taking someone special: we will sit side by side, hold each other's hand, talk about our days and stuffs; crossed my mind. Look, I have been single for nine years, and as much as I embrace my singleness, I wouldn't saying that I could pass everyday smoothly. Some days are truly, madly, deeply hard. I am good at keeping the sad news to myself, but when something good happened to me and I have no one to share with (or I have to wait for my friends), I became a bit wrecked. As if I wake up in the morning and listen to Bruno Mars singing "<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; text-align: left;">Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now", only I had never shared my bed with anyone. "My heart breaks a little", and the good news is no longer good news anymore. </span></span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">...</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Earlier this year, I wrote a status on Facebook: </span></p><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><blockquote><p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; text-align: start; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Dear God, for this year's birthday may I please have someone to come home to, or someone who will come home to me? 10 October is still 8,5 months away. Thank You."</span></span></p></blockquote><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Some days ago, I got a call from a friend who works in a publisher, and we talked about my new book ideas. She encouraged me to write 'this one' and so, hopefully I will publish at least two nonfiction books next year, and another fiction which is translated into English. I was like...</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></p><blockquote><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">"Allah, what did I ask you? Why more and more personal project? Excuse me, I prefer a 'collaborative' project, I am sure you know what I mean."</span></p></blockquote><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Then this morning I contemplated while doing my morning walk (just me being a normal Prima), tried to evaluate my efforts in acquiring a husband, one by one, what I have done, what I haven't done, what works -- obviously many didn't work...</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">But I have to start thinking about my new book, so I scrolled TED videos, typed "failure" on the search box (because I am going to write about it), and I stumbled upon this video below:</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_waBFUg_oT8" width="320" youtube-src-id="_waBFUg_oT8"></iframe></span></div><span style="font-family: arial;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></span><p><span aria-hidden="true" class="blast mmt-sentence" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #3a3a3a; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"></span></span></p><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><span style="background-color: #fcff01; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;"><span aria-hidden="true" class="blast mmt-sentence" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #3a3a3a; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">But then I would find my resolve, and always in the same way, by saying, “I’m not going to quit, I’m going home.”</span><span style="color: #3a3a3a;"> </span><span aria-hidden="true" class="blast mmt-sentence" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #3a3a3a; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">And you have to understand that for me, going home did not mean returning to my family’s farm.</span><span style="color: #3a3a3a;"> </span><span aria-hidden="true" class="blast mmt-sentence" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #3a3a3a; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><b>For me, going home meant returning to the work of writing because writing was my home, because I loved writing more than I hated failing at writing, which is to say that I loved writing more than I loved my own ego, which is ultimately to say that I loved writing more than I loved myself.</b></span></span></blockquote><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial; text-align: justify;">You will think that it's simply a coincidence that Elizabeth Gilbert' home is writing -- just exactly what I feel about writing. I am nowhere close to Elizabeth, I am a mediocre writer: I have two books which was and will be published by myself, not by a major publishing. The sales of my first book was saddening, it could not even pay those bobas I drank while making the book came true. I am a slow columnist and blogger, I only produce very few pieces in a year. But. I. Have. Never. Stopped. And. Not. Yet. Plan. To. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"></span></p><p><span><span style="background-color: white; color: #3a3a3a; font-family: arial;"></span></span></p><blockquote style="text-align: left;"><span><span style="background-color: #fcff01; font-family: arial; font-size: medium;">My point is that I’m writing another one now, and I’ll write another book after that and another and another and another and many of them will fail, and some of them might succeed, but I will always be safe from the random hurricanes of outcome as long as I never forget where I rightfully live.</span></span></blockquote><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">So then, I realized that Allah has answered my prayer. </span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I have been home all along.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">He granted it even before I asked.</span></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: arial;">And now I am content. </span></p><p></p><p></p>Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-63649399054070933892020-08-31T17:08:00.006+07:002020-08-31T17:10:08.934+07:00A Letter to My Daughter (Surat untuk Anakku (4))<p><span style="font-family: Arial; text-align: justify;">Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>My dearest daughter who is still in the heaven,</i></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">How are things there?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Everything is much better there than here on Earth, I supposed…</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Ibu* knows you must be mad because you have been waiting for my letter (“Ibu, I want ONE letter every two years is that too much to ask for?” — Yes, yes I can hear you would say that), but still I had a wish that I don’t need to write you a letter, so I waited until the last day of August…</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">…and as I — we — only have four months left in this year, we can be sure that we will not meet this year.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">When someone broke Ibu’ heart early last year, Aunty Kiki wondering, “On your wedding day, I will tell it to your husband’ face: “Where have you been? Prima has been waiting for you along her life.”” But I told her, even myself has no clue who he is, where he is right now, and what he is doing until it takes him so much time to pick me up.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Oh, Allah must have whispered to you his name? Can you whisper it to Ibu as well? I promise we will keep it as our secret until the day is coming. ;)</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>My lovely daughter, the reason I still wake up in the morning and do the things I am doing…</i></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Two years have passed since my last letter, thus I have sent you <a href="https://theprimadita.blogspot.com/2018/08/surat-untuk-anakku-3.html">three letters</a>, and some days are truly hard.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Ibu wouldn’t lie that sometimes Ibu feels like we will not meet at all. I know my time is limited to have you. I thought I will have you when I was… 24 years old? And this year I will be 32… but I don’t want to give up. Yet.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">You might see me hitting the rock bottom last year, but eventually I rise up, and you might also see… I turned the table in just five months.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">When the world seems like stopped because of the deadly virus called Corona, Ibu signed deals with some parties for Ibu’ second book; started the writing consultancy services with two clients: an exciting book project about traveling, and one of the Fast Company’ Most Innovative Companies 2020; also planning three social projects; all while maintaining performance at the office. On some nights, Ibu cried because Ibu is so exhausted — but in the next morning, Ibu wakes up too early because Ibu is very excited to start the day.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Yes, you gotta be ready that you will inherit this endless energy from Ibu. :))</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><span><a name='more'></a></span><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">However, in the other nights when Ibu has ticked some boxed in the daily to-do list, Ibu also experiences a severe loneliness. Ibu wants to share the bad and good news, the annoying and silly stories, the failures and achievements… but who will listen?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">You know Ibu has stopped talking with Nenek*, and everytime Ibu calls Kakek*, Ibu wants him to think Ibu is all fine. One short sentence said in a sad tone, in these challenging times, can make him worry too much and Ibu doesn’t want that.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">And you know since Aunty Rizka passed away in February, Ibu only has Aunty Fanny, Aunty Sheila, and Aunty Fira who are busy with their kids… Surely they will be ready to be called whenever Ibu needs them, but Ibu just doesn’t want to disturb them…</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The other Aunties? Ibu is sure they also have their own life challenges… Duh, you cannot imagine how awful life is currently. Even your biological aunty lost her job although she was one of the brightest employee.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">So in the night of 17 August, after Aunty Ety came to Ibu’ place and shared her happy news, Ibu sobbed. Ibu asked Allah, “Will I ever get married? If yes, what kind of a man he is? Can I ‘order’ some specific requirements? But, do I deserve to get this wonderful man? If I would not get married as ever, what sins have I performed that makes You bring this man further from me?”</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">The answer came in Surah Luqman (31: 22), <i>“And whoever submits his face to Allah while he is a doer of good - then he has grasped the most trustworthy handhold. And to Allah will be the outcome of [all] matters.”</i></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i></i></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">After that day, I “let you go”.</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">I surrendered.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">If Allah still has a will to bring you to me, He will ease the way.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">If… not, He knows best.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">He knows best.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">He knows best.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">For you. For Ibu. For your father, if he will — or will not — show up.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i>My beautiful daughter,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></i></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Usually, it was when Ibu surrendered completely, Ibu gets what Ibu wants the most.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">It was when Ibu became grateful that something did not happen as Ibu wishes, Ibu became happiest.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">So if this is the only way for us to meet on Earth, Ibu wholeheartedly trusts in Allah.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">One day, we will look at each other and all the tears Ibu shedded, will turned into joyful tears.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Sleep tight, My Baby.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Now Ibu has to study for the test of governmental employee selection (Ibu will tell you about this soon!).</span></p><p class="p2" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span><br /></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Hug tight and a gazillion of kisses,</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Ibu</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">---</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><br /></span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;">Ibu = Mommy</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;">Nenek = Grandma</p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; text-align: justify;">Kakek = Grandpa</p>Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-87976842392686250132020-07-15T20:50:00.002+07:002020-07-15T21:20:54.005+07:00Surat Untuk Mamaku (A Letter For My Mom)<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Semoga Mama selalu dalam penjagaan Allah.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Suatu hari pada tahun 2014, setelah kakak kembali ke rumah selama dua tahun, kakak meledak. Betul kakak mengatakan, “Kakak enggak bahagia sama Mama!” Lalu Mama menampar kakak, dan mendorong kakak ke pintu kamar belakang. Luka fisik, jika ada, dapat disembuhkan dengan mudah. Namun luka batin, tertinggal di sana, menganga semakin dan semakin lebar setiap harinya.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Momentum itu menjadi titik balik dalam kehidupan kakak, karena kakak bisa menerima ketika Mama memukuli kakak waktu kakak masih kecil (kakak nakal, kakak perlu pelajaran kedisiplinan, baiklah). Tapi ketika kakak sudah merasa cukup umur, dan ternyata perasaan kakak tidak layak untuk dipedulikan, kakak bingung harus berbuat apa.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Lagi, mengambil jarak dari Mama menjadi solusi "instan". Kakak berpikir, mungkin beberapa tahun ke depan kita berdua akan berubah. Kakak bisa legawa dalam menghadapi Mama, pun sebaliknya.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Kajian agama, buku-buku tentang hubungan orangtua dan anak ataupun percintaan, konsultasi dengan psikolog maupun psikiater sudah kakak telusuri. Ada satu kesimpulan yang kakak ambil, bahwa barangkali pada tahun 2014 itu, bukannya kakak tidak bahagia sama Mama, tapi <b>kakak tidak bahagia karena merasa tidak mampu membuat mama bahagia.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></b></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Sejak Mama menikah lagi dengan papanya adik dan ditinggalkan, kakak mengamati bahwa ada kekosongan di hati Mama. Dan sebagai seorang anak sulung yang dititipi berkat nama “Maha Pengasih”, tanpa sadar kakak mengambil kebahagiaan mama sebagai misi hidup kakak. Kakak mencerna semua kritik dari Mama, ketidakpuasan Mama terhadap diri kakak — atau bahkan orang lain, sebagai kegagalan kakak pribadi.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Tahun demi tahun, kakak mencobai berbagai jalan agar Mama merasa lebih bahagia, lebih sehat, lebih peduli terhadap diri sendiri (dan adik)… Mama masih terus membuat keputusan-keputusan tanpa pertimbangan matang dalam menyelesaikan tantangan hidup, yang mana ternyata kebanyakan, bukan pilihan yang lebih mudah. Pun bukan dengan cara yang lebih elegan, terutama jika melihat bagaimana Mama memperlakukan beberapa orang yang telah berupaya membantu Mama.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Maret lalu, ketika kakak tahu Mama memilih untuk kembali ke rumah PS 2, akhirnya kakak menyerah. Tidak akan ada yang bisa kakak lakukan untuk mengubah situasi. Kakak<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>telah tiba pada titik terendah perasaan kegagalan membahagiakan Mama. Kakak pasrahkan kepada Allah, karena persoalan ini sudah benar-benar di luar kemampuan kakak.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Kamis, 9 Juli 2020, kakak membaca sebuah kalimat dalam buku, <i>“Pada akhirnya aku yakin, jika aku cukup baik, jika aku cukup mencintainya, jika aku cukup berbuat, aku akan bisa memenangkan hatinya dan dia akan mencintaiku. Rasanya seperti berusaha melelehkan gunung es dengan sebatang lilin.”</i></span></div>
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Tentu saja kakak pernah merasa dicintai oleh Mama. Kakak tidak mungkin menafikan semua yang telah Mama lakukan untuk kakak sepanjang masa hidup kakak, dan apapun yang kakak lakukan tidak akan mampu membalas itu. Kakak sedang menanti Seleksi Kompetensi Bidang (SKB) CPNS; kakak sedang berupaya menyelesaikan novel pertama; kakak, alhamdulillah, masih bertahan di Bali dengan pekerjaan yang lumayan. Mama punya andil yang teramat besar dalam mendidik kakak untuk bisa bertahan.<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Namun, sebuah jurang di antara hati kita telah terbangun bertahun-tahun. Dan tanpa sadar, berbekal pengalaman dengan Mama, berkali-kali kakak mencoba memasuki hubungan dengan lelaki, dan kakak berusaha bahagia dan membahagiakannya.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Sayangnya pertanyaan itu menghantui kakak — jika kakak tidak bisa bahagia dengan seseorang yang melahirkan kakak, bagaimana kakak bisa bahagia dengan orang asing, dalam hal ini pasangan hidup nantinya? <b>Bagaimana kakak bisa membahagiakan seseorang, jika ia tidak mengizinkan kakak membahagiakannya?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></b></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Maka kesimpulannya sederhana, barangkali Mama tidak tahu apa itu bahagia. Seperti apa yang kerap Mama pertanyakan, “Buat apa mengejar kebahagiaan?”<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Karena Allah mau kita hidup berbahagia, Ma.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Karena Allah mau kita memberikan yang terbaik untuk diri kita, orang-orang terdekat, dan umat.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Karena Allah mau kita menjalani ibadah dengan perasaan suka cita dan gembira.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b>Dan karena kakak tidak mungkin membuat Mama bahagia jika Mama tidak mengizinkan diri Mama sendiri berbahagia; kakak memilih pergi.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></b></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Masih dari buku yang sama, terdapat kalimat lain: <i>“Dan sekarang aku bisa mengikhlaskannya. Aku bisa berhenti berusaha. Aku bisa berhenti menangis. Aku bisa berhenti berharap bahwa segalanya akan berubah. Aku bisa melepaskannya. Aku tidak marah lagi, aku hanya lega. Aku bisa menyerah.”</i></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Kakak masih terus memikirkan Mama, tapi sekarang kakak jauh lebih tenang. Perasaan kakak lebih stabil, karena tidak perlu menggantungkan diri pada suatu keputusan yang sewaktu-waktu berubah — dan tidak dapat diprediksi. Kakak bisa membiarkan Mama menjadi diri Mama sendiri, tanpa pengharapan, tanpa keinginan, tanpa tuntutan.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Kakak telah memilih untuk bahagia, Mama kapan?</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">-----</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "arial";">Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh,</span><span class="Apple-converted-space" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: "arial";"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">May Mama always be in Allah's protection.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">One day in 2014, as I have returned home for two years, I exploded. Yes, I did say, "I am not happy with you!" Then you slapped me, and pushed me to the door behind me. Physical injuries, if there is any, can be easily healed. But the inner wound, left there, the crack becomes wider and wider every day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">That moment was a turning point in my life, because I could accept when you beat me when I was a child (naughty kid, I need to be disciplined, alright). But when I feel like I was old enough, and it turns out my feelings are not worth caring for, I became confused on what to do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Again, taking distance from you becomes an "instant" solution. I think, maybe the next few years both of us will change. I will have more understanding on how to handle you, and vice versa. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">I have been looking for answers on r</span><span style="font-family: "arial";">eligious studies, books about relationship between parent and child, or even romance, I even consult with psychologists and psychiatrist. And there was one conclusion that I have taken, that perhaps in 2014, it wasn't that I was unhappy with you, but <b>I was unhappy because I was failed in making you happy</b>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Since you remarried with my sister's father's and abandoned, I observed that there was a void in your heart. And as the eldest child who was named by one of His names, "Most Merciful", I unconsciously took your happiness as my life mission. I swallowed your criticism, your dissatisfaction towards me -- or even towards other people, as my personal failure. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Year after year, I tried various ways to make you happier, healthier, more caring about yourself (and little sister)... You're still continuing to make decisions without careful consideration in solving life's challenges, which most of them also, was not an easier option, as well as not in a more elegant way, </span><span style="font-family: "arial";">especially if I saw how you treat some people who have tried to help you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Last March, when I knew that you chose to return to that house, I finally gave up. There will be nothing I can do to change the situation. I have arrived at the lowest point of the feeling of failure to please you. I surrendered to Allah, because this problem is completely beyond my ability.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Thursday, July 9, 2020, I read a sentence in the book, <i>"In the end I'm sure, if I'm good enough, if I love her enough, if I do enough, I'll be able to win her heart and she will love me. It's like trying to melt an iceberg with a candle."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Of course, so many times in my life that I felt loved by you. I could never deny </span><span style="font-family: "arial";">everything you've done for me in my lifetime, and whatever I do won't be able to repay it. Currently I am waiting for the next phase of government employee test; I am trying to finish my first fiction book; I, alhamdulillah, still survive in Bali with a decent job. You have a very large contribution in raising me to be able to survive.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">However, a gap between our hearts has been built up for years. And unwittingly, based with experience with you, many times I tried to enter into a relationship with a man, and I tried to be happy and make him happy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Unfortunately the question haunted me - if I couldn't be happy with someone who gave birth to me, how can I be happy with a stranger, in this case my spouse later? <b>How can I make someone happy if they don't allow me to make them happy?</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">So the conclusion was too simple, maybe you don't know what happiness is. As you often asked, "Why pursue happiness?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Because Allah wants us to live happily, Ma.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Because Allah wants us to give the best for ourselves, the close circle, and the society.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Because Allah wants us to serve Him with the feeling of joy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><b>And because I would never make you happy if you don't allow yourself to be happy; I chose to leave.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Still from the same book, there is another sentence: <i>"And now I can let her go. I can stop trying. I can stop crying. I can stop hoping that anything will change. I can let her go. I'm not angry anymore, I'm just relieved. I can give up."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">I keep thinking about you, but now I am so much calmer. My feelings are more stable, because I don't need to hang myself on a string which easily changed -- and unpredictable. I can let you to be who you are, </span><span style="font-family: "arial";">without any expectation, without any desire, without any demand.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">I have chosen to be happy, when will you?</span></div>
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Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-45636356951161389122020-04-10T13:03:00.001+07:002020-04-10T13:14:23.559+07:005 Things I Have Took for Granted Before Coronavirus (Part 2)<div>
<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>For "5 Things I Have Took for Granted Before Coronavirus (Part 1)", <b>read <a href="https://bit.ly/2RsuOLs" target="_blank">here</a></b>.</i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><b style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;"><br /></b></span></div>
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<b>3. Sex Education</b></span><br />
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am sure I am not the only person who browsed, “is it safe to have sex during this Coronavirus times?”’ Hahahahaha. I was there in a restaurant, waiting for my takeaway food while I saw a couple smooched passionately in front of me. It actually made me cautious not only because I have been officially single for nine years (cough cough), but more of... I am not sure if this is the right thing to do in this situation.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">However, as I wrote on my Instagram post, exactly at times like this, we need more love and compassion. Most of us have been in touch with family and friends more frequently than ever, because we want to know how they are doing. ‘Good morning’ and ‘how are you’ are not just for courtesy but we really mean it. Long distance relationship and marriage gets harder yet we believe that we still have a hope.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For sex, it is a bit different case. If two people do it for pleasure, the Coronavirus bring more consciousness between them because there might be a chance to get infected… and if something worse happened, it could be too late to blame anyone. If two people do it for reproduction, will it be a wise decision as there are too many concerning things ahead? True that we cannot predict the future, but now we know that sex education should taught far more than just vagina and penis. Let’s examine all the consequences, as well as the risks.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<b style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">4. Sanitation</b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/Image%20by%20%3Ca%20href=%22https://pixabay.com/users/slavoljubovski-14965075/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=4818790%22%3EMartin%20Slavoljubovski%3C/a%3E%20from%20%3Ca%20href=%22https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=4818790%22%3EPixabay%3C/a%3E" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Image credit.</span></a></td></tr>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Grew up in one of the most humid cities in the world (I am exaggerating here), my frequency of taking shower was simply above normal people. This habit is carried away until now, and recently I smiled a bit when I read the suggestion from government to bath after going somewhere.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My best friend who has been always bring hand sanitizer and wipes everywhere long before this pandemic, were like, “where have you been, people?”<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For some people, clean flowing water and anti-bacterial soap are common parts of life. Some others have to accept the reddish rusty-smell water because the nearest water source is hidden below the coal mining mountain. I was once experienced it in my dad’s working site in South Kalimantan, which could only be reached by ten hours riding the four-wheel drive car from the closest airport. After eight days there, I became okay to flush my pee with some yellowish muddy water at a transit hotel in the middle of the jungle. So I think you can imagine how I reacted when we arrived at the capital city. I felt like soaking in a bathtub full of dollars like Uncle Scrooge McDuck (or as we Indonesians know as 'Paman Gober). :))</span></span></div>
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<a name='more'></a><b style="-webkit-text-stroke: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: justify;">5. Energy</b></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/Image%20by%20%3Ca%20href=%22https://pixabay.com/users/jplenio-7645255/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=3535435%22%3EMy%20pictures%20are%20CC0.%20When%20doing%20composings:%3C/a%3E%20from%20%3Ca%20href=%22https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=3535435%22%3EPixabay%3C/a%3E" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Image credit.</span></a></td></tr>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In one workshop in November 2019, the speaker discussed about how clarity in our life begins with understanding our values. If we keep applying the behaviour that inconsistent with the values we believe in, it slowly cultivates to be pain and stress. So how do we define these values? It’s as simple as how we spend our time, money, and energy.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What areas of your life are you the most in your element? Where are you always on time or take seriously? What others would notice about you if they observed you? Think about the motivations behind each actions. Those are the questions that became our homework.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I can see clearly now that I repeatedly projected my energy in wrong places. And no I am not talking about Tinder — although yes it was included — but more about the general activities. No matter what we feel about our workplace, our friends/dates, our family; we already chose to give our valuable energy for it.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In normal situation, we have the freedom to choose how we are going to spend our energy. Now that we are stuck without doing anything significant, we become more appreciative towards the energy we should have optimised. I hope, with the mindset in mind that energy is a bigger investment than just money, in the future I would not let myself trapped in a condition where I will get nothing for my growth.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Obviously, what I have written above are everything ideal. But life is never, ever, would be ideal. And with Coronavirus, we learn to accept this unideal setting and do whatever we can to make it closer to the ideal.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How? I remember when I was diagnosed with depression, I decided to just go with the flow. I was determined to live day by day and celebrate small wins. When I wake up and go sleep with excitement; when I choose healthy food rather than junk food; when I walk for thirty minutes; when I listen to my best friend’s problem rather than telling her about mine; when I fill up my Gratitude Journal.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Looking back, I could see that I have survived some tragedies in my life — some I did not imagine I could get through, yet here I am still breathing and alive. Alhamdulillah.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I wish you will find this ramblings soothing and calming your exhausted mind. I, myself, have my own “I cannot do this” moment. But I know, we’re all in this together; and this too, shall pass.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sending you virtual hugs from Bali,</span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Prima</span></span></div>
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<span class="s2" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">P.S.: please share <a href="https://bit.ly/SaveBaliDuringCorona" target="_blank">my #SaveBali fundraising project</a> to everybody you know! Thank you! xoxo</span></span></div>
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Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-42312518765241570862020-04-10T12:54:00.002+07:002020-04-10T13:10:06.760+07:005 Things I Have Took for Granted Before Coronavirus (Part 1)<div class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: justify;">
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“But actually, you don’t really get affected by this Coronavirus, right?”<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My writing mentor asked me in a video call on Tuesday evening, as she would give me some suggestions on what to do during this pandemic times. I am thinking for a few seconds, and I nodded in doubt.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am currently working as a Personal Assistant. While my boss’ business is basically not operating in this moment (she has some ventures in tourism field), she still asks me to come whenever possible, then we will arrange work matters for 4-5 hours a day. Being a businesswoman for years, she is trying to be in the regular busy state even if our movement is a lot limited these days.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So why do myself feel like tired all the time, even when my working hours has been cut to almost half - and supposedly allow me to rest more?<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One of the main reasons is, <i><b>I hate uncertainty</b>.</i></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I hate not knowing what I am facing, yet when I read more about the things that going on, I still hate it because I still don’t know when it will be quit.</span></i></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I was on Tinder last year, I was totally fine if I met a jerk. I know for sure things won’t be continued even if it’s just a friendship. However, when I found myself spending time with a “nice” guy who treated me like a princess but then suddenly ghosted me or blocked me, I feel suffocated.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“What did I do wrong? What should I do to make things get better?”</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And I could never find the answer.</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When the news about Coronavirus blown up in Indonesia in early March (we are always late, as usual), I was being grumpy for some days. Since February, I have imagined that I will spend Good Friday holiday shopping at Chatuchak Market, cruising on the Chaophraya river, and<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>riding the train for a day trip to Ayutthaya... I have planned the journey as a gift to myself because I have finished my novel draft. But all of the sudden, I decided to not going to the mall again, canceled my gym membership, and ended up crying in a weekend.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Fast forward to Silence Day which was extended, I prepared myself with pile of books, as well as loads of snacks and fruits. It was my first time celebrating Silence Day in Bali, and<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span>despite the fact that I was indeed amazed by the sky full of bright stars (my friend captured the milky way as you can see <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-LYPsWAgYg/" target="_blank">here</a>), I couldn’t even brace myself to stay in a hotel where there are too many people I don’t know.</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And after two days completely not going anywhere, I was glad that I still sane.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">“Prima, it was just two days! We’ve been in lockdown for more than ten days!”</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Relax, my European fellas. I cannot pretend that I know how you feel because I don’t. But, look. Since I decided to write this book in the second week of January, I have been particularly spending almost ninety percent of my spare time in my room. I have been so fed up with my day pyjamas and my home-working space, I even hate seeing my pantry until I bought some lavenders in the pot to spice it up a bit. It doesn’t work, the lavenders is now crawling to death as it complies my mental breakdown.</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Only on one of those days (we start to forget the days and dates I assume), when I tried to water my lavenders at my room terrace, I finally realised that there are some things I took for granted during the normal days. Correction, so many! And among those many, I chose five that, for me, most essentials. Let’s see if we have same thoughts about these things below:</span></span></div>
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<b><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1. </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Space</span></b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/Image%20by%20%3Ca%20href=%22https://pixabay.com/users/Pexels-2286921/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=1834327%22%3EPexels%3C/a%3E%20from%20%3Ca%20href=%22https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=1834327%22%3EPixabay%3C/a%3E" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Image credit.</span></a></td></tr>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Let’s say in general most work force in my age works at office, or in a co-working space. When we think about ‘space’, we think about our bedroom, or if you are lucky enough to afford a house in this age then congratulations, as our charging station. We are not supposed to spend all day long there, because what we do to charge our mental is anything else than work. Now that we are forced to stay in between these four walls for more than our rest time, we become bored and stressful.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So these days, I clean up my room more often than usual, because I HAVE TO spend almost 24 hours here. It makes me feel better, even if just a bit, because I feel like I have done a responsible job to take care of myself. And finally, after one book, a fundraising project on the run, and administrative works from office that can be done remotely, I am being more grateful for this space. Evidently, my definition of ‘space’ can be altered to a place where I can be productive.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I also wasn’t aware how much I crave for emotional space until I heard my married friends being overwhelmed with their spouse or their kids being #stayathome all the time. For you who are in a relationship, please understand that the discussion about personal space is not taboo. It’s about being respectful yet still maintaining the meaningful interaction. This Coronavirus moment reminded me on how I demanded my own bedroom to my mom when I graduated from bachelor and had to return to her house. Human have a constant need of personal space, there is nothing wrong with that, and I hope this time make us regard others’ space too.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<b><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2. </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Financial Literacy</span></b><br />
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I started my <a href="https://bit.ly/SaveBaliDuringCorona" target="_blank">#SaveBali fundraising project</a>, someone commented, “isn’t it the right time for those people (the prospective beneficiaries) to use their savings?”</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I whispered, “IF they have savings — and I don’t even have mine!”</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But guys, really. Financial literacy has becoming hot topic, and if you are following it, you are fortunate enough, unlike seventy percent of informal workers in Indonesia, and maybe the rest twenty percent of workers like me. At least, we understand the value of money — more than merely the knowledge to save some money for ‘emergency purpose’.</span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The implications of this knowledge is beyond than how much income we earn every month. We live with vision in mind, so that we don’t spend all of it in one day. We separate it to some stations: bills, charity, pleasure, and so on. Most important thing, we see the choices of how to make the expense worth; and we hold this control. Especially in these difficult times, we are more mindful on how to prioritise what to buy (and what not).<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-converted-space"><i>to be continued...</i></span></span></span></div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-60589947832190379252020-01-04T14:54:00.003+07:002020-01-22T09:05:44.786+07:00Book Review: Traveling Aja Dulu! - Olivia Dianina<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>Website Traveling Aja Dulu!: <a href="https://www.travelingajadulu.com/">https://www.travelingajadulu.com/</a></b></div>
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It’s funny to see the way universe works to make your dream comes true. Ketika saya menerima buku <a href="https://www.instagram.com/traveling.aja.dulu/" target="_blank">Traveling Aja Dulu!</a> dari <a href="https://www.instagram.com/odianina/" target="_blank">Olivia Dianina</a>, saya punya banyak pemikiran skeptis di benak saya. Sudah lima tahun sejak terakhir kali saya menjejak terminal keberangkatan internasional di bandara. Paspor saya yang hampir memasuki masa kadaluwarsa tergeletak menyedihkan di dalam sebuah tas bersamaan dengan dokumen-dokumen berharga lainnya. Sebentar lagi saya harus bersiap untuk membuat paspor baru meskipun juga belum tahu hendak kemana, kapan, dengan siapa, berbuat apa, dan sebagainya.</div>
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Satu bulan kemudian, saya duduk di seat 38B pesawat KLM menuju Singapura. Untuk merayakan tahun baru bersama bos dan rekan kerja (yang baru). </div>
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<b>As crazy and cliche as it sounds, dream CAN comes true. </b></div>
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Satu hal yang membuat saya semakin merinding saat menuliskan blog post ini adalah, untuk melakukan perjalanan ke Singapura kemarin, saya tidak perlu mengeluarkan uang sama sekali! Sebagaimana cerita Olivia yang kebanyakan perjalanannya di-cover oleh studi dan pekerjaan, saya jadi semakin yakin untuk bermimpi, bermimpi, bermimpi setinggi mungkin - dan izinkan Tuhan membimbing kita menuju jalan untuk mewujudkan mimpi tersebut. </div>
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Saya mengenal Olivia di sebuah event bertajuk <a href="https://limitlessnomads.com/bali/" target="_blank">Nomads for Change</a> di Ubud. Sejak pertama berjabat tangan, saya tahu kami akan berteman baik. Sosoknya yang inspiratif, penuh semangat dan optimisme, membuat saya betah berlama-lama berdiskusi dengannya. Dari mulai gelora asmara yang jenaka, hingga isu-isu sosial yang membuat hidup lebih bermakna. </div>
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Maka saya berbangga ketika ia memilih saya untuk membaca bukunya yang memuat segala pengalaman traveling-nya. Belakangan saya tahu dari buku ini, bahwa Olivia mendapatkan empat beasiswa luar negeri dari mulai kuliah kuliah S-2 di Australia, hingga kursus tentang kebudayaan dan lingkungan di Jepang. Dengan demikian, apa yang ia bagikan di buku ini lebih dari sekadar tentang senang-senang. </div>
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<i>Itulah sebabnya saya memilih jalur edukasi sebagai kendaraan awal agar bisa traveling ke luar negeri. Dengan jalur itu, saya tidak perlu keluar modal besar dan bisa sejalan dengan harapan orangtua. Bonusnya, saya bisa ikut kegiatan yang akan membantu karier saya di masa depan. Berkat konferensi-lah saya bisa traveling ke luar negeri untuk pertama kali. </i></div>
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Gara-gara baca buku ini, saya jadi ingat kalau pertama kali saya ke luar negeri juga bukan karena jalan-jalan semata. Tahun 2002, saya mengikuti World Scout Jamboree di Thailand, mewakili Provinsi Jawa Timur. Sepulang dari sana, saya ikut tour group untuk menyambangi Kuala Lumpur dan Singapura. Baru 16 tahun kemudian, saya bisa mengunjungi Singapura lagi (kalau Kuala Lumpur terakhir tahun 2014). </div>
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<i style="text-align: justify;">Traveling membuat saya terhindar menjadi “katak dalam tempurung” atau orang yang sama sekali tak tahu-menahu perspektif orang lain dan merasa paling benar sendiri. </i><br />
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Olivia mengawali buku ini dengan pertanyaan <b>"Why You Should Travel"</b>, dan ia merefleksikan pertanyaan tersebut ke dalam dirinya dengan sangat baik, salah satunya dengan jawaban di atas. Saya pribadi setuju dengan pendapatnya, karena traveling menyadarkan saya bahwa ada hal-hal di luar ‘dunia saya’ yang patut saya pelajari dan dalami. Dengan mengenali budaya dan kebiasaan hidup orang dari negara lain, saya berharap sifat empati saya semakin tumbuh dan tidak menjadi orang yang “ngototan”.</div>
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Olivia juga menyatakan bahwa traveling membuat dirinya lebih siap dan sigap dalam menghadapi masalah. Oh, tentu saja, Pemirsa! Jauh berbeda saat kamu berada di daerahmu sendiri, segalanya hampir dapat dipastikan lebih mudah. Tetapi saat kita bepergian ke tempat yang sama sekali asing, kita akan lebih kreatif - dari mulai merencanakan waktu kita agar lebih efektif, membaca peta dan memilih moda transportasi, hingga menghitung anggaran dan menghemat pengeluaran. Belum lagi kalau ada masalah yang terjadi di lapangan seperti ketinggalan pesawat (Olivia pun pernah, dan saya terbahak-bahak membacanya - cek halaman 115!), atau kehilangan barang berharga. Kalau bisa ya jangan sampai mengalami hal tersebut sih, tetapi kalau sudah kejadian.. Mau apa lagi? Masa bisa hanya merutuki nasib? Keep moving forward, especially when you are in ‘expensive’ continent like Europe, waktu benar-benar adalah uang!</div>
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<i>A human can’t take too much rejection at the same time, tapi saya percaya kegigihan akan menghasilkan buah manis. </i></div>
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Seperti saya singgung sedikit di atas, Olivia gemar mencari peluang untuk bisa bepergian ke luar negeri secara gratis. Di samping kuliah, Olivia juga kerap pergi ke luar negeri dengan tujuan mewakili Indonesia untuk konferensi internasional, sebagai contoh: Kanada, Cina, Vietnam, dan Amerika Serikat. Tak lupa, Olivia menjadi relawan - tidak tanggung-tanggung, di Kolombia!</div>
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<b>Inilah mengapa saya merekomendasikan kamu, terutama yang sedang berada di bangku kuliah, untuk membaca buku ini. Bermodalkan mata yang cermat, persiapan yang cerdik, dan manajemen waktu yang optimal, kamu bisa mengikuti jejak Olivia ke berbagai belahan dunia dengan GRATIS! </b></div>
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Barang tentu tidak ada sesuatu terjadi begitu saja. Beruntung saya mengenal Olivia secara pribadi, saya tahu bahwa apa yang ia dapatkan bukanlah rezeki nomplok. She works hard for that, and so I second what she said above. Tak terbayang berapa banyak penolakan yang sudah ia terima, tetapi ia maju terus, and look at her now. </div>
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Nah, don’t worry! Olivia sangat murah hati dalam memberikan tips dan trik, terutama persiapan traveling bagi yang baru pertama kali ke luar negeri atau bahkan bepergian dengan pesawat. Cara bikin paspor, sampai packing efisien - diulas di buku ini. Saya pun sudah menyematkan pembatas pada bahasan tentang pembuatan visa - yaaa siapa tahu saya berkesempatan menyambangi Eropa dalam waktu dekat? Aamiin!</div>
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<i>Sebelum mengucapkan selamat tinggal, saya sempat bertanya kepada Simon, how do you know how to trust a person you don’t know? Saya penasaran bagaimana mungkin dia bisa mudah percaya dengan orang asing selama traveling. </i></div>
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<i>“You can just tell by the eyes”, jawabnya singkat.</i></div>
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Okay, cukup tentang hal-hal teknis. Bukankah yang ditunggu-tunggu adalah pengalaman Olivia ke negara-negara yang unik, tentunya dengan kejadian-kejadian yang unik pula? Bab 10 terdiri dari tiga sub-bab: Tiga Minggu Solo Travelling ke Empat Negara di Eropa Tengah dan Timur; Tiga Bulan Keliling Dunia Sendirian; dan Tiga Minggu Mengarungi Tujuh Negara Eropa. Bikin ngiler banget!</div>
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Beberapa cerita yang menurut saya paling menarik adalah <b>Belajar Ilmu Lingkungan di Amerika Serikat</b> dan <b>Meneliti di Atap Dunia: Kathmandu, Nepal</b>, walaupun cerita-cerita lain tak kalah seru, seperti saat Olivia berada di Kolombia (saya jadi penasaran ingin mengulik Amerika Selatan). Mengenal Olivia yang ceria dan terbuka dalam berinteraksi dengan orang lain, saya membalik halaman demi halaman sembari tersenyum. Utamanya tempat menginap dan teman berpetualang, Olivia tak mengalami kesulitan dalam hal keduanya selama melakukan perjalanan ke berbagai negara. Seperti saat ia mampir ke Amsterdam, Belanda dan menginap di rumah sepasang digital nomad yang ia temui saat tinggal di Kolombia (Kolombia lagi, Kolombia lagi). Atau ketika Olivia mengunjungi Zurich, Swiss, ia diajak berkeliling oleh warga lokal, bahkan berenang dan makan di tepi sungai. Begitulah, jika kamu berangkat dengan niat yang tulus, akan selalu ada keramahan sepanjang jalan.</div>
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Menyimak persahabatan yang terjadi di antara Olivia dan traveler lainnya yang ia temui, membuat hati saya hangat….. dan tak sabar untuk melakukan perjalanan saya sendiri. </div>
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<b>Kesimpulannya, buku Traveling Aja Dulu! ini merupakan salah satu buku “guideline” tentang traveling paling lengkap, yang menurut saya, ditujukan untuk para traveler pemula. </b>Why so? Karena Olivia menuliskannya dengan alami, termasuk segala keriangan dan ‘kebodohan’ yang ia lakukan layaknya manusia biasa. Maksud saya, ia tidak bermaksud untuk menggurui dan sok teu sama sekali. Justru kita bisa belajar dari kesalahan-kesalahan yang ia lakukan - dan jangan takut saat menghadapi tantangan, karena dari situ, mungkin kita akan merasakan kejadian tak terlupakan. Sebagai contoh, saat Olivia terjebak dalam situasi mati lampu di Nepal, yang kemudian justru mengubah pandangannya terhadap orang asing. </div>
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I can tell you a lot more things about what’s inside the book, but really, karena buku ini sangat padat dan kaya rasanya enggak akan rugi untuk membeli dan menyimpan buku ini di rak buku. You can always read again the chapters as you need. So, for more information about the book, you can check <a href="https://www.instagram.com/traveling.aja.dulu/" target="_blank">this Instagram</a>, and also <a href="https://www.instagram.com/odianina/" target="_blank">Olivia’ Instagram</a>. Happy reading!</div>
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For the love of traveling,</div>
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Prima</div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-15601896336849487972019-12-29T08:36:00.001+07:002019-12-29T08:45:33.305+07:002019 Year in Review: It’s The Climb<div style="text-align: justify;">
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One of my best friends is a super strong woman (and right now when I am writing this, I realized that I am surrounded by a lot of powerful women). I can count by one hand how many times she shared her sadness or any life challenges she faces on social media. She always looks “happy”, although I am sure deep down inside she is crushed. </div>
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I, actually wanted to learn from her. </div>
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But I cannot. </div>
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I always believe that I write to share. I hope my writings make someone who might be far away from me, can realize that he/she is not alone. His/her feelings are valid, and although the world seems against him/her, there is still a hope.</div>
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However, this year is one of the shittiest years in my life, like ever. One day I feel like I am the poorest human in the world – like literally. One day I feel like I lost everything in life, even my dignity. This year I had so many suicidal thoughts because I am afraid of what will come next, and I know that I didn’t take care of myself well. I seek pleasure in places or things I’ve never imagined myself will involve to. I ran far away from God because I was disappointed often. I just don’t know who I was anymore. </div>
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But this post is not about that. This post is about me, trying to rise up from the underground. This post is about me, even when it’s really really hard, trying to see the positive side of life; or simply what kind of lessons I have learned throughout the year. For once, as I also don’t want to go back and reminisce all those stupidities that I have done, I will try to write my Year in Review in a different way. I have set the intention to write this post as a way to be grateful for every little thing that has happened. I hope it will help me to start the new year with a lot more positive thoughts, and so let’s start from the biggest event of this year… </div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">1.<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I fell in love (and lost love)</span></b></div>
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After so many years being a single woman, I am finally proud to say that earlier this year I have loved again. I can’t remember when was the last time I love a guy this much, maybe in 2014-2015 but anyway, for this guy I gave my world. I went back and forth to Jakarta in July and December 2018 just to see him – and again in January 2019, only to realize later on that it was an unrequited love.</div>
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People could say behind me that I should have known since the beginning that he was only considered me as his good friend, and I was too blind to see. But after years, even my mom and my dad could see that I have sparks in my eyes when I think or talk about him. I became serious in considering to get married soon (which I might rarely do for the last eight years), and I was willing to do anything for him. </div>
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Months after, I recognized something, that I should not regret my “decision” to love him because after all he treated me right. The situation could be a lot worse as he knew that I was so into him, but he rarely took any advantage “except” my time. LOL. Now I can laugh to see that what he did to me was far better than what guys on Tinder did to me. </div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">2.<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I use Tinder – and get a lot of important lessons in exchange</span></b></div>
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"Why are you on Tinder? Are you lonely?"<br />
At first, that thought crossed my mind. Maybe the decision to install it earlier this year was indeed an escape from - what I think - my pathetic love story(/ies). But then I met some guys who become my new best friends without any romantic tendency at all; some challenge me intellectually - and even physically, texting "how was your workout this week?" every weekend I almost feel he is my personal trainer (ha!); some helped me to shape my ideal future partner. Some... support me mentally and emotionally until I found myself.<br />
So I said, "I am learning. About people behavior. About my strength, weakness, opportunities and threat so I can market myself better (...). I learn that everybody has his/her own preferences and I cannot force people to like me and I cannot demand them to be happy (with me) even if I already give them my time, heart, or anything I thought they need/want. I learn to say no and hold my principles strongly. I learn to manage my expectations and let go. I learn that nothing lasts forever and all we can do is to embrace the togetherness that we have. I learn to be stronger. I learn... that it is totally okay to be alone - and turned out (as I always knew), I really enjoy solitude."<br />
Of course some left notable marks in my life. For them, I created a special space in my heart no others could ever fill. For them, you might find me whispering to the wind that I miss them badly, or you might find me praying that one day our path will cross again. But until that day, I will always move forward.</blockquote>
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I wrote this on 5 September, but I wasn’t ready to share it “officially” to the world. Most of us are now on Tinder or any kind of online dating apps for various reasons, including my younger sister and brother (hahahahaha), some friends whom I thought very pious, and etc. It’s not our duty to judge them because from my perspective (I am not trying to defend myself), sometimes the friendship that created from there can be amazing and it will be a bit impossible to find in real life ‘just like that’. </div>
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Although, to be honest, in early months I got shocked with this new type of “friendship” I even need to see a relationship coach. This experience also exposed me with another thing: I dig the matter of the relationship with my parents deeper and comprehended that genuinely I can do so much better than this. </div>
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The conclusion of point one and two, I am willing – and hoping – to have a more stable relationship next year. I think I am done with “the adventure”, and I will be more careful in giving my time and energy for only limited number of people (which hopefully will be worthy). </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>3.<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I came out of my shell and found meaningful friendships</b></span></div>
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If last year became more like “testing the water” for me and my life in Ubud, this year I found myself attending more social events – I even spoke at <a href="https://modernwomanfestival.com/" target="_blank">Modern Woman Festival</a>! In contrary with what I believe in as I becoming more and more introvert, I am happy to see that I could get along with various type of people. </div>
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Creative Speaking at <a href="https://www.instagram.com/hustlersvilla/" target="_blank">Hustlers Villa</a> is one of my to-do lists every Sunday, not only it helps improving my English-speaking skill – but I also met lovely people who encouraged me to be a better person in so many ways. Assia, Paul, Mandelynn, and Dina, were only a few from so many beautiful souls I had interacted with. </div>
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In the other side, sadly I didn’t teach Quran as much as last year, but I have taught two kids in Denpasar for maybe the last five months. From a-ba-ta to memorize Al-Ikhlas and short prayers, I am over the moon that I am still pretty much connected with my spiritual side even in the darkest moments. Alhamdulillah. </div>
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Writing down point three, deep inside my heart I realized I don’t need Tinder anymore to get a new friend. I hope it’s only a matter of time until I will delete it forever. </div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">4.<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Transforming my dreams have been so scary… but turned out becomes challenging and fun!</span></b></div>
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I know I write less and less for the last couple years, although I still worked for <a href="https://www.tripzilla.id/author/prima" target="_blank">TripZilla</a> for around four months. Generally I feel I was not really productive this year because I mourned (and dated) a lot! However, in the beginning of this year, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/muslimahsinau/" target="_blank">Muslimah Sinau</a> held an event called A Day Full of Inspiration. It was a blast for me personally no matter how ‘big’ the result was. </div>
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Additionally, I joined <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B18y2M7nZeh/" target="_blank">Doing Good Challenge! held by Indorelawan and Wardah</a>. I aimed to be the finalist as I want to learn more about social business and expose my idea to the public. Me and my partner, Mutia Zakia Salma, did research day and night, and we became one of the semi-finalist! The feeling was so good, we decided to grab Titasya Anugraheni to be one of our team members and planned to launch this idea as ‘a real business’ in January 2020. </div>
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Only life has its own path and universe has its own scenario. My mom experienced a huge financial trouble and I need to rewrite my priorities. Devastated does not even have any meaning anymore to me, my heart has been numb at this point but once again, she IS my mom. In my last breath, I begged to Allah to give me a new job that paid me well so I can help my mom more…</div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">5.<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>You never know how your prayers will be answered</span></b></div>
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For me it came in a form of a Facebook post. Someone needs a translator who can assist her in business meetings (that’s what the post said). I called the number, I met this businesswoman from Poland, and two months after, now I am waiting for my taxi that will bring me to the airport for my flight to Singapore. Yesterday I trembled in my chair when she sent me the airline booking code, even this morning when I exchanged my money I still can’t believe that my employer will take me to Singapore only after one month working.</div>
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Sounds like too good to be true – I KNOW – but LIFE IS LIFE. It exposed you with sorrow, but also bring you to opportunities, once in a while, amazing one yet still you have to work your a** off. As cliché as it sounds, in three weeks I worked with Bu Agnes, I got out of my comfort zone, learned things I never thought I would need to know (talking about regulationsss in Indonesia), and came home after dawn. It’s not just about the material fulfillment, but she provides me with resources I would need for my business in the future. And she opens to give me support as many as I need! I am not sure I deserve it, but I am confident that all of my life experiences in the past has prepared me for this.</div>
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Fiuh. I don’t think I need to explain of why I used “The Climb” as the title of this Year in Review. In fact, I am still climbing because I want to aim higher – in terms of spiritually, mentally, financially, and last (but also one of the most important things), physically. I still have to work veeery hard for everything, but at the end of the year, I am relieved that I survived – and I am sure, next year will be thrilled! </div>
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So much hugs,</div>
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Prima </div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-73717500914693983202019-08-30T14:39:00.002+07:002019-08-30T14:39:38.137+07:00Toxic<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>“…sometimes you’re the one something it’s happening to and other times you’re the one it’s happening through.” – Maryam Hasnaa</i></div>
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One of these days, I checked my old diaries and blog posts, then I realized that my biggest achievement is not chosen as one of the finalists of World Muslimah Award; obtained scholarship from SYLFF for my Master Degree; contributed in a world-class literature festival; self-published a book; or maintained an Instagram account from zero to 1,000 followers. </div>
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My biggest achievement is… to stay alive. </div>
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I know it sounds shallow at one point, as I do believe that every single person in this planet has his/her own problem. But often, right at the time it came to you like a storm, you just… tired of life. </div>
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This year is another year that I have to keep telling myself that everything is going to be okay. If it is not happening today, it will happen tomorrow. But ‘that’ tomorrow is not coming (yet), even when there are only four months left in 2019. </div>
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I became paranoid, as if life wouldn’t let me smiling all day long. If I start a day smiling, there will be something occurred in the afternoon or right before I sleep. If I sleep smiling, I will have a nightmare. Life has crushed me like an avocado in a juicer. Shapeless, almost heartless.</div>
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Day by day, I started feeling numb. I act recklessly, because I think at the end of the day nobody is safe enough from anything bad. I wish I could say that I still believe in karma, but I know karma doesn’t always work the way we want to. </div>
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I smiled, I laughed, I frowned, I cried… but deep in my heart I know those emotions are not make sense. I was happy for the ‘wrong’ reasons, and I was sad for the ‘right’ reasons. From time to time, I feel like my soul is leaving my body and I am watching it from afar, make fun of things I do. ‘Look, she is doing something stupid again. What a naïve girl!’ Thereafter a new day arrived, and I wait what kind of stupidity or craziness I will do (or repeat). </div>
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And I feel like I lost the last pieces of me, the one that usually I count on to – it just simply torn apart.</div>
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I am damaged.</div>
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I am useless.</div>
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My motivation just evaporated among the people I met and the privilege they have and their success stories and how life seems very easy for them and how life seems very very very difficult for me. Period. No matter how many times I try to pick myself up, I ended up believing that… </div>
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I must be the unluckiest person in the world. </div>
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Only when I am sober enough, I can recollect the puzzles and I became aware that sometimes it is not just about myself. As the quote above said, life has been taught me so much I become confused on which one is the lesson I have to absorb on my own and which one is not actually for me – but for people around me.</div>
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What happened for the last two weeks is definitely another new beginning for me. At first, it seems like there is no solutions so I intensified the frequency of talking to myself. What do I want? What do I don’t want? Revealing the problems to my friends were also challenging and I pick them carefully because I need someone who knows the background of the story. </div>
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So I said to my best friends, I am not going back to Surabaya. After leaving the city in the end of 2014, I have sworn to never look back. There is no way that I would coming back to that kind of life. I deserve to [not only be happier] but also accepting the consequences of my choice. And, I wouldn’t let this toxic person who has suppressed me for more than 23 years – to take an ‘advantage’ of getting my help again and again. It is not a revenge, it is self-love, a thing that I have been learning laboriously and costed me a lifetime. I wouldn’t harm my future by going down that road again, the one that worth my sanity. </div>
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I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, next month, or next year – but I know one thing for sure, to live with her under the same roof – again – will demolish what I am trying to build. And I know I don’t want to risk – even the hard life I am having which is for me, is still good enough than what she can offer. Worse, both of us know she doesn’t have anything to offer.</div>
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I have been always trying so hard – or maybe too hard – to be a good daughter for her. And all of my unanswerable questions to her returning to me, pinching me all over my body, and confiscating my mental health. I should have let her go years ago. </div>
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And I am finally doing it today. </div>
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Good bye,</div>
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Dita</div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-37059907930277897432019-08-02T16:13:00.004+07:002019-08-03T12:05:39.147+07:00Ubud 101: Panduan Wisata Ubud Paling Lengkap (Bagian 2) – Makanan Halal, Penginapan Hemat, dan Transportasi<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: yellow;">Baca dulu: <a href="https://theprimadita.blogspot.com/2019/08/ubud-101-panduan-wisata-ubud-paling.html" target="_blank">Ubud 101: Panduan Wisata Ubud Paling Lengkap (Bagian 1) – Aktivitas dan Spot Foto Paling Kece</a></span><br />
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Kembali lagi dalam ulasan wisata Ubud bersama saya yang sudah tinggal di Ubud selama setahun tapi merasa masih belum kenal-kenal amat sama daerah ini, hehehe. <i>As I wrote this blog post, I asked around to my expat colleagues because I believe they also have their own ‘unique’ experiences with Ubud. One office mate said that Ubud is about food and café, like it’s one of the best place to do café-hopping in Bali or even if you want to try local culinary (with ‘bule’-kind of style restaurant [and of course the price]). Another said that Ubud is about nice accommodation where you don’t feel like you want to be out all day long because just like I wrote in the first part, there isn’t much things to do/see in Ubud.</i> Cocok banget sama bahasan bagian kali ini, karena saya akan mengulik wisata Ubud dari sisi makanan halal dan akomodasi murah di Ubud (serta hal-hal lain juga).<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Pilihan Makanan Halal di Ubud</i></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjy8F8Ze72KGRkaX1bq5FJemdTZM9181wP24O-mfhzUsTzw11nVh8b9Go8obTqWMkqnS3pM6Gl43rcOHYnVP9Y8aVLs8UQRiSIJX5H04d8pfpCzyHzQO4JD8sv8JNtIebnbVRzZxqg5o9n/s1600/wisata+ubud+kuliner+ubud.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="800" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjy8F8Ze72KGRkaX1bq5FJemdTZM9181wP24O-mfhzUsTzw11nVh8b9Go8obTqWMkqnS3pM6Gl43rcOHYnVP9Y8aVLs8UQRiSIJX5H04d8pfpCzyHzQO4JD8sv8JNtIebnbVRzZxqg5o9n/s640/wisata+ubud+kuliner+ubud.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image credit: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Beb8xM3llsF/" target="_blank">@stasiadelimarta</a> (kiri), <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BgTbE8-gUSu/" target="_blank">@nomadlife.io</a> (kanan) </td></tr>
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Tenang Pemirsa, makanan halal mudah sekali ditemukan di Ubud. Kalau mau murah meriah layaknya di Jawa, bisa mengunjungi <b>Sayan Night Market</b>. Tapi kalau mau yang penting halal dengan harga lumayan ‘normal’ seperti 25,000-30,000 IDR per porsi, berikut beberapa favorit saya:<br />
<ul>
<li>Warung Barokah Surabaya “Pak Kumis” dekat Patung Arjuna Peliatan, pastikan kamu tanya harga makanannya terlebih dahulu – penjualnya kerap memberikan harga ‘suka-suka’.</li>
<li>Warung Ijo dekat Pasar Ubud, tapi saya terakhir ke sini tahun 2017, haha. Menunya lebih ke masakan warteg dengan berbagai sayur dan lauk (tapi enak kok).</li>
<li>Warung Borneo “8” dekat Kantor Pos Ubud, favorit saya: <i>all thing</i> kwetiau dan sapo tahu.</li>
<li>Ayam Goreng Asli Prambanan, tapi saya lebih suka ayam bakar terus minta kremes yang banyak.</li>
<li>Warung Igelanca, saya cuma sekali ke sini karena menurut saya <i>taste</i> masakan Warung Borneo “8” lebih enak.</li>
<li>Bakmie Arga di Peliatan: ‘pelipur lara’ kalau saya lagi pengin yamin atau mie ayam yang insyaAllah halal.</li>
<li>Tips tambahan: kalau mau cari makanan yang beneran murah, lebih baik ke arah Peliatan atau Desa MAS. Di sini banyak orang Jawa yang buka warung kaki lima, rumah makan Padang, ada juga Mie Aceh yang enak banget (di Jl. Raya Teges dekat SPBU dan Warung D’Ubud, tapi hanya buka pada malam hari).</li>
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Mau <i>lunch</i> atau <i>dinner</i> dengan <i>budget</i> ‘menengah’, yang bisa saya rekomendasikan:<br />
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<li>Bali Buda, ada label halal dan menunya banyak – dijamin bingung memilih, favorit saya: Chicken Curry Pita.</li>
<li>Halal Ubud Burger, tapi jujur saya kurang suka karena ‘<i>patty</i>’-nya agak kering.</li>
</ul>
Teman kantor kerap merekomendasikan Bubur Bali yang bisa dibeli di Pasar Ubud pada pagi hari, yang mana saya baru pernah mencoba satu kali saja. Terus sekarang saya bingung gimana mendeskripsikan buburnya, hihihi. Well, silakan cari sendiri ya. <br />
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Selebihnya, untuk makanan halal di Ubud kamu bisa pesan menu vegetarian atau vegan di berbagai restoran, dari mulai Alchemy, Clear Cafe, Warung Semesta, Sari Organik, Roti Daal, dan sebagainya (dengan harga mulai dari 75,000IDR per orang). Intinya jangan takut kelaparan atau jatuh miskin untuk keperluan logistik (perut) di Ubud, <i>there are hundreds of choices</i>!<br />
<i><br />Notes:</i> kebanyakan tempat makan di Ubud tutup pukul 21.30-22.30WITA (termasuk berbagai <i>coffee shop</i>), jadi usahakan kamu makan malam lebih awal kalau mau nongkrong agak lama. Saya sering banget ‘diusir’ dari restoran karena mereka mau tutup dan saya + teman-teman masih keasyikan ngobrol. :))<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Penginapan Di Bawah 250,000IDR</span></i></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfPRp3NjaaRoopvUIHwlLoLLmj-l7agtFRZeinqvOTjkUOuPQmcDgUrxPuRo6dfEtKaf681VpbP4j7LCr0nJJBWQjt4Q5VfQ0zL_8QG_3cA2-UnWyKPvHtHsrM2LhzPZXlZtOw465oATCy/s1600/wisata+ubud+_+ubud+tropical+c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="800" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfPRp3NjaaRoopvUIHwlLoLLmj-l7agtFRZeinqvOTjkUOuPQmcDgUrxPuRo6dfEtKaf681VpbP4j7LCr0nJJBWQjt4Q5VfQ0zL_8QG_3cA2-UnWyKPvHtHsrM2LhzPZXlZtOw465oATCy/s640/wisata+ubud+_+ubud+tropical+c.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image credit: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/ubudtropical/" target="_blank">@ubudtropical</a></td></tr>
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Sebagaimana saran dari teman kantor yang lain, kalau memang kamu ingin menghabiskan waktu di Ubud untuk beristirahat, <i>refreshing</i>, atau <i>have high-quality time with your beloved one/friend</i>; lebih baik investasikan anggaran lebih untuk mendapatkan akomodasi yang (baik). Dalam artian, yang memuaskan jiwa dan raga. Kalau saya pribadi pasti cari tempat yang agak sepi, sedikit jauh dari Sentral Ubud enggak apa-apa asal bisa tidur nyenyak. <i>Recommended areas</i>: Jalan Bisma, Jalan Kajeng, dan Jalan Sandat.<br />
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Tapi, kalau memang mau cari penginapan murah di Ubud, tenang – BUANYAK BUANGET. Ya asal murah aja yang jadi faktor utama, kalau mau cari fasilitas atau <i>view</i> ya, lain cerita. Tapi ada deng, penginapan murah meriah dengan pemandangan oke dan fasilitas lumayan….. nginep di hostel atau <i>dorm</i> aja, Pemirsa. Berikut ini saya beri beberapa pilihan berdasarkan harga:<br />
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<b>1. <i>Dormitory</i> 100,000IDR (atau lebih murah!):</b><br />
<ul>
<li>In Da Lodge, Jl. Raya Ubud: dekat Campuhan Ridge.</li>
<li>Ubud Tropical, Jl. Andong: sukaaa! Kolam renangnya mantap, Pemirsa!</li>
<li>Gusti Backpacker House, Jl. Hanoman: suasananya nyaman, ACnya dingin, dan dekat dengan Sentral Ubud.</li>
<li>The Style Hostel Ubud, Jl. Hanoman: ini nih, kalau kamu ke Ubud (minimal) ber-5 atau bahkan ber-10 mau nginep di satu kamar, ke sini deh. <i>Notes</i>: The Style ini agak tidak terurus tapi ada satu kamar super besar dengan sekitar 20-an kasur. Harga untuk WNI hanya 50,000IDR/malam/orang!</li>
<li>Bali Backpackers Hostel: waktu saya menginap di sini tahun lalu, ACnya kurang dingin tapi ada <i>dormitory</i> perempuan dan secara umum cukup bersih.</li>
<li>Dewa Hostel, Jl. Monkey Forest: <i>overall</i> lumayan tapi kamarnya kecil, kamar mandinya cuma satu, dan campur laki-laki & perempuan. </li>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8RHF5DZcxwLVq8LfaKf831tvsxBCMe-3A8Wwvw3oMtJdMPJdS8vYifJ1wS2Rf3VyfkEyWVNuHdCUJHoJb14HjUVGa9NpNIoBVAijGbuX8bMU1f1dWpin3lsCPLDo-AHBJVRQyL_hAU0mQ/s1600/wisata+ubud+_+cahaya+intan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="683" data-original-width="1024" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8RHF5DZcxwLVq8LfaKf831tvsxBCMe-3A8Wwvw3oMtJdMPJdS8vYifJ1wS2Rf3VyfkEyWVNuHdCUJHoJb14HjUVGa9NpNIoBVAijGbuX8bMU1f1dWpin3lsCPLDo-AHBJVRQyL_hAU0mQ/s640/wisata+ubud+_+cahaya+intan.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cahaya Intan Villa, Image credit: <a href="https://www.booking.com/hotel/id/cahaya-intan-villa-ubud.id.html" target="_blank">Booking.com</a></td></tr>
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<b>2. <i>Homestay</i> Sekitar 250,000IDR:</b><br />
<ul>
<li>Arjuna Homestay, Jl. Arjuna</li>
<li>Suarsena Bungalows, Jl. Arjuna</li>
<li>Nyuh Gading Accommodation, Jl. Monkey Forest</li>
<li>Suastika Lodge, Jl. Sukma Kesuma: pas banget buat yang ingin menyepi. Agak sulit ditemukan, tapi di dekatnya ada beragam tempat makan.</li>
<li>Cahaya Intan Villa, Jl. Sanggingan: saya suka karena hanya ada beberapa kamar dan bentuknya paviliun terpisah yang masing-masing terdiri dari dua lantai (setahu saya hanya ada 3-4 paviliun dengan 1 kolam renang bersama). Ada dapur di lantai bawah dan kamar tidur + kamar mandi di atas. Kalau mau menginap sama keluarga atau manteman, vila ini cocok banget (tapi harga di atas adalah harga perkiraan per kamar ya).</li>
</ul>
Selebihnya silakan <i>browsing</i> di <i>website-website</i> ternama… Enggak hafal, euy. Yang di atas ini setidaknya saya pernah lihat sendiri tempatnya…<br />
<i><span style="font-size: large;"><br />Transportasi</span></i></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj615LQOjILIyBDA1VaqfYqMRt6ryQzekwKfEojRLj2gHINFtDtMU7pdKH-Gm8UvRPm4DTu6UVXp48P2TBdSEcMELaJWQmvRpVC5bgYfwEaT4DS41AgAJq-fSh8XAPAmRS6mec3upoABmvT/s1600/wisata+ubud+_+perama+shuttle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1000" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj615LQOjILIyBDA1VaqfYqMRt6ryQzekwKfEojRLj2gHINFtDtMU7pdKH-Gm8UvRPm4DTu6UVXp48P2TBdSEcMELaJWQmvRpVC5bgYfwEaT4DS41AgAJq-fSh8XAPAmRS6mec3upoABmvT/s640/wisata+ubud+_+perama+shuttle.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image credit: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq_6z_QgbFy/" target="_blank">@peramatour</a></td></tr>
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Jangan khawatir kalau kelean mau mengeskplorasi wisata Ubud tapi takut kepentok sama harga taksi bandara yang tidak kira-kira mahalnya (pesan taksi online bisa aja, saya sering melakukannya tapi tetap lumayan yha). Alternatif yang bisa saya sarankan adalah naik taksi ke <i>shuttle station</i>. Ada dua pilihan, yaitu Perama dan Kura-kura. Saya pernah beberapa kali pakai Perama, naik dari Legian; dan kalau dari Ubud ada yang langsung ke bandara. Praktis - dan Perama juga melayani rute-rute lain seperti ke Singaraja, Padangbai, dan Candidasa. Sesampainya di Ubud, cara berkeliling paling efisien adalah dengan menyewa motor. Tapi kalau enggak bisa menyetir motor, sebaiknya pilih penginapan di daerah yang dilewati oleh <i>free shuttle</i> dari Monkey Forest. Lumayan supaya kaki enggak gempor-gempor amat. <i>Notes: I have some trusted drivers and their price is kinda competitive than other drivers generally, DM me on Instagram if you need it.</i><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Masjid di Ubud</i></span><br />
Berhubung saya menulis <i>blog post</i> ini pada hari Jumat dan kebetulan sedang <i>chatting</i> dengan teman lelaki di Jakarta yang baru pulang Jumat-an, saya mau mengingatkan kalau ada masjid di Ubud, lho. Enggak ada alasan buat melewatkan salat Jumat saat berwisata ke Ubud karena tempatnya cukup representatif, bahkan saya pun berkesempatan untuk salat tarawih di sini pada Ramadan lalu. Oh ya, Halal Ubud Burger juga punya musala mini di lantai atas, <i>but most likely only the customers who can use this…</i><br />
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<b>Catat lokasinya:</b> Gedung Serba Guna Yayasan Ubudiyah (Ubudiyah Mosque)<br />
Jl. Cok Rai Pudak, Peliatan, Kecamatan Ubud, Kabupaten Gianyar, Bali 80571<br />
<a href="https://goo.gl/maps/S5yEq24xNanyxWbk8" target="_blank">Koordinat</a><br />
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InsyaAllah saya akan terus menambah wawasan tentang wisata Ubud, tapi rasanya untuk saat ini sudah cukup panjaaaaang. Sila tambah di komentar tentang hal-hal yang ingin kamu ketahui – atau sudah kamu alami, ingat untuk membagikan <i>blog post</i> ini ke teman/rekan/kerabat-mu, dan <i>follow</i> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/primaditarahma/" target="_blank">Instagram saya</a> untuk <i>more updates about my life</i> (<i>yeah, like it’s important but</i>... :p). <i>Thanks for reading</i>!!!<br />
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Lots of love,<br />
Prima</div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-38297238619036913092019-08-02T14:10:00.000+07:002019-08-03T12:03:14.273+07:00Ubud 101: Panduan Wisata Ubud Paling Lengkap (Bagian 1) – Aktivitas dan Spot Foto Paling Kece<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlu_5nlDor_bQcbWzr_DaN_jIQCdGjTf1gzCXiFK9hSd7VTw1sfRvkWPGhsSSQilHKwvmU4xWBSIWHBy_nMfduwaTr5BPsXKd1YdPzP4GyB6pSbDVoM7kBpy5USfq-iVVj4iDl8mfU5DIs/s1600/wisata+ubud+feature+image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="800" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlu_5nlDor_bQcbWzr_DaN_jIQCdGjTf1gzCXiFK9hSd7VTw1sfRvkWPGhsSSQilHKwvmU4xWBSIWHBy_nMfduwaTr5BPsXKd1YdPzP4GyB6pSbDVoM7kBpy5USfq-iVVj4iDl8mfU5DIs/s640/wisata+ubud+feature+image.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Image credit: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BlAeA0Ll3WN/" target="_blank">@andathousandwords</a> (kiri), <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BlaajfiHAw4/" target="_blank">@stephng4</a> (kanan)</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Disclaimer: <br />1. Hampir semua informasi yang tertera di blog post ini adalah berdasarkan pengalaman saya pribadi atau kenalan/teman – setiap pengalaman bisa berbeda tergantung situasi, kondisi, dan ekspektasi. <br />2. Saya tidak mendapatkan komisi apapun dari penyertaan informasi di sini (hahaha) – jadi kalau mau membantu perekonomian saya, boleh kasih proyek terjemahan Inggris-Indonesia (dan Indonesia-Inggris) atau copywriting/artikel. InsyaAllah layanan memuaskan dan harga bersahabat. :D</span><br />
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Satu tahun telah saya lewati di Ubud dengan segala asam-garamnya dari mulai fase ‘bulan madu’ yang super membahagiakan, hingga sekarang kalau bisa dibilang yaaaaa… gitu deh. Namanya juga kerja: ada deadline, ada tekanan, ada yang bikin emosi, dan sebagainya. <i>But a whole experience in Ubud is surely fulfilling and I am grateful for everything that has happened.</i> Untuk rangkuman tentang kehidupan saya di Ubud selama setahun belakangan bisa dibaca <b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/By2a_RoA2Wf/" target="_blank">di sini</a></b> (sekalian <i>follow</i> dong, hehe). <br />
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Berhubung saya datang ke Ubud untuk bekerja, jujur saya tidak terlalu bernafsu untuk mengeksplorasi wisata Ubud, atau bahkan wisata Bali pada umumnya. Maklum, tahun lalu saya bergabung dengan Ubud Writers & Readers Festival lima bulan menjelang hari H, sehingga perhatian dan energi saya jelas tersita. Memang tahun ini saya punya lebih banyak waktu luang dan hari libur untuk piknik tipis-tipis. Apalagi dengan adanya – ehem – Tinder, jadi enggak repot kalau mau cari <i>travel buddy</i> [#abaikan]. Tapi sumpah, aktivitas wisata yang saya lakukan enggak se-menantang turis lainnya. Ya secara kalaupun mau jalan-jalan pada akhir pekan, Senin saya harus kerja lagi ye kan. <br />
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Hanya saja, pertanyaan tentang wisata Ubud terus berdatangan ke saya. Padahal informasi tentang Ubud dari para <i>travel blogger</i> – yang saking terkenalnya, bisa menginap di Kamandalu secara gratis – berlimpah! Mungkin <i>you guys</i> berpikir saya punya sudut pandang berbeda, lalu saya rasa juga “<i>why not</i>?” – bagi-bagi informasi kan berpahala. <i>So here we go</i>, panduan wisata Ubud (semoga) paling lengkap. </div>
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<a name='more'></a><b><br /></b><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Mengapa Ubud?</span></b><br />
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Satu alasan utama yang saya sadari baru-baru ini, Ubud adalah ‘<i>hub</i>’. <i>It’s right in the middle of Bali island.</i> Mau ke timur, utara, atau barat, Ubud terletak di tengah-tengah dan menjadikan (beberapa) rute perjalanan eksplorasi wisata Bali lebih efisien. Begini, hampir semua orang datang ke Kuta karena <i>it’s so d*mn famous</i>: belum ke Bali kalau belum ke Kuta. Yaelah [*<i>eyes rolling</i>*]. Kuta juga dekat dengan bandara – sehingga tentu saya akan menyarankan kamu mengakhiri wisata Bali dengan menginap di daerah Kuta kalau kamu punya jadwal penerbangan pagi. </div>
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<i>However, Ubud is something else. It’s not that beachy city or party avenue, but if you really want to SEE Bali that (mostly) still authentic, you have to come to Ubud.</i> Pura dan istana yang cantik, restoran dan kafe yang memenuhi hasrat, kesempatan berdekatan dengan alam yang menakjubkan. Wisata Ubud (konon) adalah tentang <i>reconnect</i> dengan dirimu. Meskipun pada saat <i>peak season</i>, ramenya Ubud bikin pengin mengelus dada (siapa?) tapi saya masih betah tinggal di Ubud (setidaknya sampai sekarang). </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Berapa lama waktu yang dibutuhkan untuk menjelajah Ubud? </i></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinGF668dHwK_ulbugZcfmo4Sqx2SQtEhL0kups5f9z4sSnizxnBnMoppwfP5vACS2C7bUd_4UhQ6Fn4o76MJd2quLczbhRnIYko6easCyqzo2Bdf1yQbfG41D2U9HtZIhgN7L2Gd5y79He/s1600/wisata+ubud+what+to+do+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="800" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinGF668dHwK_ulbugZcfmo4Sqx2SQtEhL0kups5f9z4sSnizxnBnMoppwfP5vACS2C7bUd_4UhQ6Fn4o76MJd2quLczbhRnIYko6easCyqzo2Bdf1yQbfG41D2U9HtZIhgN7L2Gd5y79He/s640/wisata+ubud+what+to+do+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image credit: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/By6U-BHgj6V/" target="_blank">@special__kaayy</a> (kiri), <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BzyS5edCusT/" target="_blank">@adrienne_koleszar</a> (kanan)</td></tr>
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Dua hari dua malam rasanya sudah sangat cukup. Ini jika kamu mau memasukkan semua destinasi wisata Ubud ke dalam daftar. Sebagai contoh: Campuhan Ridge, Monkey Forest, Tegalalang Rice Terrace, Ubud Market, dan lain-lain. <br />
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Nah, Ubud sendiri mungkin tidak terlalu kaya akan destinasi wisata, kecuali kamu ke sini untuk melakukan <i>yoga training</i> atau icip-icip kafe vegan/vegetarian yang menjamur. Saran saya, menginaplah di Ubud untuk menjangkau destinasi wisata Bali di sekitarnya, dengan perkiraan rute sebagai berikut: </div>
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<li style="text-align: justify;">Ke Arah Sanur/Denpasar: Bali Zoo (baca <a href="https://theprimadita.blogspot.com/2016/12/liburan-akhir-tahun-di-bali.html" target="_blank">cerita saya waktu ke sini tahun 2016</a>), Bali Bird Park, dan Bali Safari & Marine Park.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Karangasem: Sidemen, Tirta Gangga, Ujung Water Palace, dan Virgin Beach. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Bedugul: Kebun Raya dan Danau Bedugul, Danau Buyan, dan Danau Tamblingan.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Kintamani & Bangli: Danau Batur, Desa Wisata Penglipuran, Pura Gunung Kawi, Pura Tirta Empul, dan Goa Gajah. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Wisata Air Terjun: Tegenungan, Kanto Lampo, Rang Reng, dan Tibumana. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">Tabanan: Jatiluwih, Bali Butterfly Park, dan sekitarnya. </li>
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Bisa gak <i>day trip</i> ke tujuan di atas dari Kuta? Bisa saja, tapi saya enggak sanggup dengan lama perjalanan yang tidak dapat diprediksi. So, lebih baik menginap di Ubud dan segera beristirahat setelah berwisata sepanjang hari. Ada ‘Aamiin’, Pemirsa?<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><br />Apa yang tidak boleh dilewatkan saat berwisata ke Ubud?</i></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjULn_QqAnCXaiIrlM1FPDIwQiQ69lgNchhG6h7ItMe_BroP7QN8dicSkX3LZWt_9K-u1aBERlihJPjDzl_E0EwV5759lsVvrsCVwkR8GIOv9NwVEF9qdemc1Mt6Nq0Mmbo9vUNxHWxElM2/s1600/wisata+ubud+what+to+do+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="800" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjULn_QqAnCXaiIrlM1FPDIwQiQ69lgNchhG6h7ItMe_BroP7QN8dicSkX3LZWt_9K-u1aBERlihJPjDzl_E0EwV5759lsVvrsCVwkR8GIOv9NwVEF9qdemc1Mt6Nq0Mmbo9vUNxHWxElM2/s640/wisata+ubud+what+to+do+2.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image credit: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BzCa1dvh3FK/" target="_blank">@andut</a> (kiri); <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/ByLsF9tA8yW/" target="_blank">@ringabiketour</a> (kanan)</td></tr>
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Ini pertanyaan yang sangat <i>tricky</i> karena saya belum mencoba semua aktivitas yang tersedia, dan tentu saja tergantung dengan seberapa fit staminamu. Kalau kamu berjiwa petualang, tentu saya akan menyuruh kamu mencoba <i>rafting</i> atau bersepeda keliling Ubud. Yang kedua, hmmm, siapkan mental baja karena medan Ubud dihiasi oleh tanjakan dan turunan. Tapi sepedanya khusus kok, kamu enggak akan terlalu capek (berusaha membuat para pembaca tidak terlalu tegang, lol). Paling juga ngos-ngosan sedikit, hahaha. Aktivitas wisata di Ubud lainnya yang membuat para wisatawan menginap di sini adalah, mendaki Gunung Batur dan menanti matahari terbit di puncak. Sedihnya, saya juga belum pernah melakukannya karena… wacana <i>forever</i> sama teman-teman dekat!<br />
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Biaya: sekitar 350,000 sampai 750,000 per orang tergantung pilihan aktivitas dan fasilitas (misal: jemput di hotel, sarapan, dan sebagainya). Paling aman dan insyaAllah lebih murah, cek di hotel tempatmu menginap. Mereka pasti punya afiliasi dengan <i>tour agency</i>.<br />
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Tapi kalau kamu tergolong turis yang santai, enggak ada yang perlu dikejar kecuali rida Allah (wow, apa ini :p), Ubud cocok untuk pejalan kaki. Iya, jalan kaki keliling Sentral Ubud sampai ke Campuhan. Tentu, dengan cuaca yang tidak seganas di Kuta atau daerah sekitar pantai, kamu bisa mengenakan <i>summer dress</i> dan masih tampak (sedikit) memesona setibanya di Campuhan. Waktu paling pas untuk ‘mengukur’ Ubud dan sekitarnya adalah pagi-pagi sekali sehingga kamu tidak perlu berjibaku dengan orang-orang lain saat hendak berfoto. Waktu saya ke Tegalalang sama teman dari Perancis, saya paksa dia untuk berangkat pukul 06.30 – dan benar saja, ketika kami sudah menyelesaikan ‘hajat’ pukul 08.00, mendadak para turis berdatangan dan foto-foto pun menjadi kurang nyaman. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>Ubud, Pusat Festival dan Pertukaran Budaya di Bali</i></span></div>
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<i>There’s always exciting events in Ubud along the year.</i> Kalau ingin mendapatkan pengalaman berbeda, kamu bisa datang ke Ubud pada saat festival berlangsung. <i>Call me bias</i>, tentu saja yang pertama dan utama akan saya rekomendasikan adalah <a href="http://www.ubudwritersfestival.com/" target="_blank">Ubud Writers & Readers Festival</a> (sedang ada pembukaan volunteer nih, cek <a href="http://www.ubudwritersfestival.com/volunteer/" target="_blank">di sini</a>) dan <a href="https://www.ubudfoodfestival.com/" target="_blank">Ubud Food Festival</a>. <i>I don’t think I should explain more about these festivals, should I?</i> Hahaha.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0A7OfwMvhcQF1MhI4ua47eHvpZmcEdMJqWXTjOPvRSCMTdFx4LuGxBDkV5J8NxtKrBHWQU7OSYFfKESS6UFaA3gr9001pNH-CJs4UCGkNN6IQaou-4X9X8kgP6napZReRDifTcdf9D3xH/s1600/wisata+ubud+_+festival.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="800" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0A7OfwMvhcQF1MhI4ua47eHvpZmcEdMJqWXTjOPvRSCMTdFx4LuGxBDkV5J8NxtKrBHWQU7OSYFfKESS6UFaA3gr9001pNH-CJs4UCGkNN6IQaou-4X9X8kgP6napZReRDifTcdf9D3xH/s640/wisata+ubud+_+festival.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image credit: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Byz9CVGgR8T/" target="_blank">@balispiritfest</a> (kiri), <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BwoGruBAeie/" target="_blank">@ubudvillagejazzfestival</a> (kanan)</td></tr>
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Di samping itu, ada Ubud Village Jazz Festival, Bali Spirit Festival, Ubud Royal Weekend, dan TEDxUbud. Tahun ini, Bali International Indigenous Film Festival juga diselenggarakan di Ubud. <i>So yeah</i>, ada banyak keceriaan di Ubud (walaupun ini juga berarti tingkat kepadatan jalan juga bertambah, hehe). </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7p-NbQB4CT0S86HJVZcfMa-KicUmpqAsK1vCCNp9aRAH39eWH_RQ-o1F615yzw7pM_Ctc3f6AMgQtDy1S7LhP7K8UJCUpFL6yBlIRUEBL8RYtXoJXfUmACqrwVS6Vd7_WtlOy0to1etrf/s1600/wisata+ubud+_+hustlers+villa+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1080" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7p-NbQB4CT0S86HJVZcfMa-KicUmpqAsK1vCCNp9aRAH39eWH_RQ-o1F615yzw7pM_Ctc3f6AMgQtDy1S7LhP7K8UJCUpFL6yBlIRUEBL8RYtXoJXfUmACqrwVS6Vd7_WtlOy0to1etrf/s400/wisata+ubud+_+hustlers+villa+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yasss, akhirnya ada saya nongol! :)) - Image credit: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B0GB2tBnUS0/" target="_blank">@hustlersvilla</a></td></tr>
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Alternatif lain, kalau kamu ke Ubud untuk mencari secercah inspirasi atau justru ingin menguji kemampuan bahasa Inggris-mu tanpa harus menginap, kamu bisa datang ke acara-acara yang diselenggarakan oleh berbagai <i>co-working space</i> seperti Hubud, Outpost, atau <a href="https://www.instagram.com/hustlersvilla/" target="_blank">Hustlers Villa</a>. Yang terakhir, punya kegiatan setiap Minggu pukul 10.00-13.00WITA bertajuk Creative Speaking (gratis) + Business Brunch (berbayar 100,000IDR <i>all you can eat</i> masakan Indonesia yang sumpah enak!). Di sini kamu bisa mendengarkan cerita-cerita dari para <i>digital nomad</i> atau <i>traveler</i> yang singgah ke Ubud, dan juga membagikan kisahmu. Seru banget, <i>you’ll never know what kind of people you meet here</i>! </div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;"><br />Spot foto paling kece</span></i></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz4RZLH0eHzF5pla9Ca0X_5ymNOEdrx1JlKNE82CSOZ3yWAXvFe2y9tC0Ntq1GXGAmQF7oljXu_4Q7Hvdm03l7fD5T_alhSAn-UNztXephoQLGElWV7luSfdoCkCZbyr3ie2ti63n8ggvB/s1600/pura+saraswati.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="810" data-original-width="1080" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz4RZLH0eHzF5pla9Ca0X_5ymNOEdrx1JlKNE82CSOZ3yWAXvFe2y9tC0Ntq1GXGAmQF7oljXu_4Q7Hvdm03l7fD5T_alhSAn-UNztXephoQLGElWV7luSfdoCkCZbyr3ie2ti63n8ggvB/s400/pura+saraswati.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image credit: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BtR06aHHUY2/" target="_blank">@hzspirit</a></td></tr>
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<i>I hate this subject actually.</i> Bukan hanya karena saya pribadi tidak terlalu senang berfoto (secukupnya saja), tapi juga karena beberapa spot foto di Ubud itu berbayar. Oke – warga lokal membutuhkan biaya untuk perawatan tempat, tapi terkadang saya berpikir bahwa ini adalah <i>scamming</i> terselubung. Sebagai contoh, kalau kamu mau foto sambil main ayunan di Tegalalang, setidaknya kamu harus membayar 100,000IDR. Atau di beberapa ‘sangkar burung’ yang berada di Air Terjun Tegenungan, kalau tidak salah dikenakan biaya 10,000-20,000IDR. <i>Worthy</i> atau tidak-nya kembali ke kamu. <br />
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<i>But, no worries</i>! Pura Saraswati dengan kolam teratai, Campuhan dengan dua pohon kelapa yang menjulang, jembatan dekat restoran bridges – tersedia hhhratis untukmu berfoto sepuasnya. Sekali lagi saya harus menekankan untuk kamu datang pagi-pagi sekali agar tidak perlu berebut <i>spot</i> dengan wisatawan lain. Ada satu lagi yang menurut saya <i>magnificent</i>: Pura Dalem Ubud di Jalan Raya Ubud, tapi berfotolah pada malam hari. <i>Always captivates me everytime I pass it. </i><br />
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Wah, enggak nyangka ya, ternyata saya cukup tahu tentang Ubud, LOL. Baiklah, sebagian informasi lainnya tentang wisata Ubud akan saya lanjutkan di <i>blog post</i> berikutnya. <i>Stay tune</i>! <br />
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Lots of love,<br />
Prima</div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-48630106060764311832019-04-01T11:44:00.005+07:002019-04-01T11:59:15.103+07:00Monday Journal: Q1 2019<div style="text-align: justify;">
Hari Senin kemarin saya tidak menulis Monday Journal karena beberapa alasan. Awalnya saya berpikir hendak menggabungkan cerita dua minggu lalu pada hari ini, karena… kita memasuki bulan baru! MasyaAllah, <i>time flies</i>! Kalau dalam pekerjaan, ada yang namanya kuartal dan kita sudah melewati kuartal pertama. Waktunya melakukan evaluasi, terutama untuk saya pribadi yang merasa hidup saya selama tiga bulan pertama pada tahun 2019 ini kacau balau. <i>Sooo, I hope this self-evaluation of mine will give you a lesson or two.</i><br />
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Pertama, saya melakukan sebuah kesalahan yang sangat besar yaitu: menggantungkan hidup saya kepada seorang manusia. Seolah-olah seluruh masa depan saya terpengaruh dari keputusan yang dia ambil. Suatu saat saya pernah gusar dan bingung, lalu saya berbincang dengan sahabat saya, seperti ini:<br />
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Saya: “<i>But I want to chase my dreams.</i>”<br />
Sahabat: “Bukannya <i>your dream</i> itu <i>live with him happily ever after</i>?”<br />
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<i>THANK GOD</i> saya enggak memutuskan untuk hijrah ke ibu kota demi si dia (<i>well we never know what might happen if I did that, but still…</i>). <i>For a woman who strongly believe that I can create my own future, this guy has turned my life upside down and after some days contemplating, I know I don’t like this kind of idea.</i> Butuh waktu untuk menyadari bahwa yang kemarin patah hati itu bukan sejatinya diri saya, karena saya yang sebenar-benarnya tidak merasa menyesal mencintai dia. Saya bersyukur diizinkan Allah mengenal dia dan jatuh cinta untuk sesuatu yang menurut kacamata saya, ‘baik’. Cinta yang saya curahkan menunjukkan betapa saya memang seperti itu: senang memedulikan orang lain, penuh kasih, dan naif (kalau mau dibilang bodoh, ya enggak apa-apa juga #sadardiri). Orang bilang nama itu doa, dan karena nama tengah saya diambil dari nama Allah, “Ar-Rahman”, maka itulah doa orangtua saya terhadap saya:<br />
<i><br />The Lovingly Beneficent, Most Kind and Gracious</i></div>
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Kedua, tiga bulan ini saya sangat-sangat kritis kepada diri sendiri. Saya kerap membandingkan diri sendiri dengan orang lain sampai stres. “Kok dia udah begini ya?” “Kok aku enggak bisa begitu ya?” Proyek-proyek pribadi saya belum menunjukkan hasil yang saya inginkan; ada banyak kegagalan di sana-sini sampai saya hampir bertengkar dengan sahabat (yang lain). Padahal saya yang meminta dia menjadi rekan <i>brainstorming</i>, dan justru saya enggak siap dapat kritik dari dia. Hal ini juga ‘menjerumuskan’ saya ke ‘jurang’ perdebatan yang tiada henti dengan orangtua karena mereka mendesak saya membuktikan sesuatu. <i>Sometimes I think this is why I escaped to Bali. I felt like my parents forced me to be someone who I am not. And even I followed what they want, the result wasn’t that good as well because I did not do it with heart. Confused and mad to myself almost every single day, I forgot that the most important thing in this journey is myself. I can’t work optimally if I am not happy. I can’t contribute to the society if I am not happy. I can’t surrender fully to Allah if I am not happy.</i></div>
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Maka saya mengambil cuti satu hari pada hari Kamis, 28 Maret 2019. Selain karena sempat demam tinggi selama dua hari, saya kewalahan dengan ‘beban hidup’ saya (halah) dan merasa perlu mengambil istirahat penuh. Saya mencoba tidur sampai siang (walaupun enggak bisa), dan karena saya bosan, saya berkeliling kota dengan sepeda motor, lalu menutup hari dengan jogging di Taman Kota Gianyar. </div>
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Sesudah cuti hari Kamis tersebut, saya merasa jauh lebih lega. Terlebih setelah menghadiri <a href="http://www.balispiritfestival.com/" target="_blank">Bali Spirit Festival</a> pada hari Minggu dan mengikuti sesi “<a href="https://www.thegirlnessproject.com/" target="_blank">The Girlness Project</a>”. Di situ saya sadar bahwa saya (atau kita pada umumnya) cenderung bersikap lebih ramah ke orang lain daripada ke diri sendiri. Kita bisa memeluk, mendamaikan, atau mengucapkan kata-kata yang simpatik saat orang lain bersedih; tetapi saat kita sendiri mengalami keterpurukan, <i>we easily lose control and becoming our worst enemy</i>. Hal ini menjadikan saya secara pribadi bersedih karena memang sebulan terakhir saya berkubang dalam <i>self-critical</i> yang tidak berujung. Saya merasa kurang solehah, kurang cantik (kalau ini dari dulu sih), kurang berprestasi, dan sebagainya. Ditambah dengan kenyataan bahwa sekali lagi saya ‘tidak dipilih’ oleh lelaki yang saya cintai untuk menjadi pendamping seumur hidupnya, saya jadi merasa ada yang salah dengan diri saya. <i>But yes, based on this session’s discussion, we should not give other people the power to make us feel like we are worthless. No matter what people think of ourselves, it’s us who has to reflect on self-compassion and ready to accept our body – our mind – our everything, the way we are. </i></div>
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<i>At last, I felt that I slowly ‘returned’ to my core self. I have decided, and hope to keep reminding that, I need to put myself first before thinking about others. It might sound selfish but I believe it will bring a better impact for my days ahead.</i> Hasil dari usaha mencintai diri sendiri selama tiga hari ini saja, saya dapat ide-ide segar untuk Muslimah Sinau dan… buku kedua saya. Alhamdulillah. :)</div>
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<i>To love our self in the best way we should, it needs a lot of practice. Like, a lot. However, the last three months have been so draining… and at the end of the day, I got nothing. Hopefully, I still have a chance to start over my life, and pursue what’s best for me before end of the year.</i> Bismillah.</div>
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Lots of love,</div>
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Prima</div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-41535007405966527632019-03-18T14:33:00.002+07:002019-03-18T14:41:33.478+07:00Monday Journal #10 & #11<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>I’m back!</i> Dua minggu terakhir saya seperti sedang menaiki roller-coaster yang tidak henti-hentinya mengejutkan saya dengan tanjakan dan turunan yang curam. Namun begitu, hari ini merupakan awal dari minggu yang baru dan <b><i>eventually </i></b>saya bersyukur atas segala apa yang terjadi. Saya manusia biasa yang bisa jatuh terpuruk, dan di saat-saat itulah saya hanya mampu berkata lirih, <i>“Ya Allah, I want Your justice”</i>. Sungguh, saya sama sekali tidak merasa pantas mendapatkan keadilan dari-Nya, tetapi jika bukan kepada-Nya saya mengadu, kepada siapa lagi?<br />
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Semuanya berawal pada hari Selasa, 5 Maret. Sesuatu terjadi hingga membuat saya melupakan ulang tahun adik saya. Sebenarnya saya sempat menulis sedikit pada hari Kamis, 8 Maret; tapi saya tidak sanggup melanjutkannya. Berikut nukilannya. <br />
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<i>As a girl who promises to always see the sunshine even in the darkest storm, first thing first let me say “Alhamdulillah” for everything that happened during last week*. Finally, my prayer has been answered, and once again I have to remind myself that this is the best thing that Allah gives to me right now. He knows what I don’t know, He sees what I don’t see. “Innaka anta ‘allamul ghuyub”. <br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></i><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">*Karena saya bermaksud mem-post tulisan ini pada hari Senin, 11 Maret.</span></span><i><br /><br />However, there were some good things and bad things about the ‘accident’. The bad thing was: sadly, I didn’t ‘celebrate’ Nyepi in Bali, and I had to cancel my plan to go to Singaraja. I am glad that my travel buddy (found her in Facebook group, OMG!) was so understanding; but now I have to set another time to go to Singaraja. Last week was perfect for me because my ngaji student also having their Nyepi holiday, and my weekends ahead will be full with teaching, writing, and preparing Ubud Food Festival. And then Ramadan comes! MasyaAllah. </i>Terus aku kapaaan liburannyaaaaa. <i><br /><br />The good thing, he launched ‘the bomb’ on Tuesday. That day my team were busy announcing the theme for Ubud Writers & Readers Festival 2019, and we were so ecstatic. His message burst out among the positive feedback; yet still my face got pale instantly, my hands and feet felt so cold, then I ran to my office backyard… crying for one hour straight. Some of my office mates came and hugged me, then they asked me to book the ticket right away. They encouraged me to go home because it will be too depressing for me to be in Bali at Nyepi. As the bus ticket has been sold out (of course), I bought any earliest train ticket from Banyuwangi to Malang, and searched for information on how I could get out from Bali before the gates closed on Wednesday evening. I am truly blessed to have my office mates, my boss, and my General Manager because they were like, “it’s okay, we can take care of this, you may take care of yourself”. So yeah, even though it took me almost 36 hours, I eventually arrived at my home in Malang. Alhamdulillah!!!<br /><br />I am sad and shock that the decision has been made at last. Me and the guy I was in love with will no longer have any chance to be together, even though I begged Allah for giving me time to pray until Ramadan. But this is the outcome that makes it easier for me to move forward. I chose to let go a best friend than losing myself, and I am happy to do it. </i><br />
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Lalu, apa yang terjadi selama di Malang? Saya menangisssss sampai mata bengkak; merajuk kepada ayah dan ibu; dan tidur sepuasnya. Memang saya curhat kepada para sahabat (dan saya sangat-sangat bersyukur bahwa mereka semua berada di pihak saya), tetapi tidak banyak yang mereka katakan yang dapat membuat saya tersenyum. Sampai salah satu sahabat di Malang memaksa saya keluar rumah untuk menonton Captain Marvel. Saya suka banget sama filmnya sampai nonton dua kali! Hihi. Lalu sesudah saya bisa ‘menguasai diri’, saya memutuskan kembali ke Bali pada hari Sabtu sore dikarenakan perjalanan darat yang harus saya tempuh sangatlah melelahkan. Pikir saya, kalau hari Minggu sudah di Bali kan saya bisa bobok sepuasnya (lagi). <br />
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Terrrnyata, ada kejadian lain yang jeng jeng, membuat hidup saya berbalik 180 derajat. Kalau hari Selasa itu saya menangis karena sedih, kesal, marah, dan kecewa; hari ini saya menangis karena bahagia. Hahaha. Memang rumus dalam hidup itu cuma satu kok: <i><b>manage your expectation, because expectations may lead to disappointment.</b></i> Dan kemarin itu saya enggak punya ekspektasi apa-apa, hingga seseorang ini melakukan sesuatu yang membuat saya berpikir, “Allah tuh baik banget sama kamu, Prim!”<br />
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<i>Okay, sooo I installed Tinder.</i> Sumpah iseng banget, secara <i>deep down inside my heart</i> saya sudah tahu enggak akan ada yang men-swipe right saya (apalagi di Bali dengan ‘kostum’ saya yang begini, ye kan)… sampai saya ngobrol sama dua orang lelaki (iyaaa, yang match sampai sekarang beneran cuma sedikit, huhu). Yang satu tadinya udah mau bela-belain motoran dari Kuta ke Ubud tapi ada miscommunication jadi batal ketemu; dan saya agak nyesel soalnya dia ganteng (lah). Tapi itu first match dan saya pikir ya nanti mungkin akan ada lagi lelaki <strike>khilaf</strike> yang men-swipe right saya. Beneran ada, dan setelah ngobrol via WhatsApp seharian hari Senin, 4 Maret, saya meninggalkan dia begitu saja ke Malang. Hahahahaha. Saya jujur ke dia kalau saya lagi patah hati berat, <i>and you know what</i> Pemirsaaa, entah dapat bisikan dari mana, dia ngebatalin tiket pulangnya hari Jumat, 8 Maret, demi nunggu saya balik ke Bali!!!<br />
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<i>Long story short, we met and talked and he keep extending his visit in Bali, until today morning when he finally had to go back to his office. Something about us that you might want to know, we didn’t jump into a relationship right away, but he really really boosted my confidence. </i>Tadinya saya pikir, “nanti kalau enggak nyambung ngobrolnya, aku mau kabur aja terus aku block”. Ternyata kami ngobrol dari pagi sampai malam, <i>and dear, he treated me like a princess. I know you guys must be thinking,</i> “Prima kok berani ketemu orang dari Tinder endebre endebre”, <i>but he was just so nice it makes me almost believed that it’s just too good to be true.</i> Menyimak impiannya dan cerita perjalanannya membuat saya teringat hal-hal yang ingin saya bangun di masa depan. Dia membuat saya bangkit dan menyadari bahwa diri saya berharga dengan segala kelebihan dan kekurangan saya. <i>At last, he reminded me that I deserve to be loved.</i><br />
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Teringat saya akan sebuah kutipan yang tadinya saya peruntukkan bagi lelaki yang telah mematahkan hati saya, <b>[<i>“I am a firm believer of serendipity - all the random pieces coming together in one wonderful moment, when suddenly you see what their purpose was all along.”</i> – David Levithan]</b>. Kali ini saya peruntukkan kutipan ini bagi dia, sahabat baru saya. <i>I will be forever thankful that Allah sent you to me in one of my most vulnerable moments. You were the rainbow that came after the storm, and I hope one day our path will cross again. </i><br />
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Lots of happiness,<br />
Prima</div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-1630851384100743302019-03-07T11:00:00.000+07:002019-03-07T11:00:17.724+07:00Readers Who Write: My Earliest Piece of Creative Writing<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
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Today I am going to bring you for some throwbacks
as the question is…</div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What is the
earliest piece of creative writing you can remember starting? Was it a poem,
short story, novel, etc.? What was it about? Did you finish the first draft?</i></div>
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I started journaling when I was so little. My mom
works full time and usually will be home at 4-5PM, so she asked me to write any
activities that I do before she arrives. Basically my diary contained with
story of my day, including what I have learned at school and the television
series that I watch while waiting for her. </div>
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Oh that’s not creative writing. Right. Hahaha. Okay
so my first piece of writings was… poem. Yes, I wrote a lot of it! Long ones. I
joined some writing competitions during elementary school, and there were times
I got rejected because my poem was too long. I don’t remember who were my
muses, but I remember I wrote a lot about politics. <i>Iyaaa, beneraaan.</i> I wrote
about how we can be a better Indonesian citizen, stuffs like that. </div>
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Some years later, I switched to essays because it
gives me more space to express my thoughts. Yet, my words were ‘flowery’ when
Taufik Ismail read my writing in a competition, he said I should write poems
instead. But I never really learn how to write, those years my writings were so
raw it came straight from my mind and unedited. My library teacher as the
editor only helped picking up the correct words from Kamus Besar Bahasa
Indonesia – that’s why Kamus and Dictionary become two of my most favorite
books ever since.</div>
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In 2009, I began to blog and realized it’s a good
medium to publish my writings. I can write everything as I like, and I used
<a href="http://primaditarahma-blog.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Tumblr</a> that time. In 2011, I founded a blog named <a href="http://helokim.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">HeloKim</a>, and this is
something I want to share you about. HeloKim was built based on my thesis about
foreign football players, and I posted most of the writings there using one
person POV. So this Korean football player, I gave him name JH Kim, telling his
daily life stories on the blog. I covered some topics from habits and culture
of Korean, his difficulties in trying to survive in Indonesia, until his love
life. Turned out, some people think JH Kim is a real person, and sent me emails!
I was surprised and it motivated me to transform it into a novel draft. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwt9jPA1igmOytc0jXQ7bdANO53qHl8UPWFiCnZxDEsM6qIno9VPA5iHM6YFITmgN3veIKRWT9NMfSNShCKlsHtxkmNz9q__0KE05pfrA7E0Eb0Bq-RyoPMmJgguNUz9UqAQHJF_Z28UXk/s1600/helokim+header.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="260" data-original-width="860" height="96" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwt9jPA1igmOytc0jXQ7bdANO53qHl8UPWFiCnZxDEsM6qIno9VPA5iHM6YFITmgN3veIKRWT9NMfSNShCKlsHtxkmNz9q__0KE05pfrA7E0Eb0Bq-RyoPMmJgguNUz9UqAQHJF_Z28UXk/s320/helokim+header.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The blog header, sorry if it's cheesy. 😅</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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However, it’s been EIGHT years now (Oh my God) and
I haven’t finished it yet. I am too clueless to keep writing. I don’t know how
to start over again, I also don’t have any idea about the ending. All I can
imagine is the characters (because it is based on true story). Unfortunately,
although experienced the stories myself, this ‘JH Kim’ and I didn’t have any
ending. We just… stopped talking. <i>Lha kalau aku bikin akhirnya begitu, bisa
dikeplak pembaca ye kan? </i></div>
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It’s been my biggest dream to accomplish it, and I
really wish there will be a production house who wants to bring it into movie
(talking about DREAM). Only this year might not be the best time for it, I
can’t recall where I put the draft ((-_-)). Perhaps next year I will be back to
this project, get some senses of football matches and Korean culture. This,
will not only be one of the highest achievement in my writing ‘career’, but
also perpetuates my memories with some people who changed my mind about love
and life. So… stay tune!</div>
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Lots of love,</div>
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Prima<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-61064221421367144522019-03-05T11:00:00.000+07:002019-03-05T11:00:02.492+07:00Readers Who Write: Favorite Book as a Child<div style="text-align: justify;">
Apart of <a href="https://theprimadita.blogspot.com/2019/03/monday-journal-9.html#more" target="_blank">Monday Journal #9</a>, please be aware that I also write another blog series called “<b>Readers Who Write</b>”, and this is my third submission:<br />
<br />
<i>What was your favorite book as a child? Would you give it as an age-appropriate present? Why or why not?</i><br />
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When I was a child, I have profound memories with two book series: <b>Sesame Street</b> and <b>Widya Wiyata Pertama Anak – Mengapa Begini Mengapa Begitu</b>. I didn’t have complete series but I have a shelf full with the books. Right now when I browse the images from Google, I feel the warmth… oh, how those days are so full of happiness – look at me now, I have been single for the last EIGHT years, have a miserable life as deadlines and so on and so forth are chasing. What.a.life. <i>#lahcurhat</i><br />
<br />
Anyway, I think my mom understand since the beginning that I am an active child. I like to do a lot of activities at school, I make friends easily, and I cannot stop talking. So my mom had to find a book to make me stay quiet for some hours, i.e. when I came home from kindergarten/elementary school and I have to wait for my mom finished working. The book doesn’t only have to give me insightful knowledge (because I like being smart, ha ha), but also give me meaningful perspective about life. So both series ticked the needs. <br />
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I still remember one of the Sesame Street telling about the story of Elmo staying at his friend’s house for one night, and I applied all of his tips. For example, when my friend’s mom offers me dinner, I have to help washing the dishes, or at least bring it to the kitchen. – P.S.: I don’t remember exactly how was the story, but I believe you get my point.<br />
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Sesame Street open up my mind about being a good member of the society, like how to treat my friends, teachers, neighbors, and even siblings. It taught me from what should I do if I get lost in a mall, to how to apologize if I make mistakes! There are a lot important lessons that I obtained from Sesame Street, and it also became my very first source in learning English. Do you know that Sesame Street has audiobooks that we can listen to?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhji1vBGzdu0wFUIGgEVIpB9ClxXtV9N8qRs9sLCxvFGKm1ZvqYIw3ygUyYAVle7FSZp-1Rtw95A3j8RsbGGXFViT60HYoVZaBHRxja1bDDtyPJ_H4Mz5bMmvxS-78F9hTXDN6UjN9s_5ms/s1600/9780307120151-us.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="492" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhji1vBGzdu0wFUIGgEVIpB9ClxXtV9N8qRs9sLCxvFGKm1ZvqYIw3ygUyYAVle7FSZp-1Rtw95A3j8RsbGGXFViT60HYoVZaBHRxja1bDDtyPJ_H4Mz5bMmvxS-78F9hTXDN6UjN9s_5ms/s320/9780307120151-us.jpg" width="314" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Drf1G2iDWIsxY9s2yiPYldUjg-7gRfPfmT5RiHh-N9NRj-_jOFZH-QEprFse4cOrpUpVLOPkiVGYFnY5W1JROgdw6OjWr3xHEQ7MpJGtI5Fhr7Jx5q-nCh_TGnAqP3IY7NhUE1DNF-zw/s1600/480x351bb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="351" data-original-width="480" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Drf1G2iDWIsxY9s2yiPYldUjg-7gRfPfmT5RiHh-N9NRj-_jOFZH-QEprFse4cOrpUpVLOPkiVGYFnY5W1JROgdw6OjWr3xHEQ7MpJGtI5Fhr7Jx5q-nCh_TGnAqP3IY7NhUE1DNF-zw/s320/480x351bb.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The second series, Mengapa Begini Mengapa Begitu (MBMB) is more like an encyclopedia – with attractive images. It explains science in super easy way, and it did help me at school. Some things I can remember from the book is about why we tend to pee more often in cold weather, and why our nails grow faster in hot weather – but I forgot why. Hahahahaha. I meant, I remember the images. <i>[Buset jubaedaaah.] </i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCckZH07fu51i7uwzCU48K3PSyzWZ_XRxCCv6UTSYnab5I1T9PKd_geSXiX9qFNY5Kc2PItzJha4di2XVCXleb91ylZd_w-y3ba_kWFI_jxxKbhu9Hi8qBV5z39VAQ8kuRv-_-jBTqefKk/s1600/154601032881618_63a0741f-f5a9-416f-a25b-60ef34df63f8.png.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="700" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCckZH07fu51i7uwzCU48K3PSyzWZ_XRxCCv6UTSYnab5I1T9PKd_geSXiX9qFNY5Kc2PItzJha4di2XVCXleb91ylZd_w-y3ba_kWFI_jxxKbhu9Hi8qBV5z39VAQ8kuRv-_-jBTqefKk/s320/154601032881618_63a0741f-f5a9-416f-a25b-60ef34df63f8.png.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiloNWSRUYO_Th9TRSQkJVHgC4QiJskfJbfHhyphenhyphenUryJBrlZ9X1UwKnAtlno1F-qhpArgqz3B29eZg0O4CS9k6p6yrd_jKkgklh7_fz5XjJw0zjSsAxZjHx6k_5GXZNpTdd8wzeNq5m09J-Pd/s1600/Buku_Wawasan_Anak_Mengapa_Begini__Mengapa_Begitu_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="750" data-original-width="1000" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiloNWSRUYO_Th9TRSQkJVHgC4QiJskfJbfHhyphenhyphenUryJBrlZ9X1UwKnAtlno1F-qhpArgqz3B29eZg0O4CS9k6p6yrd_jKkgklh7_fz5XjJw0zjSsAxZjHx6k_5GXZNpTdd8wzeNq5m09J-Pd/s320/Buku_Wawasan_Anak_Mengapa_Begini__Mengapa_Begitu_2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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As I wrote this, I cannot not think about privilege. </div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
privilege: a right, immunity, or benefit enjoyed only by a person beyond the advantages of most <span style="font-size: xx-small;">(<a href="https://www.dictionary.com/browse/privilege" target="_blank">source</a>)</span></blockquote>
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I am thankful for the opportunity that Allah gave me, as my parents were rich enough to buy me books and send me to one of the most prestigious schools in Surabaya. Of course at that time I wouldn’t assume that one day I will be working for an international organization which urging me to speak and write English in daily basis. In the other side, even though not all knowledge I got from the MBMB book, I still got the pleasure of being the walking encyclopedia when I was in elementary school. No matter how challenging my life afterwards, but the books that I read in the first years of my life built my personality. For these reasons, I would say that those books were age-appropriate. <br />
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I am not sure if we still can get Sesame Street and MBMB books nowadays, but I am sure there have been a lot of better books which more fit for the millennial kids. Someday I hope I (or my husband) will have enough money to buy our kids good books, so we can postpone their smartphone usage until…I don’t know maybe they enter junior high school (HAHA like possible). But yesss, in conclusion, great kids book is very important, that’s all – I rest my case. See you on the next post!<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Prima<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">*All images from Google.</span> </div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-68885176003230683832019-03-04T09:28:00.001+07:002019-03-04T09:34:26.224+07:00Monday Journal #9<div style="text-align: justify;">
Sabtu pagi dalam perjalanan ke kantor untuk lembur, saya melangitkan doa, “Ya Allah, tolong beri aku semangat untuk hidup”. Saya tidak sedang berbohong. Saya mencintai pekerjaan saya; berbahagia karena sudah terpisah jarak dengan beberapa orang yang kerap menyakiti saya; dan mulai bisa menerima kenyataan bahwa inilah skenario terbaik yang Allah tetapkan untuk saya sekarang. Tentu ada alasan mengapa semua yang saya harapkan atau rencanakan sepanjang bulan Desember-Januari lalu gagal (atau mendekati gagal – atau belum berhasil), dan toh Bali <i>is not a bad idea</i>. Iya kalau misalnya saya terpaksa berada di Timbuktu (itu dimana sih?) atau pelosok Papua Nugini misalnya, wajar jika saya mengeluh. Lha ini saya menjadi bagian dalam festival sastra (dan kuliner) terbesar di Asia Tenggara – yang mana kantornya punya pemandangan nan indah, lalu pulang kerja atau akhir pekan saya mengajar ngaji. Kalau mau liburan, tempat wisata di Bali bejibun. Apa sih yang kurang dalam hidup saya? <br />
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Minggu lalu, saya belajar satu hal: bahwa kebahagiaan bukan berarti hilangnya kesedihan sama sekali. Kebahagiaan adalah ketika kita mampu menerima dan bersyukur atas apapun yang terjadi; dan kesedihan itu akan selalu ada karena yang namanya hidup enggak mungkin enak doang. <i>But when we are ‘happy’, we consider the sadness is a ‘beautiful’ addition in life. Also, life can’t be bad alllll the time, right? </i><br />
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<i>However, at this point, I can’t see things beyond this year. </i>Kalau ada orang yang bertanya, apakah saya akan terus di Ubud, saya akan jawab tidak tahu. Kalau dilanjutkan dengan pertanyaan, apa yang akan saya lakukan tahun depan, saya akan jawab tidak tahu. <i>I simply don’t have any plan, and some parts of me mad at myself to not have any spirit to plan.</i> Halah, ribet. Intinya, saya sedang kesal sama diri sendiri yang seperti tidak punya motivasi untuk menjalani hidup ke depannya. Yang ada di pikiran saya adalah menjalani hari demi hari, besok? Lihat besok. <br />
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Padahal saya sadar bahwa dunia ini punya begitu banyak masalah, dan apakah saya hanya akan menjadi manusia yang berprinsip ‘<b>urip mung mampir ngopi</b>’ (dan bahkan saya bukan peminum kopi)? Sejak saya ikut kegiatannya <a href="https://www.oneislandonevoice.org/" target="_blank">One Island One Voice: Bali’s Biggest Clean Up</a> pertengahan Februari lalu, saya terus menerus kepikiran tentang sampah di muka bumi. Itu belum termasuk isu RUU PKS, dan dengan demikian saya berpikiran, bagaimana caranya untuk membuka wawasan para muslimah muda tentang hal-hal yang penting untuk diperbincangkan? <i>I don’t want us to be ignorant.</i> Apa kita harus puas jika dilahirkan ke bumi ini, lalu pergi tanpa berusaha mengubah bumi ini menjadi tempat yang lebih baik? <b><i>What’s MY legacy for the world? </i></b></div>
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Maka minggu lalu saya berbincang dengan seorang mantan atasan yang merupakan penggagas dari gerakan sosial pengumpulan koin untuk dana pendidikan anak tidak mampu. Saya ingin menjadi perwakilan di Bali dengan beberapa pertimbangan. Sayangnya, beliau punya pemikiran yang lebih matang hingga membuat saya menjadi mafhum dan mundur. Di samping itu, saya juga berencana untuk ikut Kelas Bahasa Isyarat bersama <a href="https://www.instagram.com/balideafcommunity/" target="_blank">Bali Deaf Community</a>, harapannya biar bisa jadi kontributor untuk “<a href="https://quranindonesiaproject.com/#/kabar/isi/SIARAN-PERS-CAHAYA-DALAM-SUNYI-RAYAKAN-KEMENANGAN-DENGAN-TAKBIRAN-BERSAMA-TEMAN-TULI" target="_blank">Cahaya dalam Sunyi</a>”. Sayangnya (lagi), kelasnya baru akan ada bulan April yang mana saya tidak mungkin untuk ikut, karena akan sibuk mengerjakan <a href="http://www.ubudfoodfestival.com/" target="_blank">Ubud Food Festival</a>. </div>
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Sembari memikirkan ide untuk warisan tersebut, saya insyaAllah akan mulai menulis lagi untuk sebuah media daring. Kok bisa? Ya tahun lalu saya juga kerja dobel kan, makanya ketika break saya memperbanyak goler-goler di kasur. Hehe. Capek banget. <i>This time I am aware on taking the job because I want to optimize my time.</i> Halah, bilang aja takut galaaawww kalau pikiran kosong. Nah iya, jadi kalau saya sibuk, kan pikiran enggak kemana-mana. :)) Semoga saja pilihan ini juga akan membantu mengarahkan saya ke ‘jalan yang benar’. </div>
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<i>I know I have been sharing a lot of insights and experiences about building a career, but to be honest for the last 7 years my work life has been</i> mengalir aja gitu. <i>I don’t know why but my plan never going perfectly as planned. If only I could (and the universe conspired to fulfill my wish), right now I’ll be in Qatar working to prepare the World Cup 2022; or in Dubai working for Emirates Literature Festival. But well, we never know. If it’s not today, maybe next year? ;)</i></div>
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Keep dreaming (and do the work!),</div>
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Prima</div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-8445045902261623022019-03-03T11:00:00.000+07:002019-03-03T11:00:04.600+07:00Readers Who Write: What I Listen To When I Write<div style="text-align: justify;">
Okay, the next question is...<br />
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<i>Do you prefer silence, music or other sounds when you write? Does your preference change depending upon what you're writing?</i><br />
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I have dealt with varied situations that making me realized there is no such thing as the ‘perfect’ writing environment. However, I can only start a writing in complete silence (a bit of noisy sounds is okay, though). Once I got the ‘shape’ of what I want to write, then I can listen to my favorite playlist, usually contains any easy listening songs that popular recently. If I have my <i>wudu</i>, I will listen to Quran recitation, most of the time it’s <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvuxp1MHJWW-_yGwsNKWSJQ" target="_blank">Fatih Seferagic</a> because his voice is a bit louder and clearer than any other <i>qari’</i>.<br />
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When I work – as basically my works require me to write, I prefer to not listening anything in the morning. It is because my brain has been full with my to-do list that day, so I need to shut it up and focus. Approaching the lunch time, if I got stuck, I will listen to classical songs. Really, I am not kidding. Then after lunch, I will listen to any upbeat songs that played on YouTube randomly for 1-2 hours. <br />
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What I was thinking in couple last days is, unfortunately I cannot write (or read) and listen to podcast at the same time. Perhaps because podcast ‘forces’ us to process the information thoroughly, unlike music that can be played as we work on anything else. So then, I listen to podcast when I am at the gym or my room. <br />
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In the other side, I do recommend you to listen to Quran recitation when you work. It doesn’t only help you to concentrate, but you can also memorize Quran faster. I was just aware of this some days ago, as the imam recited Ar-Rahman, I can follow him seamlessly! MasyaAllah. <br />
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What about you? What kind of music you listen to when you write?<br />
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Love,<br />
Prima</div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-46864393969033398862019-03-01T11:08:00.000+07:002019-03-01T11:08:19.907+07:00Readers Who Write: 3 Most Recent Books I've Acquired<div style="text-align: justify;">
Hi everyone! I can’t believe it’s already MARCH yet I still feel like December last year. After taking two months break from real work (at the office I mean…); my brain needs to adapt with office hours, sitting and facing laptop the whole day, then going back to my room with nothing important to do… Well, I have been wondering what I should write this year, of course I want to start writing another book. The project of ‘Antologi Ramadan 2019’ has been postponed because I am considering ideas, topics, contributors, and I even think about the launch etc. Anyhow, this time I plan to make it much better than my previous book, and I am eager to create an unforgettable experience for everyone who takes part in it. But the most urgent thing to do, is to practice writing again and again. I feel like I haven’t found ‘me’ – but it’s actually good to know I still can write a long post like <a href="https://theprimadita.blogspot.com/2019/02/10-quran-verses-to-relieve-your-broken.html" target="_blank">this post last week</a>. I have been starting to read more books since I arrived in Bali just to get some senses. Then I found this blog post about “<a href="http://sharisaurus.com/30-day-post-challenge-for-readers-who-write-days-1-10/" target="_blank">30 Day Post Challenge for Readers Who Write</a>”, and I was like… “let’s do this!” <br /><br />So, within this month I will answer some questions to show my love on books and whatsoever every two days. It is due to my limited English skill (ha ha), I can only response to questions that I understand completely (and I know how to write a good answer as well). I will also choose it randomly, depends on my mood (hehe). But this is the stuff I need to <i>melemaskan jari dan memaksa otak untuk berpikir. </i><br /><br />The very first question is…<br /><br /><i>What are the three most recent books you've acquired? What inspired you to buy them? Where/how did you get them?</i><br /><br />Since the question doesn’t explicitly ask if I READ those books, and if I don’t count the books that I got from my office’ library, hmmm, I will be honest with you guys. Before I went to Bali, I bought three books:<br /><br />1. H. Rusydi Hamka – Pribadi dan Martabat Buya Hamka<br />2. Quraish Shihab – Islam yang Saya Anut: Dasar-Dasar Ajaran Islam<br />3. Yasmin Mogahed – Love & Happiness<br /><br />Unfortunately, from 3 books above, I have only read the last one. I haven’t even unwrapping the first one, lol. The reason was because, I was indeed looking for a nonfiction book in religious genre, but then I lost my mood to read it. Also, Quraish Shihab's explanation is really heavy (the reviews said that this book is the first one of the series), so it’s not the kind of book that I can read in casual manner. I have to make special time to read and comprehend it page by page. That’s why I don’t bother to bring the book to Bali (but I bring the ‘Buya Hamka’ book). I forgot where I bought the ‘Buya Hamka’, but if I am not mistaken, I bought the second and third book at Gramedia Royal Plaza – in one of those nights where I spend it with Tita and we were boring so we were like, “let’s go to the mall”. Hahaha, girls. I finished the ‘Yasmin Mogahed’ book in the train to Sidoarjo to visit Vinka. It’s full of quotes about love and happiness (for sure). The pages are not really connected to each other, so you will feel like jump from one quote to another. But it doesn’t matter anyway, you still can feel related to any quotes inside the book. You can check my Instagram post for this book, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BtCqAsuHU18/" target="_blank">here</a>.<br /><br />I aim to obtain more Islamic insights from these books as I need to establish my book – that will be ‘another Islamic book’. However, just like <a href="https://bitread.id/book_module/book/view/976/perjalanan_menuju_cahaya/" target="_blank">Perjalanan Menuju Cahaya</a>, I want broader audience to enjoy it as well. Thus, I was thinking to read an Islamic book that gives me ‘new’ perspective on how to be a good Muslim, in the lightest way if possible. I haven’t read any writing of Buya Hamka – sadly – but yes, indeed I have heard about him many times. That’s why I bought these books. Anyway, it’s not that I am saying that the ‘Quraish Shihab’ book disappointing me, I still want to read it one day. But for now, I might be looking for more 'easy' book. Got any recommendations?<br /><br />Love,<br />Prima</div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-15976482201543464242019-02-25T15:43:00.003+07:002019-02-25T15:44:55.236+07:00Monday Journal #8<div style="text-align: justify;">
FINALLY, I can reveal the full lineup of Ubud Food Festival KYAAAAA~~~ Check them here: <a href="http://www.ubudfoodfestival.com/" target="_blank">Ubud Food Festival website</a>.</div>
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Working for the biggest literature festival in Southeast Asia – and respectively international food festival, let me tell you: it’s just difficult to keep secrets of the speakers, programs, activities, and so on. Often I am too excited when we get signed agreement from them, and all I can do is writing it down in my journal. Because, if I open up – my boss will discontinue my contract (OH NO); and, unfortunately, there will always be a possibility the speaker cancels their presence. That’s why, don’t you ever ask, “Prim, who will show up at UWRF19?” My lips are sealed!!!</div>
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Anyway, I am starting this week with exhaustion because last week I entered another phase of my life in Bali. I already have some <i>ngaji</i> students, and I also am engaging with several projects. Then, my mom surprisingly came to Bali on Saturday. Oh, I will share the story a bit later, but perhaps you know that I have stopped talking with her for some weeks now. So, when she attended my <i>ngaji</i> class, I was like… “what?” <i>Qadarullah</i>, some days before, I got a call from a woman who needs a guru ngaji for her sister-in-law who can’t read Alquran at all. As my mom is coming without any plan, I asked her if she wants to teach that person. She is happy doing it, and so we spent the weekend to teach the woman (and I have other students as well). </div>
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In Sunday evening, my mom and I went to my place in Gianyar because she wants to see where I stay. Of course she was also eager to see my office. And that’s how I am so tired at the moment… </div>
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I know some people will judge me, saying how I should be grateful to have my mom still around, alive and healthy. But there are things you don’t know and I am not sure if I can reveal it soon. Whenever I want to share the whole stories, I felt like… “but I don’t need the world to see my pain inside.” Every single day I learn to forgive my mom for what she has done to me. In the other side, I learn to not feeling too guilty for ‘leaving’ her to pursue my dreams. I still have a long long way and I don’t want to feed her ego… Well, every person is tested with different kind of trial, and maybe mine is my mom. Whatever it is, may all those hardships bring us closer to Allah’s blessings, aamiin. </div>
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Love,</div>
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Prima </div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-16248574261360408342019-02-21T09:00:00.002+07:002019-02-21T09:02:20.539+07:0010 Quran Verses to Relieve Your Broken Heart<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXl-GZebLIXv-G_8oZv-eUGjX0R1btx_DGSzcNAz9y0KImOjyHmKR-DnayXKp_KSy7UPx7sOZU9aCuOsBJtjJ3OP5cOfi62S6JLwlt-xnOMpmWbWp9M1yZGoHFjihehPEect4p3Jal8-9E/s1600/Heartbreak+is+a+blessing+from+Allah.+It+push+you+back+to+Him%252C+and+it+gives+you+a+chance+to+prioritize+your+own+happiness..png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXl-GZebLIXv-G_8oZv-eUGjX0R1btx_DGSzcNAz9y0KImOjyHmKR-DnayXKp_KSy7UPx7sOZU9aCuOsBJtjJ3OP5cOfi62S6JLwlt-xnOMpmWbWp9M1yZGoHFjihehPEect4p3Jal8-9E/s320/Heartbreak+is+a+blessing+from+Allah.+It+push+you+back+to+Him%252C+and+it+gives+you+a+chance+to+prioritize+your+own+happiness..png" width="320" /></a></div>
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He’s not my type of man, at least from his physique. He is handsome and has fit body – two qualities of men which usually make me feel insecure. <i>Ya eyalah, secara muka pas-pasan, pakai baju kadang serampangan, lipstik sering ketinggalan, apalagi bedak – sudah sejak lama terlupakan. Sadar diri ya tho~</i> But then we exchanged our books, and we talked. If it isn’t obvious by now, I have been always attracted to smart guys and he is one of those guys who can get me like “oh really?” everytime he tells me something new. That time he worked as a political journalist and lecturer, so I got encouraged to read more. He often asking me questions about Islam, and my automatic response be like, “wait, let me browse for a more trustworthy insight”. Sadly, not too long after our introduction, his mom condition got worse. Then I booked the flight ticket to Jakarta in July… without knowing that it was the first and last time I met his mom. That trip made me realized there is something really interesting about him. Soon after I arrived in Bali, he asked me to collaborate for a project. And I was like… <i>“yaaah, ini mah friendzone.” *nangis di pojokan*</i> </div>
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Still, I joined the project because the purpose is good. I also tried to resist my feeling because I am questioning myself. Being with him means accepting his mom as well, and I was doubtful if I could give my best. It was in my nature because I am not even close with my mom. Eventually, I ‘proposed’ him in the end of September because there was one and only thing I chased: the reward from Allah. This, sparked arguments between me and the girl who introduced us. She couldn’t take the idea of me turning down my dreams to accompany him. Well, he rejected my proposal though. I moved forward with my life… until his mom passed away last month. I was sad for not having more opportunities to get to know his mom. That night on the train to Jakarta, I texted my best friend, “what if I cry in front of him?” She said, “don’t! You’ll make him sadder. Give him a lot of smile, I know you can make him happy.” And I was proud of myself to successfully hold my tears for one week. </div>
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However, at one point, I realized I don’t merely like him. <b>I love him</b> because I am happy when he is happy, and I want the best for him. His corny jokes made me giggling, and being away from him tortured me. I know we haven’t done a lot of stuffs together but even if we have limited chances, it’s always high-quality time (I liked it the most when we went to the mosques). And I think that he is grateful to have me around…</div>
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…or at least that’s what I believed in. </div>
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Because ultimately I feel like I am trapped in this situation while wondering if I can be with someone else without 'feeling guilty'. If he doesn’t see me in his future (and I should have seen it from the very beginning), I have to set the limit. I can’t see him as ‘just a friend’ – poor me – yet days by days, people start to associate me and him. My biggest concern, I am worry that IF one day I meet Allah, He will angry to me saying, “claim your rewards to him because your intention in doing good is not Me but him”.</div>
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So this is it, I decided to keep the distance. I am brokenhearted, and I am not sure if this is the correct thing to do. Can’t you just maintain the friendship? – no I can’t (at least for now). As I said, and I meant it, I am happy when he is happy even if it’s without me. But I have to protect my heart too. I can’t force him to have any specific feeling towards me because that’s not how things should be. I want to let him pursuing whatever he is up to, and I can only pray for him. I can’t blame him for the pain I am feeling – what I can do is minimizing my expectation to the lowest. </div>
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Of course it’s easier to be said than done. I felt numb. At times like this, I really thankful for my office mates because they are crazy – also our space was just being renovated so we were busy with moving stuffs and cleaning up. But when I got back to my room in the evening, I stared at my phone and had the urge to text him. I played these three songs continuously: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5fl451CWDY" target="_blank">I Don’t Love You – Urban Zakapa</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPLAS-x4Pg0" target="_blank">Unrequited Love – Yuna</a>, and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDnmEpWr_oA" target="_blank">Buka Hati – Yura Yunita</a>; yet Alquran brought peace to my mind instantly. Therefore, I think it’s better if I gathered those Quran verses which have soothed my heart, just in case you are experiencing the same thing right now (but I pray that you don’t):</div>
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<b>1. Q.S. Al-Baqarah (2): 216</b></div>
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But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.</div>
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<b>2. Q.S. An-Nazi’at (79): 40 – 41</b></div>
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But as for he who feared the position of his Lord and prevented the soul from [unlawful] inclination, // Then indeed, Paradise will be [his] refuge.</div>
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<b>3. Q.S. Al-Baqarah (2): 284</b></div>
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To Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth. Whether you show what is within yourselves or conceal it, Allah will bring you to account for it. Then He will forgive whom He wills and punish whom He wills, and Allah is over all things competent.</div>
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<b>4. Q.S. Ibrahim (14): 34</b></div>
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And He gave you from all you asked of Him. And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.</div>
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<b>5. Q.S. Al-Kahfi (18): 28</b></div>
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And keep yourself patient [by being] with those who call upon their Lord in the morning and the evening, seeking His countenance. And let not your eyes pass beyond them, desiring adornments of the worldly life, and do not obey one whose heart We have made heedless of Our remembrance and who follows his desire and whose affair is ever [in] neglect.</div>
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<b>6. Q.S. Az-Zumar (39): 53</b></div>
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Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."</div>
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<b>7. Q.S. Yunus (10): 57</b></div>
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O mankind, there has to come to you instruction from your Lord and healing for what is in the breasts and guidance and mercy for the believers. <i>[It speaks about Alquran]</i></div>
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<b>8. Q.S. Adh-Dhuha (93): 3</b></div>
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Your Lord has not taken leave of you, [O Muhammad], nor has He detested [you].</div>
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<b>9. Q.S. Asy-Sura (42): 30</b></div>
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And whatever strikes you of disaster - it is for what your hands have earned; but He pardons much.</div>
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<b>10. Q.S. Al-Fatihah (1): 3</b></div>
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The Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful,</div>
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Surely there are far many verses that will relate with the case, but I chose some which remind me that: </div>
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<li style="text-align: justify;">Allah is the Greatest, if He can guard the universe, then He can send my spouse to my life in no time.</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">It’s just He wants to test me for the sake of my goodness. Maybe I do have committed a lot of sins in the process of ‘acquiring’ him to be my husband. So I need to let go, fix my heart, improve myself, and start all over again. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">He knows better than me. He sees what I can’t see, and He is protecting me from cases that (perhaps) will be much more painful if only he really becomes my husband. </li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">He has given me things before I asked. Period. Let me repeat it: <b>He has given me things before I asked.</b> Should I spend more time in complaining for things I haven’t got, than being grateful for things already in my hands?</li>
<li style="text-align: justify;">He is the highest and the purest form of love, and He already loves us before anyone else. Should I betray him? </li>
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<i>The only relationship where you will never have your heart broken is your relationship with Allah.</i></blockquote>
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I usually cut the connection with the men after failed dates. But with this guy, it is so HARD to do because I do really care about him. Hopefully someday we can talk again without me being too attached to him, or if it never happens, I believe Allah will give us something much better. If someone breaks your heart recently, please know that with every lost will be replaced, and hold onto Allah so that He will give you something more fit for your life (aamiin). Trust Him!</div>
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Warmest hugs,</div>
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Prima</div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-50988269791488450522019-02-18T14:03:00.000+07:002019-02-19T10:24:34.905+07:00Monday Journal #7<div style="text-align: justify;">
Hari Senin dan Kamis minggu lalu, saya mencoba untuk puasa sunah. Tujuannya <strike>supaya kurus</strike> buat latihan menjelang bulan Ramadan, semacam ‘pemanasan’ dan membiasakan diri. Apalagi Ramadan tahun ini saya akan berpuasa sambil bekerja di kantor secara penuh waktu, dan <i>commuting</i> dengan motor sejauh 13km sekali jalan. <i>It’s a very big deal for me as the last time I worked in Ramadan was in 2014.</i> Sisanya, diisi dengan kuliah atau mengerjakan tesis – yang sebenarnya enggak ringan juga. Tapi bukan bekerja yang membuat saya merasa berat. Belum-belum saya merasa sedih saat membayangkan seharian puasa itu tidak dimaksimalkan untuk salat sunah atau membaca Alquran. Yaaa, semoga ada cara agar Ramadan tidak terlewatkan begitu saja. Aamiin. </div>
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<i>Ma’la Bin Fadhal berkata: “Dulu Sahabat Rasulullah berdoa kepada Allah sejak enam bulan sebelum masuk Ramadhan agar Allah sampaikan umur mereka ke bulan yang penuh berkah itu. Kemudian selama enam bulan sejak Ramadhan berlalu, mereka berdoa agar Allah terima semua amal ibadah mereka di bulan itu. Di antara doa mereka ialah: Yaa Allah, sampaikan aku ke Ramadhan dalam keadaan selamat. Yaa Allah, selamatkan aku saat Ramadhan dan selamatkan amal ibadahku di dalamnya sehingga menjadi amal yang diterima.” (HR. at Thabrani: 2/1226). [<a href="https://www.hidayatullah.com/kajian/oase-iman/read/2015/06/04/71111/inilah-menejemen-rasulullah-menyambut-ramadhan.html" target="_blank">Sumber</a>]</i></div>
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Kembali ke saya, ternyata minggu lalu saya malah nge-drop. Sebenarnya ada andil dari psikosomatis yang saya alami, tapi saya enggak pernah sakit perut seperti itu! Hari Kamis saya putuskan tetap lanjut puasa sambil ‘mengistirahatkan’ perut, dan Alhamdulillah sakitnya hilang. Cumaaa, dehidrasinya semakin parah (ya iyalah). Terpaksa hari ini saya skip puasa dulu, terutama karena saya masih belum terbiasa motoran Denpasar-Gianyar (jauuuh, capeeek, punggung remeeek).</div>
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Bagaimanapun, berhubung saya sudah berkomitmen untuk pindah kos sejauh itu DEMI dekat dengan masjid, ya ‘mau enggak mau’ saya membiasakan diri untuk salat di masjid setiap isya’ (penginnya sih sejak sebelum magrib sudah <i>standby</i> di masjid, tapi biasanya baru nyampe kos). <i>So, how is life in Gianyar?</i> Kotanya kecil walaupun Gianyar justru merupakan pusat kabupatennya Ubud. Perbandingannya Gianyar mungkin Tulungagung, Jawa Timur. Sepertinya sejauh mata memandang, orang tinggal di Gianyar karena mengikuti suami/ayah yang menjadi tentara atau polisi. Ada juga mahasiswa sekolah perhotelan atau akademi pariwisata, tapi populasi warga yang lebih banyak adalah yang sudah berkeluarga. Makanya setiap kenalan di masjid atau ngobrol sama orang di supermarket (hahaha <i>it’s not even a C*rrefour or Super*ndo</i>), orang pasti heran sama saya. Kerja di Ubud, masih single, <i>what the hell are you doing in this tiny city?</i> </div>
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Hingga saat ini saya pribadi belum begitu betah di Gianyar. Biar dikata Ubud <i>is just too touristy</i>, tapi orang-orang di Ubud sangat hangat dan ramah. <i>But we’ll see, maybe I need 1-2 weeks more to be settled in this city. If not, I can always move back to Ubud.</i> Entah mengapa, akhir-akhir ini saya enggak mau hidup saya dibuat susah atau repot oleh hal-hal ‘kecil’. Semua masalah di dunia ini PASTI ada solusinya. Kalau sampai belum kelar, ya mungkin memang belum waktunya. At least we tried, and we pray for it.<i> So, whatever you are facing at the moment, don’t lose hope. Allah knows your struggle, He just wants to see your patience.</i> Sampai kapan harus bersabar? Ya sampai nanti, sampai mati. :)</div>
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<i>Lots of love,</i></div>
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Prima</div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-40641905495080309302019-02-11T11:09:00.002+07:002019-02-11T11:11:06.608+07:00Monday Journal #6<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>dan bahwasanya Dialah yang menjadikan orang tertawa dan menangis, (Q.S. An-Najm (53): 43)</i></div>
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Sekitar dua hari yang lalu, saya mengatakan kepada sahabat bahwa hidup saya tak ubahnya seperti sedang naik <i>rollercoaster</i>: sebentar <i>happy</i>, sebentar gila. Sering saya komat-kamit berdoa, “Ya Allah, tolong jangan buat aku jantungan dengan skenario-Mu.” Bayangkan saja, Kamis malam saya bingung sebingung-bingungnya karena sudah mentok, tetiba keesokan paginya saya dapat bantuan bertubi-tubi dari teman-teman… lalu sorenya saya mem-<i>block</i> semua kontak mama dan adik saya karena bertengkar habis-habisan di telepon. Ya, begitulah hidup. <i>You can plan, but you have to prepare yourself for all the surprises. </i></div>
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Lalu bagaimana caranya menguatkan mental untuk menjalani hari-hari? Saya pribadi sedang berupaya memperbaiki salat, dari mulai wajib, sunah rawatib, dan salat-salat yang lain. <b>Saya juga belajar untuk lebih khusyuk dengan cara menyelami makna bacaan salat dan surat pendek.</b> Pada suatu waktu, saya pernah hampir ambruk karena mencoba menginternalisasi kalimat takbir. Iya, ‘Allahu Akbar’ yang biasa kita bacakan sambil lalu untuk mengawali salat. Kali itu, saya mengumpulkan semua konsentrasi yang saya punya dan ‘mengucap’ Allahu Akbar dari hati. Ya Allah, rasanya tubuh saya ingin bersungkur – bersujud dan tidak bangun lagi. </div>
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<i>“…menggemakan Allahu Akbar merupakan penegasan hakiki tentang betapa kecilnya kita sebagai makhluk di hadapan Sang Pencipta. Menurut Imam Ja’far, Kemahabesaran Allah tidak bisa diukur dengan suatu hal apapun. Merasakan kebesaran Allah adalah dengan cara meresapinya lewat akhlak dan akidah kita. Karena jika kita benar-benar meresapi hal itu, kalimat takbir yang sering kita ucap secara langsung membuat kita merasa kerdil, kecil, dan tiada daya upaya.”</i> – <a href="https://bincangsyariah.com/khazanah/meresapi-makna-allahu-akbar/" target="_blank">BincangSyariah</a></div>
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Setelah memahami agungnya kalimat takbir ini, saya jadi lebih sering ‘berbincang’ dengan Allah.</div>
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“Ya Allah, aku mau pindah kos ke Gianyar hari ini.” – Eh kok, sopir langganan sedang <i>available</i>. </div>
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“Ya Allah, maaf tadi pagi aku tidak jadi datang pengajian di Masjid Muhammad. Sekarang aku akan salat zuhur di Masjid Al-Ukhuwwah.” – <i>Ndilalah</i> saya bertemu dengan KBIH yang sedang manasik haji, dan diperbolehkan mempromosikan Pelatihan Baca Alquran. </div>
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“Ya Allah, terima kasih sudah membangunkan aku untuk tahajud.” – Kebetulan teman tidak pulang ke kosnya sehingga saya bisa lebih leluasa. </div>
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“Ya Allah, aku ingin salat isya’ di masjid dekat kos.” – Perjalanan Denpasar-Gianyar sejauh 30km lancarrr. </div>
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Ya, Allah se-Maha Besar itu. Tidak ada masalah yang terlalu besar untuk Allah selesaikan. </div>
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Tentu saja hal ini tidak lantas membuat hidup saya mulus. Masih ada friksi dimana-mana, seperti saya ceritakan minggu lalu, tentang perpisahan saya dengan grup pengajian di Bali. Problematika rumah tangga antara saya dan mama yang tidak kunjung membaik. Kisah cinta yang enggak ada kemajuan (hari Sabtu kemarin saya maraton nonton He’s Just Not That Into You dan 500 Days of Summer, <i>and I feel so so stupid). And many other stuffs.</i> </div>
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<i>I am sure you feel that way too.</i> Rasanya pengin hidup ini baik-baik aja terus, enggak ada yang bikin sedih. Ya kan? </div>
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<b>Tapi Allah menciptakan kekurangan, agar kita bisa mengapresiasi kelebihan. Allah membuat kita menangis, agar kita tahu betapa menyenangkannya tertawa. Allah mengambil begitu banyak hal (atau bahkan orang) dari genggaman kita, agar kita kembali kepada-Nya. </b></div>
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<i>…"Cukuplah Allah menjadi Penolong kami dan Allah adalah sebaik-baik Pelindung". (Q.S. Ali ‘Imran (3): 173)</i></div>
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Semoga minggu ini saya dapat lebih rida atas ketetapan-Nya, mengurangi pengharapan dan ketergantungan atas manusia, dan --- lebih produktif lagi di kantor (penting!). Semoga kamu pun bisa belajar dari apa yang alami, <i>trust Him no matter what</i>!</div>
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Salam,</div>
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Prima</div>
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Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-70029364470361948632019-02-04T10:09:00.003+07:002019-02-04T10:54:31.842+07:00Monday Journal #4 & #5<br />
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Starting this week with a great doubt, “maybe I shouldn’t
come back to Bali?”</div>
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I always embrace solitude, but this time I feel so lonely as
I don’t know who to talk to. My sister has not responded to my WA text and message
on Facebook, and she even rejected my call. With my mom blocked my WA, I really
feel like I am being left out. Of course with my cousin came with me to Ubud
last Thursday, as she had a wedding party to attend to (and I got invited too),
it helped a lot. But soon after she was gone, I drowned again. For some
minutes, I considered to buy a flight ticket and go home to Malang. </div>
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But I know the situation won’t be better... </div>
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Flashback to last Monday, actually I was encouraged about
being a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">guru ngaji </i>as I joined the
National Gathering of Rubaiyat. You know last year I tried to teach some
students here in Bali (and in Jakarta as well), and my journey was
unquestionably difficult. It was indeed fulfilling but sometimes I called my
best friend crying, oh why my student like this, and another student like
that...</div>
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That’s when I got closer with Quran and read Sirah Nabawiyah
more... I know the battle of the prophets is much severe than mine. Even Nabi
Nuh had only 70 followers after hundred years of da’wah. I shouldn’t complain,
should I?</div>
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However, as my departure time to Bali was approaching, a new
problem emerged. Last year I depended on my <i>pengajian</i> friends to strengthen my
faith, but now I only have TWO friends left (well, it’s still better than no
one, though). Long story short, I decided to sign out from WhatsApp group
because I couldn’t stand of being mocked by the members. It wasn’t the first
time we argued with everyone versus me situation, but this time I got mad. If
it’s a ‘live’ discussion, I might be screaming, “Iqra’, Ukhti!!!” (and I did
send this text). Eventually I have to accept the fact that they only opened the
discussion for those who agree with the grand opinion. What hurts me the most
were the facilitators also attacked me; in the group, on personal chat, and on
WhatsApp status. I was like... what kind of ‘sisters’ I am connecting in
here...</div>
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I don’t know what will happen in the next days ahead, but I
am looking forward to meet my best friends who plan to visit Bali on Friday. I
am afraid of loneliness yet I set my room to be completely dark last night. I
am thankful that I still can wake up this morning and I pray that I will be
optimistic again soon, but until I have that spark, I decided to hold the
activities of Muslimah Sinau. I just want to spend more time with Alquran now,
recite and read the translation. I know this is not the end of my life, and so
I begged Allah to give me ‘’kesudahan yang terbaik”, which means if I die, I
pray it is not because I committed suicide. </div>
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This is another level of depression and what worst is
because I am in BALI. All I know I will survive, I have to – I don’t know with
what ways, but I am not giving up (yet...).</div>
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Prima</div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6715360985895392571.post-74298253137560505652019-01-21T22:17:00.001+07:002019-01-21T22:20:37.545+07:00Monday Journal #2 & #3<div style="text-align: justify;">
Some weeks ago, a friend of mine said, “We never know what’s going to happen tomorrow”. I, being a person who is freak with preparation and certainty, whispered, “But we can always plan”.<br />
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Then Allah hits me hard by turning my life upside down for the last two weeks. <br />
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I went to Jakarta on Wednesday, January 9, with two plans: accompanying Qowi and holding “A Day Full of Inspiration”. Rode Majapahit train were one of the worst decisions in my life, 16 hours on the train for God sake!!! Once I arrived in Jakarta, I took a nap for an hour, rushed to check the event venue, then went to Qowi’ house for <i>pengajian</i>. I know I said that the event got cancelled but because of some considerations I think it HAS to be realized. MasyaAllah, I could only praise Allah all over the way because He made it possible. Unfortunately, I hardly concentrated with the event on Sunday as I felt ache all over my body. Even worse, I didn’t want to cry in front of Qowi so I endured those emotional feeling along the days. <br />
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Seven days passed quickly and this whole experience was indeed make me feel grateful regarding some little things that I used to complain about; but then I lost the sense of what really matters. Things are slipped from my hands, and I didn’t know what to expect anymore. I don’t understand which thing that influence more – is it because I am currently sick (flu + sore throat + inflammation + cough) or because I am psychologically discomfort. Suddenly Ubud is no longer important as all I want is snuggling on my bed and doing nothing.<br />
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However, as I read Yaasiin three times last week, these verses stuck in my head:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSiBFZw1zX0CzNlVFKgYPm6L-xU5wh1T0MeDFEFn9y3HClr41uNrp6LTkFQxMCK6-byBuOl35YrBqgx7AEOQ-tTUwIgoAmOqNHl8HXRGYHDHzULVukKY2pJ-xmJIyu-s2qdcJUu-cLzpCQ/s1600/yasin+81+83.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="307" data-original-width="660" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSiBFZw1zX0CzNlVFKgYPm6L-xU5wh1T0MeDFEFn9y3HClr41uNrp6LTkFQxMCK6-byBuOl35YrBqgx7AEOQ-tTUwIgoAmOqNHl8HXRGYHDHzULVukKY2pJ-xmJIyu-s2qdcJUu-cLzpCQ/s400/yasin+81+83.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Only then I came into two conclusions:<br />
1. I have been acting like Allah is not All-Powerful. Everything I gained were because of my efforts, and if there is something doesn’t happen in the future it’s His mistake. <br />
2. I have considered myself a perfect human being so no one will beat me. I am saying this for a specific case but again, I forgot that Allah is Almighty. Why would He give me something when He knows something is better to not be with me? <br />
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Therefore, I am learning to let go. I am trying to move forward by whatever it means, because being trapped in this zone hurts me so much. I love the idea of love. For me, love is give and give NOT take and give. I love giving some parts of me to someone but this is it. I guess the ‘fight for love’ spirit is overrated and we should be really careful with that. These two months break have opened my eyes that I just can't make some people happy, and I should love myself before I love others. </div>
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I will be more determined to turn to Allah when I am disappointed. I should have prioritized what He wants me to do, not what I really want to do for the sake of my lust. I hope, next time Allah tested me, I can ask myself, "what Allah wants me to learn?" instead of complaining. <br />
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I won’t regret the past and I pray that this beautiful feeling (of loving someone) will come back to me one day. But for now, let’s just open a new page of life and begin another dream. <br />
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Bismillah.<br />
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Lots of love,<br />
Prima<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Image source: <a href="https://rumaysho.com/16281-faedah-surat-yasin-kun-fayakun.html" target="_blank">Faedah Surat Yasin: Kun Fayakun</a></span></i> </div>
Primadita Rahmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03542786457450568144noreply@blogger.com0